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Jan. 1st, 2006 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozing_kittenBand: H.O.T.
Pairing: Tony/Woo Hyuk
Title: Christmas Children
Rating: NC-17
Chapters: 3
Summary:AU Woo Hyuk is a student from Korea going to a private school in Japan, he fell in love with his teacher and they started a secret relationship. As Christmas time rolls around Woo Hyuk's father wants him to return to Korea, Woo Hyuk doesn't want to leave Tony. Fighting against his father to stay, and the world for his hidden relationship, mostly fighting himself to find the true meaning of his love.
Woo Hyuk looked at his father; who looked only at his morning paper. His gaze was chilling; almond eyes staring intently at his father, anger smouldering in deep brown depths.
“What?” He responded, there was a certain element of what he didn’t want to believe in what he thought his father said.
“I want you to come with me to the Christmas party,” His father said smoothly; he didn’t bother to put the paper down while talking to his only son. He could feel the cold look settled on him but didn’t bother to register it; Woo Hyuk was only a child and his opinion didn’t matter.
“And after that.” Woo Hyuk forced his voice out, it was level; only coloured with the barest hint of hostility and none of the pain echoing around in him.
“We are going to go meet the principal of the boarding school I’m transferring you too.”
“Why?” Woo Hyuk felt like the little pieces in him were shattering, each one killing a small piece of him.
“It has a good reputation.” His father flipped the page absently ignoring his son’s subtle anger.
“The school I’m going to is fine,”
“I thought you hated it.”
“… No … I don’t,” Woo Hyuk paused here -he did hate his school. He had hated this entire country, but that was before.
Before Tony.
Now his life is full of colour; it has substance; it has more meaning. It was like he had stepped out of a two dimensional picture into a three dimension world. He had been so lost and so alone, lost in his own mind, and so desperately lonely. Tony had held him, showed him the way and kissed away his fears; and now he wanted to leave so soon? Just the shadow of the imagined pain from the transfer ate at him, he did not want this.
“Wouldn’t you do better in a Korean school?”
“I’m learning! I’m doing fine in Japanese, and I can do better if you want.” Woo Hyuk was scared; he hated to admit that; but he was so scared right now. Scared that he would be torn away from his lover, his teacher.
“That’s not the point, I want you transferred to xx academy.”
“But I don’t want to go.” Woo Hyuk drew what he hoped was a steady breath; his father knew nothing of Tony, his father knew nothing of him.
“I think it would be good for you.” His father flipped another page; his indifference was normal but frustrating.
“Father…”
“I’m not arguing with you anymore about this, you fought me over the move to Japan and now you are fighting with me not to go back to Korea.” His father looked at him now, putting the paper down he looked straight at his son.
Woo Hyuk felt the words dry up within him, and the rage dwindle to replaced by a sort of hopelessness. ‘I want to stay by Tony,’ Woo Hyuk glared as hard as he could ‘But you can’t know that’ and he stormed out of the house.
The wind was cold and there was snow on the ground, it was late December. Dangerously close to Christmas, one could see by all the normal signs, literal and figurative. Stores displayed large poster declaring that you could get all your holiday shopping done in one place, each bigger, or more flashy then the others; vying for costumers. There was a sort of infused warmth in the air that was undeniably the essence of Christmas spirit.
Woo Hyuk battled the wind with a trendy brown coat that was ill equipped for this weather having been made with autumn in mind. His jean-clad legs were frozen with the cold wind’s icy fingers, his fingers numb from the cold. He wore a hat pulled over his dark blond hair and it offered little protection against the biting winter cold. Christmas was an enchanting time, when you were dressed for it.
His anger was a flame burning in him, his desperation driving him to face the chill -to press on. It wasn’t too far; it would have been better if he had grabbed his wallet so he could take the train. It wasn’t too far.
He needed to see him, he needed to talk to Tony, there had to be a way, and he needed somewhere where he could think. He needed to get to his comfort zone; he needed the familiar warmth of his teacher’s apartment, the familiar arms around him. It would have been closer to walk to Hee Jun’s house and call Tony for a ride, but logic had no place when love was in jeopardy.
~~
Tony was watching television when the knock on his door was heard; he looked at the clock revealing it was still rather early in the morning. Standing he reached the door wondering the entire time who it could be. He was expecting no one, and who would drop by uninvited?
“Hyukya?!” Tony gasped when he discovered the boy standing in his hallway. Woo Hyuk looked very very cold; his normally pale face was whitened a little more, except for the violent red colour blooming in his cheeks and the end of his nose. In the few seconds that passed between them Tony noted that Woo Hyuk’s body trembled, the cold drawing tremors out of him. “You look frozen to death!”
“Cold does that,” the student answered, his teeth chattered together and Tony pulled him into his apartment shutting the door behind him. Shutting the outside world off from them, keeping their happiness contained in their own little bubble.
“What were you doing out in the cold with only this?” Tony looked alarmed at how pale Woo Hyuk looked, he pulled the coat off the young man and pulled him into his living room. Sitting Woo Hyuk down on the couch he rushed off to his room to grab a blanket.
“…I was walking here.” Woo Hyuk answered when Tony got back with the blanket. He looked away from Tony, and out the window, the tall buildings crowded around all he could see, their sleekness reminding him of his father; and his father’s wishes.
“Why would you do such a silly thing,” Tony asked, he pulled off Woo Hyuk’s shoes for him, knowing that the teen was capable of doing it himself.
“To see you.” Woo Hyuk answered simply, Tony looked up at him, deep eyes meeting with the stony eyes of the other youth, he had thought that he had melted that ice long ago.
“You could have called,” Tony said he put Woo Hyuk’s boots aside and sat on the couch, he pulled the younger man against himself. His student’s skin was like ice when it touched his; he flinched but remained in contact none the less. Woo Hyuk leaned against him soaking up the other man’s body heat as the blanket was wrapped around them both.
Their bubble became smaller, the apartment wasn’t important; the heat of their combined bodies, the barrier formed by the blanket. Two worlds narrowed down to one existence; to one small point in time, one shared warmth.
That evening Woo Hyuk cooked dinner, Tony was marking some papers in the living room, and he was completely immersed in his task. Woo Hyuk looked around Tony’s mostly tidy kitchen and smiled sadly, he didn’t want to have to leave this place, he didn’t want to have to be cold. Tony’s apartment was where Woo Hyuk felt most comfortable; he knew this place well. Just like he knew how to cook Tony a meal he would like, just like he knew how to breathe. It was all so natural- this place was natural. Woo Hyuk realized how much this meant to him, this impossible relationship. It was his love, and he didn’t want to leave it, Tony was important to him, he just might fall apart without him.
“Tony,” Woo Hyuk said softly, he was sitting on the couch, Tony had his head resting on his lap and Woo Hyuk would run his fingers though Tony’s soft hair.
“Hmm?” Tony was watching the television, the feeling of Woo Hyuk’s cold hands through his hair was lulling and he was on the verge of sleep.
“I need to tell you something.” Woo Hyuk took a deep breath, it was hard for him to say, but he knew Tony would be on his side. Together they would figure something out, they would find a way to beat back the world that wanted in; they would keep their happiness.
“What is it Hyukie?” Tony asked, he could feel the tension that wound through the other’s thin body.
“My father, he wants me to transfer schools again,” Woo Hyuk’s voice wavered slightly despite all that he put into keeping his face impassive.
“So soon?!” Tony said, he sat up and turned to look at his younger lover. He knew that this would have happened eventually; pure love never lasts.
“After Christmas, I’m to be going to a boarding school in Korea.” Woo Hyuk met his eyes; his icy stare barely hid the desperate child there.
“For sure?” Tony looked at Woo Hyuk’s face, the fear he tried to hide. He smiled slightly, cupping the other’s cheek with his hand, he tried to keep is voice as even as possible.
“That’s what he wants.” Woo Hyuk answered sadly,
“We’ll think of something.” Tony said and Woo Hyuk gave him the smallest of smiles.
“We will.” Woo Hyuk’s voice was firm trying to draw on his strength when he felt so scared. Scared all the colour would leave his life again, that he would be forced back into the picture; only to do the same thing day in and day out, and never feel this warmth and this love again.
“How about sleep now, we can talk more in the morning?” Tony asked, Woo Hyuk nodded at him, his pale face shining in the light, a vision of an angel.
Tony lay awake long into the night, Woo Hyuk slept peacefully beside him, his skin blending into the white sheets; Tony was worried he would loose that boy in his bed. The sheets would, like the endless ocean, swallow him up and Tony would never see those heartbreaking eyes again, and kiss those pink lips.
Maybe it would be for the better is he were to leave, better for both of them if this forbidden fruit were cut form the tree before they ate to much. Pure love never lasts, and Tony knew that; he had much more experience in life, and thought maybe it would be better if Woo Hyuk left. It would hurt, god it would hurt so much, like cutting off your own hand, but if it needs to be done so that they might both survive. He would need to be the one to cut it, Woo Hyuk was only a child still and he didn’t understand what needed to be done and why. It would be so hard to explain to Woo Hyuk why he was doing this. Would Woo Hyuk believe he still loved him? Can you love someone and push them away at the same time?
Tony was going to try.
It needed to be done, Woo Hyuk needed to be set free, he may have thought he knew what love was, he may of said ‘I’ll die without you’ but he didn’t know life or death. And he didn’t know love. Love can only be learned by the lack of. Hadn’t Woo Hyuk been left alone in his life long enough all ready? It would hurt.
It would hurt so much but it was the only thing that Tony could think of to do. Their relationship was wrong to begin with, and should have never happened, Tony was a fool to have let it go on so long. He could see that now, oh how clear hindsight was. Looking at Woo Hyuk’s sleeping figure Tony watched how his pale skin blended with the bedding so easily, how easy it was to love the white angel.
It would hurt. Like cutting out your own heart.
The next morning, Tony was out of bed before Woo Hyuk woke up. This was the first time that he had ever woken up alone in Tony’s bed, the first time he had not awoken to his teacher’s bright smile. He didn’t notice, there was the sound of food cooking in the kitchen and Woo Hyuk moved towards that, he smiled and watched the older man move around the kitchen. There was a certain briskness to his movements that Woo Hyuk failed to notice; when Tony looked at him he smiled at the older man, all worry was driven from his mind, they would think of something, then they would be together.
“Good Morning Hyukya,” Tony said, he had spent most the night awake and thinking about his younger lover. He had thought about how he would break the news to him; how he would explain it to him. How to best break his heart.
“Morning Tony,” Woo Hyuk looked at him, his clothing was hastily pulled on and his eyes were soft; Tony felt his heart constrict, he didn’t suspect a thing.
Just a child.
“Sleep well?” Tony asked, he got a nod from the other boy; Tony served the food and they sat down at the table in his living room. “I was thinking…” Tony began, his voice sounded casual, Woo Hyuk looked up, he expected something; he expected Tony to have all the answers. He did, just not the ones he wanted.
“Did you figure out anything?” Woo Hyuk smiled, “I was thinking too, if I asked Yoshiki I’m sure that he could convince my father that switching schools so soon would be bad for me…”
“No Hyukya…” Tony’s throat locked up, in his eyes he pictured pained eyes and pushed on anyways. “I think… I think you should listen to your father.”
“What?” There was a visible change in Woo Hyuk’s face and in the way he sat. A familiar stone expression fell over his sharp features, a hardness in his jaw that spoke of inner pain.
“I think that you should go back to Korea,” Tony tried to meet Woo Hyuk’s cold eyes but failed. “It would be better for you and for me.”
“What do you mean?” Woo Hyuk’s voice was like a breeze of frigid air, and Tony had trouble remembering his well thought out points.
“You could focus on your studies better…” Tony knew the point fell short but he couldn’t explain his heart to the other boy.
“…I understand.” Tony desperately wanted to tell Woo Hyuk that no he didn’t. The younger youth did not deal with pain well and Tony could only imagine all that went on in his mind right now. “I’ll be going now.” Woo Hyuk stood and Tony felt powerless to stop him. Grabbing his coat Woo Hyuk stormed out of the house, Tony stared at his food after the younger left. He did not feel like eating right now.
It was cold, so very cold.
Woo Hyuk spent the first day after Tony’s house in his room, it was cold. When he got home his father was not there, he turned the thermostat up and locked himself in his room. When the maid got home he heard her call out to him,
“Jang Woo Hyuk?” Or ‘Hyuku’ as she said- he hated that. “Why is it so warm in here?!” Her high voice echoing off the walls.
It wasn’t hot it was cold, she was just stupid.
He didn’t answer her; he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Hee Jun called, he didn’t answer that either. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, no one, not even Tony. Why had Tony said that? Why had he rejected him? Woo Hyuk felt lost, and that familiar coldness swept through him, numbing his heart. He never needed Tony before this, then why did it hurt so much to leave him?
Nothing in his mind could compare to the shattering he felt inside of him. Nothing in his short history could measure up, not even the pain and loneliness after he first came to Japan. If he could remember when his mom died that might work; but there was no measure to how much he missed Tony. The thought that Tony didn’t care about him was almost unbearable, but he survived before Tony why shouldn’t he survive after him?
The next day his father returned, Woo Hyuk was sitting in dining room, he was eating some noodles, his father sat across the table from him. There was a long silence that both chose to ignore; finally Woo Hyuk spoke.
“What was the name of that school?” Woo Hyuk asked, his voice seemed so far away, not his own.
“xx Academy,” his father looked at him, Woo Hyuk met those eyes, so emotionless; so like his own.
“What should I wear to the party?” Woo Hyuk asked, there was a layer of ice of his heart and he couldn’t feel the pain that shot through him. He didn’t need Tony if Tony didn’t need him.
“A suit would be nice,”
“Alright…”
It was going to be a cold Christmas…
Tony was alone, his apartment felt empty. Woo Hyuk was not in the kitchen making food; Woo Hyuk was not in the bedroom lost in his sheets. Woo Hyuk was not anywhere; not anywhere with him. It had been his choice to push him away; it had been for the better. But god did it hurt.
Tony looked at the pile of winter work he still had to mark, but he was not up to it. Woo Hyuk’s paper was somewhere in that pile, his handwriting. Tony didn’t want to look at that, remember graceful white hands that fluttered like birds over his body. He wanted Woo Hyuk back here with him, talking in his smooth deep voice; Tony bit his full bottom lip. He was only a child, this would be better for him, it had to be, if not he would have done this for nothing. Woo Hyuk was only a child, even only ten years older; Tony had to be the strong one, he needed to be the one to say this was bad, he was the teacher.
The phone ringing was shrill and caustic on his ears, shattering the almost calm that was left in Hyukya’s place. Tony briefly wondered who it was, lifting it to his ear a cheerfully concerned voice spoke to him.
“An-sensei?” it was Hee Jun.
“Yeah,” Tony was relieved that it wasn’t Woo Hyuk, he couldn’t tell him to leave twice.
“Sorry to bug you!” His cheerful voice spoke otherwise.
“Ask him already!” He heard someone call in the background; he identified it as Kang Ta.
“Right, right,” Hee Jun muttered, there was a laugh, a high pitched voice said something that he couldn’t understand, it might have been Ryohei. “Have you seen Hyukie?” Hee Jun’s voice called him back to his head. “He didn’t show up for dance today,”
“He didn’t?” Tony’s voice was masked, thickened with slight bit of emotion, how could he tell them that he wouldn’t be back. Should he tell them, should he let Woo Hyuk tell them? Should he just hang up now…?
“No, he didn’t.” There was another muffled burst of laughter that seemed like it was part of an entirely different world. Dancing was a place here there was happiness, this apartment had once been a place of happiness. “Hyukie never misses practice!”
“He’s a good boy…” Tony mumbled to himself.
“What did you say sensei?” Hee Jun asked,
“Nothing…” Tony shook is head, he needed to stop this; he needed to stop thinking about Jang Woo Hyuk. He needed to learn to stop loving. Maybe now Woo Hyuk would be his teacher?
“Have you seen him? Do you know where he is?”
“No I have no clue where he might be.” Tony lied; Woo Hyuk was in the cold, that’s where he was.
“Well I called his house; left a few messages too…” Hee Jun trailed off for a moment, one of the other dancers said something Tony didn’t catch. “Thanks An-sensei, I’ll talk to you later.”
“BAI BAI!!” There was a course from some of the other students, they sounded too happy, so far away.
The phone went dead in his hands without him saying good-bye. He didn’t need to; he would see them again, once school started and he had to watch over dance club practice, he would see them again. He never did say good-bye to Woo Hyuk.
The party was mellow, relaxing, all the things a party should be. Woo Hyuk stood in a quieter part of the room; this allowed him to watch as the world went by in front of him. Everything was in black and white again- he had lost his colour. His tuxedo fit nicely, the white spotless and the folds sharp, there was a single red flower pinned to his pocket. A splash of colour on the angel of white, to bad it was cut from the plant and would die shortly.
Woo Hyuk felt weak, mind and body; sleep was shallow and food bleak. Standing the corner, he had a glass of white wine in one hand and was looking intently at the snow falling beyond the glass. The outside world was awash in white; the large snow flakes danced and twirled on their suicidal ritual. The white was blotting out the colour, all awash in shades of grey, all but the red flower that was reflected in the window.
Red was the colour of blood, but there was no red blood in a world of white.
And white blood was not as romantic, but then the blood must be white for romance died when Tony told him to go. All was white and it seemed that all hope was lost. Happiness was a fresh memory, smiles and laughs. A life lived at a distance, had he not thrown himself enough into the mad love? Had there not been enough of him the typhoon of kisses?
Why had Tony told him to leave? It bothered him, almost as much as the empty feeling in his chest. Why? Why? Why? Why had he not stayed and asked Tony more, because it hurt, because he was afraid that Tony might be right. After all Tony was a teacher and teachers knew all. If Tony said that he had to go he should go, teacher knew best. But did Tony want him to die? This pain in his heart in his mind seemed like it was going to consume him and chew him up while he pretended it didn’t hurt.
“Hello,” Japanese voice and dismissed, a slight flick of deep eyes. “What are you doing all alone in this corner? Isn’t it cold by the window?” The chatter was like an endless stream and Woo Hyuk couldn’t quite block the sound out, her voice was to high and it grated on his nerves. It was not the voice he wanted to hear right now, Tony’s voice was low and soothing.
“What do you want?!” Woo Hyuk snapped, his Japanese was clumsy and harsh, she recoiled, her party dress was red.
“I wanted to see if you wanted to dance,” a stutter that may have supposed to be cute, Woo Hyuk sneered at her, it was red.
“Why would I want to dance with you?” Harsh, intentionally so. She recoiled back father, heels clicking on the polished floor. Woo Hyuk let all the anger and confusion he felt flow through him, quivering with the emotion he bottled deep within him.
“I-I don’t know!” She looked scared but Woo Hyuk could care less, she meant nothing to him, in a world of white red does not belong.
“Get away for me.” He didn’t look at her again just shrank back into himself and stared out the window. He would never be the same again, Tony had taught him to colour the world with his feelings, her dress was red, red was anger. It did not belong in his cold world of pure snow and white blood.
Tony looked at the clock, it was almost Christmas day, would Woo Hyuk be gone by now? Would he have left already? Why was he even thinking this? It didn’t matter at all where in the world Woo Hyuk was. The point was that he wasn’t here with him. His own Christmas dinner sat on the table untouched; he had turned down his parent’s offer to visit them on the holidays. He had expected to spend a quiet Christmas with his white angel, and now he was alone. The shock made him hurt, the phantom pain of a limb already gone, wherever Woo Hyuk was now he was hurting.
The child who wanted anything but to be alone was alone thanks to him. He had hurt Woo Hyuk deeply and he knew it, the boy with the face of stone took off his mask and Tony showed him what love was. The boy who never loved a single person was taught by his teacher what romance was. And now he learned about the pain that came with deep love. How could he live knowing what he had put the younger boy through?
“What is love?” Tony asked the stillness around him, there was no answer, none, the almost still house did not answer him. The only answer he got was the faint echoes of cries of passion, the soft whispers of shared secrets, and the sound of smiles and the colour white.
He loved the colour white so dearly.
Woo Hyuk felt the chill long before his heart went numb, now his hands were numb too, and he hated it. He wanted to be warm; he moved silently through the crowd getting by the fire, there was no warmth to be found there. Not anywhere, nowhere he knew, but one place- and he couldn’t go there.
“What’s wrong you look pale,” A voice at his side distracted him from he thoughts, the person looked at him quizzically. He was tall, and his Japanese was deep and soothing, he didn’t look like he was prying, just curious.
“I always look like this,” Woo Hyuk replied easily.
“I’ve never seen someone with skin that pale.”
“Then you need to get out more.” Woo Hyuk didn’t feel like talking but this boy didn’t seem to be going away, he was also warming his hands by the fire in the middle of the room.
“Who are your parents? Only the important people get to be here tonight.”
“Him.” Woo Hyuk pointed faintly at a group of people, not really caring if the other could pick his father out of them.
“Oh,” His answer seemed more automatic then a thought. His deep eyes looked into the depth of the fire looking for answers to questions Woo Hyuk did not know. He wore a black suit and wore no colour on him other then a blue earring on his right ear. “Did he make you come tonight?”
“I suppose.” Not him.
“They do that don’t they?” His companion looked at the root of the fire, burning brightly warming too boys who did not want the heat. “Seem to think that they know what’s best and what’s right…”
“…” Woo Hyuk didn’t answer, he wasn’t really being spoke to anymore, and he felt him own interest in the conversation waning.
“They think that they know what love is. They love money, not me.” His voice was bitter but tinged with a faint hope; a secret that belonged to him. “Adults are so stupid, they didn’t find love so they gave up looking.” He looked up from the fire and down into Woo Hyuk’s eyes, there was understanding there. “You found love.” Is voice was low and deep keeping the pure words from falling on deaf ears and becoming defiled.
“I did.” Woo Hyuk felt the flower in his pocket dying.
“Christmas is for love, not for family, because adults don’t know what love is. They know what’s best.” Woo Hyuk looked at the taller man trying to think of something to say that would convey what he thought; what he felt about this all but his Japanese failed him. “What’s best is what they don’t believe in anymore.”
“Your heart.” Woo Hyuk said his voice edged with panic, he looked around the room, there was half an hour until the clock struck midnight, why was he here where there was no colour? He needed to go, he needed to at least know why, he needed to show Tony what love was and what he felt in his heart. Even if it was for the best he wasn’t going to let go so easily, only his pride and pain had kept him from this earlier, he was afraid of knowing Tony was right, but he was more afraid now of knowing that he was wrong, that they might never meet again. “Thank you,” He murmured in Korean before walking quickly to the doors leaving the tall boy to stare into the flames alone.
The flower was going to die, colour was fading from his grip, he was desperately afraid of living in a world of white and black.
His perception was limited to a mess of movement; there was the street moving by him. His feet pounding on the ground, dress shoes slipping in the slush slowed him down but since time creased to exist it didn’t matter he could have been moving at the speed of light and it wouldn’t be fast enough. Dirty water splashed on his pristine white clothing and dirtied it; and he kept on running.
It was too far and he was too cold for this, people didn’t notice him run by, he was in a different world then them. Like a white ghost fluttering by- you can feel it, but you can’t hold it. He was like a bird battling against the wind, it was trying to push him, it was the whispers of reason. Go back it cried out, go back and listen to what’s right, Woo Hyuk didn’t like listening- he didn’t want to listen to reason.
He couldn’t quite remember how much farther Tony’s house was, but he hoped it was soon. He was so tired, his legs felt like rubber and his chest was heaving, the cold air stung his chest, nose and mouth. And still he ran, he needed to get there and explain everything- tomorrow his father would be looking for him and he didn’t want to go. He needed to know that Tony was right, that he really did need to go, that it would be best for them both if they stopped this now- Woo Hyuk couldn’t see how this pain would ever be good for him.
The door was solid in front of him, after the mad dash from the party it was the first real thing he encountered. It was solid in front of him, and was like a slap from reality. The door was his boundary, beyond that was a world of colour and warmth; but it was a child’s world. Beyond that door the world was simple; made of dreams and happiness but it would be hard, that would be something that needed fighting for. Children need to be protected, but he wasn’t a child anymore and he could make his own decisions and he wasn’t an adult and true love lived in his mind.
Woo Hyuk pushed on the door and it opened, the house was silent and dark, he closed the door behind him. He locked it, and leaned his head back against it breathing hard, here he was and he wasn’t leaving until he got a straight answer. He wasn’t going to let go until there was a reason to; they would have to pry his cold fingers from around Tony.
With his breathing in check Woo Hyuk took off his ruined shoes, he was suddenly aware of how cold his skin felt. He was sweating but he was chilled, his hands were clumsy and he was dripping with melting show and slush; he looked a wreak in his previously white suit. Woo Hyuk moved silently though the house, he slipped out of his over coat and threw the wet garment on the couch.
Tony was in his bedroom, asleep in his bed. Woo Hyuk paused for a moment just watching Tony sleep. He just watched and thought, he was here and there was no turning back now but he needed a second to go over everything. He had been so thrown off balance by this whole affair and he needed a moment to just think.
He loved Tony. That was easy. Tony loved him. Woo Hyuk wasn’t stupid he knew that. But would anything be better from them being apart? Would anything be better if he listened to his father? Maybe he was being an ignorant child but he didn’t want to let go, and most of all he didn’t want to be alone.
“Tony…” Woo Hyuk spoke softly only to break the silence. Tony didn’t stir, and Woo Hyuk smiled, he looked so beautiful in his slumber. Tony was sleeping on his side curled slightly, unlike Woo Hyuk he wasn’t bony, there was substance to his body. A solid strength and weight; and he could see the outline of Tony’s trim body under the blanket. His eyes were closed in peace and his face looked slack; Woo Hyuk didn’t want to wake him. “Tonyah,” again he spoke softly, endearingly; everything about this sleeping man was precious to him. From the tips of his toes to his ears which stuck out from his head at in an odd way that was reminiscent of a monkey’s. Woo Hyuk let his eyes take in the sleeping figure and tried to memorize the lines of his body to absorb this moment into his heart, who knows if this could be the last?
Tony stirred the moment icy hands touched him, they were almost cold enough to burn, they sliced through his dreams and roused him from the land of Morpheus. Groaning softly he opened his eyes to look at what woke him, two hands lying on his shoulder where lifelessly cold, but the eyes that he found watching his were alive with desperation.
Somewhere a clock struck midnight and the Christmas bells filled the night.
“Hyukie?” Tony asked groggy from sleep and confused beyond normal boundaries, here was Woo Hyuk like a spirit born of his desire. The white clothing was a token of his innocence and his childhood, his pale skin like glass, and his pink lips were his sin. Tony blinked sleepy thoughts away trying to fully rouse himself; his mind was full of cotton and he couldn’t quite grasp what was wrong.
“Yes?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m spending Christmas with the one I love.” Woo Hyuk answered as if it were an obvious answer. Tony thought about this for a moment, before answering slowly.
“Shouldn’t you be with your family?”
“He won’t miss me. Not as much as I missed you.” Tony watched the young one’s serious expression, it was unlike Woo Hyuk to be this forward with him. Normally the other boy wouldn’t tell him anything unless he found it important to know; so Woo Hyuk needed to tell him this?
“You should be with your father.”
“No, he’s leaving in the morning; going to take me away.”
“Then you should go,” Tony say up in bed, it was chilly in his house and he resisted the urge to pull his blanket around himself, he needed the cold. It was hard to tell this to Woo Hyuk; he could see the actual thoughts swirling behind that fair face, little questions on the wings of devils flying around behind a glass façade.
“I don’t want too.” Woo Hyuk looked him straight in the eyes, his face set in a mask of childish determination, he didn’t understand anything. Yet he was so willing to place everything on the line to come here; willing to place his future on the gamble of their love –willing to leave his fate in Tony’s hands, knowing that he wouldn’t be dropped. Tony didn’t know that, looking at Woo Hyuk and thinking about the powerful man that sired him and all that could go wrong he wasn’t sure he could care for and protect him, he didn’t know if he could still be a good teacher when Woo Hyuk meant more to him then anything else.
“You have to.”
“Why?” That was the question wasn’t it? “I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want to let go, I might just… fade without you with me.”
“…” Tony looked at the small boy, so slim and so delicate looking, such a creature would just fade away without him? Why does the white angel love him so? Why does the white angel make him love so? “Because… the future is to uncertain, and I don’t know if we can be together forever the way you want.”
“Forever can be made one day at a time, and tonight I want to stay here, with you.” Woo Hyuk stared straight at Tony if he looked away, he might loose hope and break. It was important to show Tony that he needed a reason to leave him behind; he needed something more then vague doubts to drive him away.
“Christmas is for being with the people you love no?” Tony asked, it was clear that Woo Hyuk had his mind made up and wasn’t about to leave him alone. He didn’t want Woo Hyuk to leave, it had been a painful three days when he knew that he had hurt and rejected the younger boy. Why leave when they could at least pretend this was a safe place for tonight anyways? In the morning there would be hell to pay, but for tonight they could make forever… one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
“It is.”
“I love you,” Tony said it, the words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, a strand of colourful sound, wrapping around the white boy and pulling him close. Woo Hyuk knelt on the bed making it dip under his weight, he smiled a small smile.
“I love you too.”
Woo Hyuk kissed the older man softly at first feeling the heat of Tony’s lips through his entire body. It was like velvet against his own wind-parched lips, and he could feel Tony smiling into the kiss. Woo Hyuk moved closer, Tony leaned back letting Woo Hyuk crawl fully onto the bed without breaking their lip lock. Tony’s tongue darted out to touch soft lips, a small pink tongue briefly pressed against his own and the kiss was over, Woo Hyuk leaning back to sit on his feet and Tony who was still comfortably reclining in his bed.
“I’m sorry,” Tony said looking at the angel that sat on his bed, the boy gave him a level look.
“I’m not.” There was a slightly sad smile; “I never knew how much it would hurt to miss you until you were gone.”
“You’re only a child, you couldn’t know.”
“I’m learning.” Woo Hyuk nodded, a small pause, “I’m not a child though, I know what I want, and I know who I love.” He smiled again this time more sure of himself, “I love you Tony An.”
“You are, you’ll make a wonderful man Woo Hyuk.”
“I never want to grow up.” Woo Hyuk said softly causing Tony to give him an odd look, wasn’t he already too old to say things like that? “Someone told me that adults don’t believe in love anymore.”
“Only the adults that never found it.” Tony’s answer was instant and Woo Hyuk looked at him for a moment before accepting this answer and cutting off further conversation with another kiss. It progressed much quicker this time, tongues meeting instantly to twine together sweetly in a well-remembered embrace. Both people had their eyes closed when the kiss broke, so completely immersed in the feeling that the room around them ceased to exist.
“I found you.” Woo Hyuk said in a breathless whisper, Tony smiled at him,
“You did, and you never let me go,”
“And I never will.” The confidence of a child is boundless.
Woo Hyuk sat back again and quickly began to remove the buttons on his shirt trying to be rid of it. Tony watched him passively, the smooth skin of the small youth’s chest was unblemished by mark and it was a sight to behold. He was thin, Tony always wondered how he ate that much and remained like that, his collarbone stood out, and his breast was like a milk white drum, skin pulled taught over bone. His arms were thin, and looked like the skeletal remains of the wings of a bird- delicate bones. Tony quickly pulled the thin shirt he wore over his head, never once taking his eyes from the other on the bed, lest he vanish into the very air that gave him.
Pants followed next, discarded as easily as all other clothing, exposure was the goal and Woo Hyuk tore at his pants trying to get them off as quickly as possible. Socks were taken off with underwear and he looked up to find Tony looking at him when he was done. Fine in his nakedness he smiled at the older man; he crawled forward so he was closer to the heat given off by the covered one. He was still cold.
“Merry Christmas,” Woo Hyuk said softly, his lips brushing feather light over Tony’s as he hovered above the other on his hands and knees.
“Merry Christmas.” Tony leaned forward and caught sweet pink lips with his own savouring the taste. His arms came up to wrap around narrow shoulders and pull him closer, never one breaking the sweet kiss. Tongues met in a practiced dance; saliva making it slick and warm. Woo Hyuk had his eyes closed, black lashes contrasting against his skin, Tony had his eyes half lidded and he was lost in the haze of the sweet kiss and the colour white.
Lips parted with a slightly wet noise and Woo Hyuk panted softly, he leaned his face forward and nuzzled Tony’s warm cheek with his own cooler one. He nipped one of the older man’s ear, white teeth teasing the skin.
“Hyukya…” Tony said breathlessly, his arms were around the other man, holding him as close as he could without having the small boy collapsing on him. “Lets not waste time tonight.”
“We’ve wasted enough time haven’t we?” Woo Hyuk answered, he was nipping his way down Tony’s jaw to his throat, his progressed marked with the small sharp stings; intertwined with the feeling if wet tongue on his heating skin.
“Yes, yes we have,” Tony let his head fall back and moved his hand to twine in Woo Hyuk’s damp blond hair holding his head. Woo Hyuk continued his trail lower and lower, holding himself up with one arm and pulling the blanket down as he scooted back to hover over Tony’s prone legs. Tony let out a small moan of encouragement when he felt hot tongue tracing his abdomen, he sat up and kissed the top of Woo Hyuk’s head before falling back and letting the younger boy do as he pleased.
Woo Hyuk undid the tie to Tony’s pyjama pants with one hand while holding his weight with the other, again using that hand he tugged at the material. Tony lifted his hips as much he could to allow the boy to slide his pants as far down as he could push them.
Tony arched his back and let out a breathy sigh as he felt hot breath float across his sensitive skin. Woo Hyuk stopped for a moment and sat bock on his knees, Tony looked at him, and smiled. Woo Hyuk returned the smile with his own smile; this was where he was happy. This was their world and he made the rules here.
“Hyukya” Tony wailed; there was heat around him and it felt so divine. Woo Hyuk’s mouth wrapped around him so perfectly it was like he was submerged in liquid oil, warm and all around him. He felt one hand on his hips to stop any possible movement white the other cupped whatever didn’t fit in his mouth. Tony snarled his hands in Woo Hyuk’s hair trying not to pull even as pleasure careened through his body.
Woo Hyuk listened to his name called out in pleasure; Tony’s voice was deep and filled with lust- it was like music to him, full of colour and life. He moved his tongue around the object in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the end; it was bitter and slightly salty; it was a taste that belonged to Tony and Tony alone. He relished in the taste and sound, the feeling of Tony’s soft tanned skin under his fingers. The smell of Tony all around him invading his mind and his body filling him, his eyes were closed but he could see colour; so much colour filling his senses.
“Hyukie…” Tony said, he pulled on the boy’s hair to get his attention; Woo Hyuk let Tony’s erection slip from his mouth and looked up the length of the older man to meet his eyes. There was a moment and Woo Hyuk smiled at him again, he bent his head and kissed the tip of the pillar of flesh in front of him.
“Yes?” Tony watched him and felt the longing inside him grow like never before. He wanted his white angel, and he wanted him now; almost losing him had been trying and now he was ready to apologize for all that he had made Woo Hyuk feel.
“I want you now.” Tony said softly, Hyukie smiled softly at him; he crawled up Tony and kissed him again. Lips met in an almost violent kiss, violently sweet, filled with love, passion and desperation- all the feelings possibly between. Woo Hyuk wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, while one of Tony’s arms held the younger man around narrow waist, the other reached for a table to the side of his bed. Fumbling blindly for something he knew was there; once his hand caught it he smiled into the kiss.
Woo Hyuk broke the kiss when a low moan broke past his lips and he felt a shudder pass through is body. Tony’s hands brushed over his bottom, feathering touches along the smooth skin; delving here and there to tease lightly. He rested his forehead against Tony’s shoulder and arched his body subtlety to the warm touches. Tony smiled and turned his face to the side to press a small kiss to Woo Hyuk’s hair. With both hands unseen he popped the cap off the small tube and spread the chilly contents all over his fingers. With slick hands he gripped the smaller man’s cheeks in his hand and probed around with one slick finger.
Woo Hyuk let out a breath as the first digit sunk into his body, he was sure to keep his breathing even and his body relaxed. He didn’t move, letting Tony prepare him, instead he closed his eyes and concentrated simply on feeling, Tony under him, Tony in him, Tony, Tony, Tony. All he can feel is Tony. In moments like this it was easy to believe all he would ever feel is Tony, never the feeling of sun on his skin, or of water lapping against his feet, pulling him to the sea. All he could feel was Tony.
The second was added and Tony felt the other boy twitch but he didn’t move and Tony had to press another quick kiss to fragrant hair.
“You’re doing good,” he spread his fingers a little stretching and loosening what he could to make this as painless as possible. Woo Hyuk let out a breath that fanned his chest and he smiled; his white angel.
“Tony…” the voice was shaky, and uneven, ending in almost a yelp.
“Almost.” Tony pulled his hands away with one final caress. “Ready?”
“Always,” he couldn’t see the amused lift of pink lips but he could feel it in the deep voice.
“Here,” Woo Hyuk sat back and took the offered tube from Tony’s hands, he sat on Tony’s thighs, resting on his own on either side. Woo Hyuk spread enough to slick his long hands and gently and lightly touched Tony’s erection. Tony let out a small hiss and Woo Hyuk grasped it again, this time for fully, giving a few tugs to thoroughly coat the organ he sat back again.
“Ready?” He asked this time bouncing the question back at the older man.
“Always.” Tony said without hesitation that brought a sweet smile to both faces, lust was mixed with the lighter feeling of love; this wasn’t the desperate kind of love that consumed like flame. Not like their first time that had been more about animalistic desire then any form of emotion, desire is an emotion- the most dangerous kind.
Tony pushed Woo Hyuk back so that he was lying back across his legs, there was much shifting of long limbs, pale skin sliding against tanned skin and melding into one being. Woo Hyuk was on his back with his legs spread out to either side, he was looking at Tony who was sitting between his legs and looking down at him, one hand on either thigh keeping them spread.
There was a moment that was filled with all the said and unsaid things, fears, desires, secrets and truths. It passed in the span of a heartbeat; filling their bubble with essence of them; not one not the other but a shared existence. Then there was movement slow and purposeful, guided and knowing. There was the sharp intake of breath from the statue-still boy and a long exhale from the one in motion.
Then it was like a movie going from slow motion to fast; the glitch was gone and film started moving at regular speed again, the sordid story line playing out in sensual technicolor. The actors fell into their roles playing the destined lovers to perfection; the first cry was from the younger unable to hold the sound back any longer.
Woo Hyuk’s world was motion, colour, pleasure and the mixture of everything- Tony. He could feel Tony above him and in him, the heat from his skin was mesmerizing and he felt almost drunk on it. There was slick skin under his hands and he was gripping Tony’s arms, he could feel sweat forming all over his body making him feel the warmth in his own body too.
Tony was moving at a steady pace feeling the friction run along erection and all the way up his spine to the wiring in his brain. The pleasure collected there craving for more. Moving his hips faster and faster as he heard himself moan out his student’s name. There was his white angel under him, eyes half lidded and darkened with pleasure; his skin was flushed with passion and his forehead was slick with sweat. The mixed sounds of their lovemaking filled the enclosed room, bouncing off the walls and collecting in a sort of pressure, matching the building intensity of the two boy’s movements.
It seemed they could go on forever this way, bodies moving against each other; one motion felt by the other, reflected back. It was like one machine each part necessary to finish its task, not one gear less or one gear more. The goal was pleasure, and they set themselves to it, moaning and gasping.
Woo Hyuk could have been crying, it could have been Tony’s tears falling on him, or his sweat, the emotion was so strong between them he couldn’t remember were he ended and Tony began. It was almost scary the depth of his heart, but he had asked for this, he had come searching for it, because surely if this were gone there would be nothing left. Life was nothing without this passion to colour it in, there was no picture with only the black on white lines.
Tony felt the pressure building in him; the kettle was about to scream. His movements became faster and faster harder and harder, he shifted him hands so that he was pulling Woo Hyuk back against him. The younger male was crying out with the rhythm of their sex, the pulse of his heart and the matching beat of Tony’s. Tony didn’t even notice the noises pouring from his own full lips, the nonsensical promises, declarations, and praises. He leaned over his thrusts become shallow in an attempt to stave off oncoming orgasm, and pressed his lips against Woo Hyuk’s parted ones. They kissed sloppily and hurriedly as Tony continued to shift his hips as much as he could; gaining the most friction for both of them in their compromised position.
“Tonyah,” Woo Hyuk moaned breathless, Tony answered his call with a broken version of the student’s name. The pleasure was rising and reaching a sort of peak; Tony could feel it starting to wash over him like the tide, inevitable and unstoppable. His thrusts became deeper and harder, rocking the thin body fast and more roughly, Woo Hyuk pressed his eyes closed feeling the tug within his body that signalled the end.
When they came it was like a white wave, coating them with its massive body. It was the purest white; flawless and blanketing. And it screamed with brilliant colour.
Two males tangled in one sweaty mass of flesh and bone, and blood. Breathing heavily, hearts beating with each other, racing off to the distant future. Woo Hyuk had his eyes shut tight feeling the afterglow after such a powerful orgasm, Tony rested on top of the other man, his hair plastered to his head by sweat. He shifted and gathered the strength to roll off the smaller man, Woo Hyuk rolled with him keeping the skin to skin contact trying to preserve the heat for as long as he could.
“Tonyah?” Woo Hyuk asked as the echoes of their activities diffused through the walls; lost to the night outside.
“Yes?” Tony rolled to look at the younger boy, his skin was still flushed and he looked almost real.
“I’m not letting go.” He said it firmly almost to himself- this was the right choice. “I love you too much, I might die.”
“…” Tony looked at him for a long moment, watching the expression of the younger male. “I love you too. I won’t let you leave again.”
“Not tonight, Christmas is for spending time with the ones you love.” Woo Hyuk said at last with a finalizing tone in his voice. This was where it was warm. This was where the colour to his white was. This was where he was happy. This was where he was going to stay.
Pairing: Tony/Woo Hyuk
Title: Christmas Children
Rating: NC-17
Chapters: 3
Summary:AU Woo Hyuk is a student from Korea going to a private school in Japan, he fell in love with his teacher and they started a secret relationship. As Christmas time rolls around Woo Hyuk's father wants him to return to Korea, Woo Hyuk doesn't want to leave Tony. Fighting against his father to stay, and the world for his hidden relationship, mostly fighting himself to find the true meaning of his love.
Woo Hyuk looked at his father; who looked only at his morning paper. His gaze was chilling; almond eyes staring intently at his father, anger smouldering in deep brown depths.
“What?” He responded, there was a certain element of what he didn’t want to believe in what he thought his father said.
“I want you to come with me to the Christmas party,” His father said smoothly; he didn’t bother to put the paper down while talking to his only son. He could feel the cold look settled on him but didn’t bother to register it; Woo Hyuk was only a child and his opinion didn’t matter.
“And after that.” Woo Hyuk forced his voice out, it was level; only coloured with the barest hint of hostility and none of the pain echoing around in him.
“We are going to go meet the principal of the boarding school I’m transferring you too.”
“Why?” Woo Hyuk felt like the little pieces in him were shattering, each one killing a small piece of him.
“It has a good reputation.” His father flipped the page absently ignoring his son’s subtle anger.
“The school I’m going to is fine,”
“I thought you hated it.”
“… No … I don’t,” Woo Hyuk paused here -he did hate his school. He had hated this entire country, but that was before.
Before Tony.
Now his life is full of colour; it has substance; it has more meaning. It was like he had stepped out of a two dimensional picture into a three dimension world. He had been so lost and so alone, lost in his own mind, and so desperately lonely. Tony had held him, showed him the way and kissed away his fears; and now he wanted to leave so soon? Just the shadow of the imagined pain from the transfer ate at him, he did not want this.
“Wouldn’t you do better in a Korean school?”
“I’m learning! I’m doing fine in Japanese, and I can do better if you want.” Woo Hyuk was scared; he hated to admit that; but he was so scared right now. Scared that he would be torn away from his lover, his teacher.
“That’s not the point, I want you transferred to xx academy.”
“But I don’t want to go.” Woo Hyuk drew what he hoped was a steady breath; his father knew nothing of Tony, his father knew nothing of him.
“I think it would be good for you.” His father flipped another page; his indifference was normal but frustrating.
“Father…”
“I’m not arguing with you anymore about this, you fought me over the move to Japan and now you are fighting with me not to go back to Korea.” His father looked at him now, putting the paper down he looked straight at his son.
Woo Hyuk felt the words dry up within him, and the rage dwindle to replaced by a sort of hopelessness. ‘I want to stay by Tony,’ Woo Hyuk glared as hard as he could ‘But you can’t know that’ and he stormed out of the house.
The wind was cold and there was snow on the ground, it was late December. Dangerously close to Christmas, one could see by all the normal signs, literal and figurative. Stores displayed large poster declaring that you could get all your holiday shopping done in one place, each bigger, or more flashy then the others; vying for costumers. There was a sort of infused warmth in the air that was undeniably the essence of Christmas spirit.
Woo Hyuk battled the wind with a trendy brown coat that was ill equipped for this weather having been made with autumn in mind. His jean-clad legs were frozen with the cold wind’s icy fingers, his fingers numb from the cold. He wore a hat pulled over his dark blond hair and it offered little protection against the biting winter cold. Christmas was an enchanting time, when you were dressed for it.
His anger was a flame burning in him, his desperation driving him to face the chill -to press on. It wasn’t too far; it would have been better if he had grabbed his wallet so he could take the train. It wasn’t too far.
He needed to see him, he needed to talk to Tony, there had to be a way, and he needed somewhere where he could think. He needed to get to his comfort zone; he needed the familiar warmth of his teacher’s apartment, the familiar arms around him. It would have been closer to walk to Hee Jun’s house and call Tony for a ride, but logic had no place when love was in jeopardy.
~~
Tony was watching television when the knock on his door was heard; he looked at the clock revealing it was still rather early in the morning. Standing he reached the door wondering the entire time who it could be. He was expecting no one, and who would drop by uninvited?
“Hyukya?!” Tony gasped when he discovered the boy standing in his hallway. Woo Hyuk looked very very cold; his normally pale face was whitened a little more, except for the violent red colour blooming in his cheeks and the end of his nose. In the few seconds that passed between them Tony noted that Woo Hyuk’s body trembled, the cold drawing tremors out of him. “You look frozen to death!”
“Cold does that,” the student answered, his teeth chattered together and Tony pulled him into his apartment shutting the door behind him. Shutting the outside world off from them, keeping their happiness contained in their own little bubble.
“What were you doing out in the cold with only this?” Tony looked alarmed at how pale Woo Hyuk looked, he pulled the coat off the young man and pulled him into his living room. Sitting Woo Hyuk down on the couch he rushed off to his room to grab a blanket.
“…I was walking here.” Woo Hyuk answered when Tony got back with the blanket. He looked away from Tony, and out the window, the tall buildings crowded around all he could see, their sleekness reminding him of his father; and his father’s wishes.
“Why would you do such a silly thing,” Tony asked, he pulled off Woo Hyuk’s shoes for him, knowing that the teen was capable of doing it himself.
“To see you.” Woo Hyuk answered simply, Tony looked up at him, deep eyes meeting with the stony eyes of the other youth, he had thought that he had melted that ice long ago.
“You could have called,” Tony said he put Woo Hyuk’s boots aside and sat on the couch, he pulled the younger man against himself. His student’s skin was like ice when it touched his; he flinched but remained in contact none the less. Woo Hyuk leaned against him soaking up the other man’s body heat as the blanket was wrapped around them both.
Their bubble became smaller, the apartment wasn’t important; the heat of their combined bodies, the barrier formed by the blanket. Two worlds narrowed down to one existence; to one small point in time, one shared warmth.
That evening Woo Hyuk cooked dinner, Tony was marking some papers in the living room, and he was completely immersed in his task. Woo Hyuk looked around Tony’s mostly tidy kitchen and smiled sadly, he didn’t want to have to leave this place, he didn’t want to have to be cold. Tony’s apartment was where Woo Hyuk felt most comfortable; he knew this place well. Just like he knew how to cook Tony a meal he would like, just like he knew how to breathe. It was all so natural- this place was natural. Woo Hyuk realized how much this meant to him, this impossible relationship. It was his love, and he didn’t want to leave it, Tony was important to him, he just might fall apart without him.
“Tony,” Woo Hyuk said softly, he was sitting on the couch, Tony had his head resting on his lap and Woo Hyuk would run his fingers though Tony’s soft hair.
“Hmm?” Tony was watching the television, the feeling of Woo Hyuk’s cold hands through his hair was lulling and he was on the verge of sleep.
“I need to tell you something.” Woo Hyuk took a deep breath, it was hard for him to say, but he knew Tony would be on his side. Together they would figure something out, they would find a way to beat back the world that wanted in; they would keep their happiness.
“What is it Hyukie?” Tony asked, he could feel the tension that wound through the other’s thin body.
“My father, he wants me to transfer schools again,” Woo Hyuk’s voice wavered slightly despite all that he put into keeping his face impassive.
“So soon?!” Tony said, he sat up and turned to look at his younger lover. He knew that this would have happened eventually; pure love never lasts.
“After Christmas, I’m to be going to a boarding school in Korea.” Woo Hyuk met his eyes; his icy stare barely hid the desperate child there.
“For sure?” Tony looked at Woo Hyuk’s face, the fear he tried to hide. He smiled slightly, cupping the other’s cheek with his hand, he tried to keep is voice as even as possible.
“That’s what he wants.” Woo Hyuk answered sadly,
“We’ll think of something.” Tony said and Woo Hyuk gave him the smallest of smiles.
“We will.” Woo Hyuk’s voice was firm trying to draw on his strength when he felt so scared. Scared all the colour would leave his life again, that he would be forced back into the picture; only to do the same thing day in and day out, and never feel this warmth and this love again.
“How about sleep now, we can talk more in the morning?” Tony asked, Woo Hyuk nodded at him, his pale face shining in the light, a vision of an angel.
Tony lay awake long into the night, Woo Hyuk slept peacefully beside him, his skin blending into the white sheets; Tony was worried he would loose that boy in his bed. The sheets would, like the endless ocean, swallow him up and Tony would never see those heartbreaking eyes again, and kiss those pink lips.
Maybe it would be for the better is he were to leave, better for both of them if this forbidden fruit were cut form the tree before they ate to much. Pure love never lasts, and Tony knew that; he had much more experience in life, and thought maybe it would be better if Woo Hyuk left. It would hurt, god it would hurt so much, like cutting off your own hand, but if it needs to be done so that they might both survive. He would need to be the one to cut it, Woo Hyuk was only a child still and he didn’t understand what needed to be done and why. It would be so hard to explain to Woo Hyuk why he was doing this. Would Woo Hyuk believe he still loved him? Can you love someone and push them away at the same time?
Tony was going to try.
It needed to be done, Woo Hyuk needed to be set free, he may have thought he knew what love was, he may of said ‘I’ll die without you’ but he didn’t know life or death. And he didn’t know love. Love can only be learned by the lack of. Hadn’t Woo Hyuk been left alone in his life long enough all ready? It would hurt.
It would hurt so much but it was the only thing that Tony could think of to do. Their relationship was wrong to begin with, and should have never happened, Tony was a fool to have let it go on so long. He could see that now, oh how clear hindsight was. Looking at Woo Hyuk’s sleeping figure Tony watched how his pale skin blended with the bedding so easily, how easy it was to love the white angel.
It would hurt. Like cutting out your own heart.
The next morning, Tony was out of bed before Woo Hyuk woke up. This was the first time that he had ever woken up alone in Tony’s bed, the first time he had not awoken to his teacher’s bright smile. He didn’t notice, there was the sound of food cooking in the kitchen and Woo Hyuk moved towards that, he smiled and watched the older man move around the kitchen. There was a certain briskness to his movements that Woo Hyuk failed to notice; when Tony looked at him he smiled at the older man, all worry was driven from his mind, they would think of something, then they would be together.
“Good Morning Hyukya,” Tony said, he had spent most the night awake and thinking about his younger lover. He had thought about how he would break the news to him; how he would explain it to him. How to best break his heart.
“Morning Tony,” Woo Hyuk looked at him, his clothing was hastily pulled on and his eyes were soft; Tony felt his heart constrict, he didn’t suspect a thing.
Just a child.
“Sleep well?” Tony asked, he got a nod from the other boy; Tony served the food and they sat down at the table in his living room. “I was thinking…” Tony began, his voice sounded casual, Woo Hyuk looked up, he expected something; he expected Tony to have all the answers. He did, just not the ones he wanted.
“Did you figure out anything?” Woo Hyuk smiled, “I was thinking too, if I asked Yoshiki I’m sure that he could convince my father that switching schools so soon would be bad for me…”
“No Hyukya…” Tony’s throat locked up, in his eyes he pictured pained eyes and pushed on anyways. “I think… I think you should listen to your father.”
“What?” There was a visible change in Woo Hyuk’s face and in the way he sat. A familiar stone expression fell over his sharp features, a hardness in his jaw that spoke of inner pain.
“I think that you should go back to Korea,” Tony tried to meet Woo Hyuk’s cold eyes but failed. “It would be better for you and for me.”
“What do you mean?” Woo Hyuk’s voice was like a breeze of frigid air, and Tony had trouble remembering his well thought out points.
“You could focus on your studies better…” Tony knew the point fell short but he couldn’t explain his heart to the other boy.
“…I understand.” Tony desperately wanted to tell Woo Hyuk that no he didn’t. The younger youth did not deal with pain well and Tony could only imagine all that went on in his mind right now. “I’ll be going now.” Woo Hyuk stood and Tony felt powerless to stop him. Grabbing his coat Woo Hyuk stormed out of the house, Tony stared at his food after the younger left. He did not feel like eating right now.
It was cold, so very cold.
Woo Hyuk spent the first day after Tony’s house in his room, it was cold. When he got home his father was not there, he turned the thermostat up and locked himself in his room. When the maid got home he heard her call out to him,
“Jang Woo Hyuk?” Or ‘Hyuku’ as she said- he hated that. “Why is it so warm in here?!” Her high voice echoing off the walls.
It wasn’t hot it was cold, she was just stupid.
He didn’t answer her; he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Hee Jun called, he didn’t answer that either. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, no one, not even Tony. Why had Tony said that? Why had he rejected him? Woo Hyuk felt lost, and that familiar coldness swept through him, numbing his heart. He never needed Tony before this, then why did it hurt so much to leave him?
Nothing in his mind could compare to the shattering he felt inside of him. Nothing in his short history could measure up, not even the pain and loneliness after he first came to Japan. If he could remember when his mom died that might work; but there was no measure to how much he missed Tony. The thought that Tony didn’t care about him was almost unbearable, but he survived before Tony why shouldn’t he survive after him?
The next day his father returned, Woo Hyuk was sitting in dining room, he was eating some noodles, his father sat across the table from him. There was a long silence that both chose to ignore; finally Woo Hyuk spoke.
“What was the name of that school?” Woo Hyuk asked, his voice seemed so far away, not his own.
“xx Academy,” his father looked at him, Woo Hyuk met those eyes, so emotionless; so like his own.
“What should I wear to the party?” Woo Hyuk asked, there was a layer of ice of his heart and he couldn’t feel the pain that shot through him. He didn’t need Tony if Tony didn’t need him.
“A suit would be nice,”
“Alright…”
It was going to be a cold Christmas…
Tony was alone, his apartment felt empty. Woo Hyuk was not in the kitchen making food; Woo Hyuk was not in the bedroom lost in his sheets. Woo Hyuk was not anywhere; not anywhere with him. It had been his choice to push him away; it had been for the better. But god did it hurt.
Tony looked at the pile of winter work he still had to mark, but he was not up to it. Woo Hyuk’s paper was somewhere in that pile, his handwriting. Tony didn’t want to look at that, remember graceful white hands that fluttered like birds over his body. He wanted Woo Hyuk back here with him, talking in his smooth deep voice; Tony bit his full bottom lip. He was only a child, this would be better for him, it had to be, if not he would have done this for nothing. Woo Hyuk was only a child, even only ten years older; Tony had to be the strong one, he needed to be the one to say this was bad, he was the teacher.
The phone ringing was shrill and caustic on his ears, shattering the almost calm that was left in Hyukya’s place. Tony briefly wondered who it was, lifting it to his ear a cheerfully concerned voice spoke to him.
“An-sensei?” it was Hee Jun.
“Yeah,” Tony was relieved that it wasn’t Woo Hyuk, he couldn’t tell him to leave twice.
“Sorry to bug you!” His cheerful voice spoke otherwise.
“Ask him already!” He heard someone call in the background; he identified it as Kang Ta.
“Right, right,” Hee Jun muttered, there was a laugh, a high pitched voice said something that he couldn’t understand, it might have been Ryohei. “Have you seen Hyukie?” Hee Jun’s voice called him back to his head. “He didn’t show up for dance today,”
“He didn’t?” Tony’s voice was masked, thickened with slight bit of emotion, how could he tell them that he wouldn’t be back. Should he tell them, should he let Woo Hyuk tell them? Should he just hang up now…?
“No, he didn’t.” There was another muffled burst of laughter that seemed like it was part of an entirely different world. Dancing was a place here there was happiness, this apartment had once been a place of happiness. “Hyukie never misses practice!”
“He’s a good boy…” Tony mumbled to himself.
“What did you say sensei?” Hee Jun asked,
“Nothing…” Tony shook is head, he needed to stop this; he needed to stop thinking about Jang Woo Hyuk. He needed to learn to stop loving. Maybe now Woo Hyuk would be his teacher?
“Have you seen him? Do you know where he is?”
“No I have no clue where he might be.” Tony lied; Woo Hyuk was in the cold, that’s where he was.
“Well I called his house; left a few messages too…” Hee Jun trailed off for a moment, one of the other dancers said something Tony didn’t catch. “Thanks An-sensei, I’ll talk to you later.”
“BAI BAI!!” There was a course from some of the other students, they sounded too happy, so far away.
The phone went dead in his hands without him saying good-bye. He didn’t need to; he would see them again, once school started and he had to watch over dance club practice, he would see them again. He never did say good-bye to Woo Hyuk.
The party was mellow, relaxing, all the things a party should be. Woo Hyuk stood in a quieter part of the room; this allowed him to watch as the world went by in front of him. Everything was in black and white again- he had lost his colour. His tuxedo fit nicely, the white spotless and the folds sharp, there was a single red flower pinned to his pocket. A splash of colour on the angel of white, to bad it was cut from the plant and would die shortly.
Woo Hyuk felt weak, mind and body; sleep was shallow and food bleak. Standing the corner, he had a glass of white wine in one hand and was looking intently at the snow falling beyond the glass. The outside world was awash in white; the large snow flakes danced and twirled on their suicidal ritual. The white was blotting out the colour, all awash in shades of grey, all but the red flower that was reflected in the window.
Red was the colour of blood, but there was no red blood in a world of white.
And white blood was not as romantic, but then the blood must be white for romance died when Tony told him to go. All was white and it seemed that all hope was lost. Happiness was a fresh memory, smiles and laughs. A life lived at a distance, had he not thrown himself enough into the mad love? Had there not been enough of him the typhoon of kisses?
Why had Tony told him to leave? It bothered him, almost as much as the empty feeling in his chest. Why? Why? Why? Why had he not stayed and asked Tony more, because it hurt, because he was afraid that Tony might be right. After all Tony was a teacher and teachers knew all. If Tony said that he had to go he should go, teacher knew best. But did Tony want him to die? This pain in his heart in his mind seemed like it was going to consume him and chew him up while he pretended it didn’t hurt.
“Hello,” Japanese voice and dismissed, a slight flick of deep eyes. “What are you doing all alone in this corner? Isn’t it cold by the window?” The chatter was like an endless stream and Woo Hyuk couldn’t quite block the sound out, her voice was to high and it grated on his nerves. It was not the voice he wanted to hear right now, Tony’s voice was low and soothing.
“What do you want?!” Woo Hyuk snapped, his Japanese was clumsy and harsh, she recoiled, her party dress was red.
“I wanted to see if you wanted to dance,” a stutter that may have supposed to be cute, Woo Hyuk sneered at her, it was red.
“Why would I want to dance with you?” Harsh, intentionally so. She recoiled back father, heels clicking on the polished floor. Woo Hyuk let all the anger and confusion he felt flow through him, quivering with the emotion he bottled deep within him.
“I-I don’t know!” She looked scared but Woo Hyuk could care less, she meant nothing to him, in a world of white red does not belong.
“Get away for me.” He didn’t look at her again just shrank back into himself and stared out the window. He would never be the same again, Tony had taught him to colour the world with his feelings, her dress was red, red was anger. It did not belong in his cold world of pure snow and white blood.
Tony looked at the clock, it was almost Christmas day, would Woo Hyuk be gone by now? Would he have left already? Why was he even thinking this? It didn’t matter at all where in the world Woo Hyuk was. The point was that he wasn’t here with him. His own Christmas dinner sat on the table untouched; he had turned down his parent’s offer to visit them on the holidays. He had expected to spend a quiet Christmas with his white angel, and now he was alone. The shock made him hurt, the phantom pain of a limb already gone, wherever Woo Hyuk was now he was hurting.
The child who wanted anything but to be alone was alone thanks to him. He had hurt Woo Hyuk deeply and he knew it, the boy with the face of stone took off his mask and Tony showed him what love was. The boy who never loved a single person was taught by his teacher what romance was. And now he learned about the pain that came with deep love. How could he live knowing what he had put the younger boy through?
“What is love?” Tony asked the stillness around him, there was no answer, none, the almost still house did not answer him. The only answer he got was the faint echoes of cries of passion, the soft whispers of shared secrets, and the sound of smiles and the colour white.
He loved the colour white so dearly.
Woo Hyuk felt the chill long before his heart went numb, now his hands were numb too, and he hated it. He wanted to be warm; he moved silently through the crowd getting by the fire, there was no warmth to be found there. Not anywhere, nowhere he knew, but one place- and he couldn’t go there.
“What’s wrong you look pale,” A voice at his side distracted him from he thoughts, the person looked at him quizzically. He was tall, and his Japanese was deep and soothing, he didn’t look like he was prying, just curious.
“I always look like this,” Woo Hyuk replied easily.
“I’ve never seen someone with skin that pale.”
“Then you need to get out more.” Woo Hyuk didn’t feel like talking but this boy didn’t seem to be going away, he was also warming his hands by the fire in the middle of the room.
“Who are your parents? Only the important people get to be here tonight.”
“Him.” Woo Hyuk pointed faintly at a group of people, not really caring if the other could pick his father out of them.
“Oh,” His answer seemed more automatic then a thought. His deep eyes looked into the depth of the fire looking for answers to questions Woo Hyuk did not know. He wore a black suit and wore no colour on him other then a blue earring on his right ear. “Did he make you come tonight?”
“I suppose.” Not him.
“They do that don’t they?” His companion looked at the root of the fire, burning brightly warming too boys who did not want the heat. “Seem to think that they know what’s best and what’s right…”
“…” Woo Hyuk didn’t answer, he wasn’t really being spoke to anymore, and he felt him own interest in the conversation waning.
“They think that they know what love is. They love money, not me.” His voice was bitter but tinged with a faint hope; a secret that belonged to him. “Adults are so stupid, they didn’t find love so they gave up looking.” He looked up from the fire and down into Woo Hyuk’s eyes, there was understanding there. “You found love.” Is voice was low and deep keeping the pure words from falling on deaf ears and becoming defiled.
“I did.” Woo Hyuk felt the flower in his pocket dying.
“Christmas is for love, not for family, because adults don’t know what love is. They know what’s best.” Woo Hyuk looked at the taller man trying to think of something to say that would convey what he thought; what he felt about this all but his Japanese failed him. “What’s best is what they don’t believe in anymore.”
“Your heart.” Woo Hyuk said his voice edged with panic, he looked around the room, there was half an hour until the clock struck midnight, why was he here where there was no colour? He needed to go, he needed to at least know why, he needed to show Tony what love was and what he felt in his heart. Even if it was for the best he wasn’t going to let go so easily, only his pride and pain had kept him from this earlier, he was afraid of knowing Tony was right, but he was more afraid now of knowing that he was wrong, that they might never meet again. “Thank you,” He murmured in Korean before walking quickly to the doors leaving the tall boy to stare into the flames alone.
The flower was going to die, colour was fading from his grip, he was desperately afraid of living in a world of white and black.
His perception was limited to a mess of movement; there was the street moving by him. His feet pounding on the ground, dress shoes slipping in the slush slowed him down but since time creased to exist it didn’t matter he could have been moving at the speed of light and it wouldn’t be fast enough. Dirty water splashed on his pristine white clothing and dirtied it; and he kept on running.
It was too far and he was too cold for this, people didn’t notice him run by, he was in a different world then them. Like a white ghost fluttering by- you can feel it, but you can’t hold it. He was like a bird battling against the wind, it was trying to push him, it was the whispers of reason. Go back it cried out, go back and listen to what’s right, Woo Hyuk didn’t like listening- he didn’t want to listen to reason.
He couldn’t quite remember how much farther Tony’s house was, but he hoped it was soon. He was so tired, his legs felt like rubber and his chest was heaving, the cold air stung his chest, nose and mouth. And still he ran, he needed to get there and explain everything- tomorrow his father would be looking for him and he didn’t want to go. He needed to know that Tony was right, that he really did need to go, that it would be best for them both if they stopped this now- Woo Hyuk couldn’t see how this pain would ever be good for him.
The door was solid in front of him, after the mad dash from the party it was the first real thing he encountered. It was solid in front of him, and was like a slap from reality. The door was his boundary, beyond that was a world of colour and warmth; but it was a child’s world. Beyond that door the world was simple; made of dreams and happiness but it would be hard, that would be something that needed fighting for. Children need to be protected, but he wasn’t a child anymore and he could make his own decisions and he wasn’t an adult and true love lived in his mind.
Woo Hyuk pushed on the door and it opened, the house was silent and dark, he closed the door behind him. He locked it, and leaned his head back against it breathing hard, here he was and he wasn’t leaving until he got a straight answer. He wasn’t going to let go until there was a reason to; they would have to pry his cold fingers from around Tony.
With his breathing in check Woo Hyuk took off his ruined shoes, he was suddenly aware of how cold his skin felt. He was sweating but he was chilled, his hands were clumsy and he was dripping with melting show and slush; he looked a wreak in his previously white suit. Woo Hyuk moved silently though the house, he slipped out of his over coat and threw the wet garment on the couch.
Tony was in his bedroom, asleep in his bed. Woo Hyuk paused for a moment just watching Tony sleep. He just watched and thought, he was here and there was no turning back now but he needed a second to go over everything. He had been so thrown off balance by this whole affair and he needed a moment to just think.
He loved Tony. That was easy. Tony loved him. Woo Hyuk wasn’t stupid he knew that. But would anything be better from them being apart? Would anything be better if he listened to his father? Maybe he was being an ignorant child but he didn’t want to let go, and most of all he didn’t want to be alone.
“Tony…” Woo Hyuk spoke softly only to break the silence. Tony didn’t stir, and Woo Hyuk smiled, he looked so beautiful in his slumber. Tony was sleeping on his side curled slightly, unlike Woo Hyuk he wasn’t bony, there was substance to his body. A solid strength and weight; and he could see the outline of Tony’s trim body under the blanket. His eyes were closed in peace and his face looked slack; Woo Hyuk didn’t want to wake him. “Tonyah,” again he spoke softly, endearingly; everything about this sleeping man was precious to him. From the tips of his toes to his ears which stuck out from his head at in an odd way that was reminiscent of a monkey’s. Woo Hyuk let his eyes take in the sleeping figure and tried to memorize the lines of his body to absorb this moment into his heart, who knows if this could be the last?
Tony stirred the moment icy hands touched him, they were almost cold enough to burn, they sliced through his dreams and roused him from the land of Morpheus. Groaning softly he opened his eyes to look at what woke him, two hands lying on his shoulder where lifelessly cold, but the eyes that he found watching his were alive with desperation.
Somewhere a clock struck midnight and the Christmas bells filled the night.
“Hyukie?” Tony asked groggy from sleep and confused beyond normal boundaries, here was Woo Hyuk like a spirit born of his desire. The white clothing was a token of his innocence and his childhood, his pale skin like glass, and his pink lips were his sin. Tony blinked sleepy thoughts away trying to fully rouse himself; his mind was full of cotton and he couldn’t quite grasp what was wrong.
“Yes?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m spending Christmas with the one I love.” Woo Hyuk answered as if it were an obvious answer. Tony thought about this for a moment, before answering slowly.
“Shouldn’t you be with your family?”
“He won’t miss me. Not as much as I missed you.” Tony watched the young one’s serious expression, it was unlike Woo Hyuk to be this forward with him. Normally the other boy wouldn’t tell him anything unless he found it important to know; so Woo Hyuk needed to tell him this?
“You should be with your father.”
“No, he’s leaving in the morning; going to take me away.”
“Then you should go,” Tony say up in bed, it was chilly in his house and he resisted the urge to pull his blanket around himself, he needed the cold. It was hard to tell this to Woo Hyuk; he could see the actual thoughts swirling behind that fair face, little questions on the wings of devils flying around behind a glass façade.
“I don’t want too.” Woo Hyuk looked him straight in the eyes, his face set in a mask of childish determination, he didn’t understand anything. Yet he was so willing to place everything on the line to come here; willing to place his future on the gamble of their love –willing to leave his fate in Tony’s hands, knowing that he wouldn’t be dropped. Tony didn’t know that, looking at Woo Hyuk and thinking about the powerful man that sired him and all that could go wrong he wasn’t sure he could care for and protect him, he didn’t know if he could still be a good teacher when Woo Hyuk meant more to him then anything else.
“You have to.”
“Why?” That was the question wasn’t it? “I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want to let go, I might just… fade without you with me.”
“…” Tony looked at the small boy, so slim and so delicate looking, such a creature would just fade away without him? Why does the white angel love him so? Why does the white angel make him love so? “Because… the future is to uncertain, and I don’t know if we can be together forever the way you want.”
“Forever can be made one day at a time, and tonight I want to stay here, with you.” Woo Hyuk stared straight at Tony if he looked away, he might loose hope and break. It was important to show Tony that he needed a reason to leave him behind; he needed something more then vague doubts to drive him away.
“Christmas is for being with the people you love no?” Tony asked, it was clear that Woo Hyuk had his mind made up and wasn’t about to leave him alone. He didn’t want Woo Hyuk to leave, it had been a painful three days when he knew that he had hurt and rejected the younger boy. Why leave when they could at least pretend this was a safe place for tonight anyways? In the morning there would be hell to pay, but for tonight they could make forever… one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
“It is.”
“I love you,” Tony said it, the words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, a strand of colourful sound, wrapping around the white boy and pulling him close. Woo Hyuk knelt on the bed making it dip under his weight, he smiled a small smile.
“I love you too.”
Woo Hyuk kissed the older man softly at first feeling the heat of Tony’s lips through his entire body. It was like velvet against his own wind-parched lips, and he could feel Tony smiling into the kiss. Woo Hyuk moved closer, Tony leaned back letting Woo Hyuk crawl fully onto the bed without breaking their lip lock. Tony’s tongue darted out to touch soft lips, a small pink tongue briefly pressed against his own and the kiss was over, Woo Hyuk leaning back to sit on his feet and Tony who was still comfortably reclining in his bed.
“I’m sorry,” Tony said looking at the angel that sat on his bed, the boy gave him a level look.
“I’m not.” There was a slightly sad smile; “I never knew how much it would hurt to miss you until you were gone.”
“You’re only a child, you couldn’t know.”
“I’m learning.” Woo Hyuk nodded, a small pause, “I’m not a child though, I know what I want, and I know who I love.” He smiled again this time more sure of himself, “I love you Tony An.”
“You are, you’ll make a wonderful man Woo Hyuk.”
“I never want to grow up.” Woo Hyuk said softly causing Tony to give him an odd look, wasn’t he already too old to say things like that? “Someone told me that adults don’t believe in love anymore.”
“Only the adults that never found it.” Tony’s answer was instant and Woo Hyuk looked at him for a moment before accepting this answer and cutting off further conversation with another kiss. It progressed much quicker this time, tongues meeting instantly to twine together sweetly in a well-remembered embrace. Both people had their eyes closed when the kiss broke, so completely immersed in the feeling that the room around them ceased to exist.
“I found you.” Woo Hyuk said in a breathless whisper, Tony smiled at him,
“You did, and you never let me go,”
“And I never will.” The confidence of a child is boundless.
Woo Hyuk sat back again and quickly began to remove the buttons on his shirt trying to be rid of it. Tony watched him passively, the smooth skin of the small youth’s chest was unblemished by mark and it was a sight to behold. He was thin, Tony always wondered how he ate that much and remained like that, his collarbone stood out, and his breast was like a milk white drum, skin pulled taught over bone. His arms were thin, and looked like the skeletal remains of the wings of a bird- delicate bones. Tony quickly pulled the thin shirt he wore over his head, never once taking his eyes from the other on the bed, lest he vanish into the very air that gave him.
Pants followed next, discarded as easily as all other clothing, exposure was the goal and Woo Hyuk tore at his pants trying to get them off as quickly as possible. Socks were taken off with underwear and he looked up to find Tony looking at him when he was done. Fine in his nakedness he smiled at the older man; he crawled forward so he was closer to the heat given off by the covered one. He was still cold.
“Merry Christmas,” Woo Hyuk said softly, his lips brushing feather light over Tony’s as he hovered above the other on his hands and knees.
“Merry Christmas.” Tony leaned forward and caught sweet pink lips with his own savouring the taste. His arms came up to wrap around narrow shoulders and pull him closer, never one breaking the sweet kiss. Tongues met in a practiced dance; saliva making it slick and warm. Woo Hyuk had his eyes closed, black lashes contrasting against his skin, Tony had his eyes half lidded and he was lost in the haze of the sweet kiss and the colour white.
Lips parted with a slightly wet noise and Woo Hyuk panted softly, he leaned his face forward and nuzzled Tony’s warm cheek with his own cooler one. He nipped one of the older man’s ear, white teeth teasing the skin.
“Hyukya…” Tony said breathlessly, his arms were around the other man, holding him as close as he could without having the small boy collapsing on him. “Lets not waste time tonight.”
“We’ve wasted enough time haven’t we?” Woo Hyuk answered, he was nipping his way down Tony’s jaw to his throat, his progressed marked with the small sharp stings; intertwined with the feeling if wet tongue on his heating skin.
“Yes, yes we have,” Tony let his head fall back and moved his hand to twine in Woo Hyuk’s damp blond hair holding his head. Woo Hyuk continued his trail lower and lower, holding himself up with one arm and pulling the blanket down as he scooted back to hover over Tony’s prone legs. Tony let out a small moan of encouragement when he felt hot tongue tracing his abdomen, he sat up and kissed the top of Woo Hyuk’s head before falling back and letting the younger boy do as he pleased.
Woo Hyuk undid the tie to Tony’s pyjama pants with one hand while holding his weight with the other, again using that hand he tugged at the material. Tony lifted his hips as much he could to allow the boy to slide his pants as far down as he could push them.
Tony arched his back and let out a breathy sigh as he felt hot breath float across his sensitive skin. Woo Hyuk stopped for a moment and sat bock on his knees, Tony looked at him, and smiled. Woo Hyuk returned the smile with his own smile; this was where he was happy. This was their world and he made the rules here.
“Hyukya” Tony wailed; there was heat around him and it felt so divine. Woo Hyuk’s mouth wrapped around him so perfectly it was like he was submerged in liquid oil, warm and all around him. He felt one hand on his hips to stop any possible movement white the other cupped whatever didn’t fit in his mouth. Tony snarled his hands in Woo Hyuk’s hair trying not to pull even as pleasure careened through his body.
Woo Hyuk listened to his name called out in pleasure; Tony’s voice was deep and filled with lust- it was like music to him, full of colour and life. He moved his tongue around the object in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the end; it was bitter and slightly salty; it was a taste that belonged to Tony and Tony alone. He relished in the taste and sound, the feeling of Tony’s soft tanned skin under his fingers. The smell of Tony all around him invading his mind and his body filling him, his eyes were closed but he could see colour; so much colour filling his senses.
“Hyukie…” Tony said, he pulled on the boy’s hair to get his attention; Woo Hyuk let Tony’s erection slip from his mouth and looked up the length of the older man to meet his eyes. There was a moment and Woo Hyuk smiled at him again, he bent his head and kissed the tip of the pillar of flesh in front of him.
“Yes?” Tony watched him and felt the longing inside him grow like never before. He wanted his white angel, and he wanted him now; almost losing him had been trying and now he was ready to apologize for all that he had made Woo Hyuk feel.
“I want you now.” Tony said softly, Hyukie smiled softly at him; he crawled up Tony and kissed him again. Lips met in an almost violent kiss, violently sweet, filled with love, passion and desperation- all the feelings possibly between. Woo Hyuk wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, while one of Tony’s arms held the younger man around narrow waist, the other reached for a table to the side of his bed. Fumbling blindly for something he knew was there; once his hand caught it he smiled into the kiss.
Woo Hyuk broke the kiss when a low moan broke past his lips and he felt a shudder pass through is body. Tony’s hands brushed over his bottom, feathering touches along the smooth skin; delving here and there to tease lightly. He rested his forehead against Tony’s shoulder and arched his body subtlety to the warm touches. Tony smiled and turned his face to the side to press a small kiss to Woo Hyuk’s hair. With both hands unseen he popped the cap off the small tube and spread the chilly contents all over his fingers. With slick hands he gripped the smaller man’s cheeks in his hand and probed around with one slick finger.
Woo Hyuk let out a breath as the first digit sunk into his body, he was sure to keep his breathing even and his body relaxed. He didn’t move, letting Tony prepare him, instead he closed his eyes and concentrated simply on feeling, Tony under him, Tony in him, Tony, Tony, Tony. All he can feel is Tony. In moments like this it was easy to believe all he would ever feel is Tony, never the feeling of sun on his skin, or of water lapping against his feet, pulling him to the sea. All he could feel was Tony.
The second was added and Tony felt the other boy twitch but he didn’t move and Tony had to press another quick kiss to fragrant hair.
“You’re doing good,” he spread his fingers a little stretching and loosening what he could to make this as painless as possible. Woo Hyuk let out a breath that fanned his chest and he smiled; his white angel.
“Tony…” the voice was shaky, and uneven, ending in almost a yelp.
“Almost.” Tony pulled his hands away with one final caress. “Ready?”
“Always,” he couldn’t see the amused lift of pink lips but he could feel it in the deep voice.
“Here,” Woo Hyuk sat back and took the offered tube from Tony’s hands, he sat on Tony’s thighs, resting on his own on either side. Woo Hyuk spread enough to slick his long hands and gently and lightly touched Tony’s erection. Tony let out a small hiss and Woo Hyuk grasped it again, this time for fully, giving a few tugs to thoroughly coat the organ he sat back again.
“Ready?” He asked this time bouncing the question back at the older man.
“Always.” Tony said without hesitation that brought a sweet smile to both faces, lust was mixed with the lighter feeling of love; this wasn’t the desperate kind of love that consumed like flame. Not like their first time that had been more about animalistic desire then any form of emotion, desire is an emotion- the most dangerous kind.
Tony pushed Woo Hyuk back so that he was lying back across his legs, there was much shifting of long limbs, pale skin sliding against tanned skin and melding into one being. Woo Hyuk was on his back with his legs spread out to either side, he was looking at Tony who was sitting between his legs and looking down at him, one hand on either thigh keeping them spread.
There was a moment that was filled with all the said and unsaid things, fears, desires, secrets and truths. It passed in the span of a heartbeat; filling their bubble with essence of them; not one not the other but a shared existence. Then there was movement slow and purposeful, guided and knowing. There was the sharp intake of breath from the statue-still boy and a long exhale from the one in motion.
Then it was like a movie going from slow motion to fast; the glitch was gone and film started moving at regular speed again, the sordid story line playing out in sensual technicolor. The actors fell into their roles playing the destined lovers to perfection; the first cry was from the younger unable to hold the sound back any longer.
Woo Hyuk’s world was motion, colour, pleasure and the mixture of everything- Tony. He could feel Tony above him and in him, the heat from his skin was mesmerizing and he felt almost drunk on it. There was slick skin under his hands and he was gripping Tony’s arms, he could feel sweat forming all over his body making him feel the warmth in his own body too.
Tony was moving at a steady pace feeling the friction run along erection and all the way up his spine to the wiring in his brain. The pleasure collected there craving for more. Moving his hips faster and faster as he heard himself moan out his student’s name. There was his white angel under him, eyes half lidded and darkened with pleasure; his skin was flushed with passion and his forehead was slick with sweat. The mixed sounds of their lovemaking filled the enclosed room, bouncing off the walls and collecting in a sort of pressure, matching the building intensity of the two boy’s movements.
It seemed they could go on forever this way, bodies moving against each other; one motion felt by the other, reflected back. It was like one machine each part necessary to finish its task, not one gear less or one gear more. The goal was pleasure, and they set themselves to it, moaning and gasping.
Woo Hyuk could have been crying, it could have been Tony’s tears falling on him, or his sweat, the emotion was so strong between them he couldn’t remember were he ended and Tony began. It was almost scary the depth of his heart, but he had asked for this, he had come searching for it, because surely if this were gone there would be nothing left. Life was nothing without this passion to colour it in, there was no picture with only the black on white lines.
Tony felt the pressure building in him; the kettle was about to scream. His movements became faster and faster harder and harder, he shifted him hands so that he was pulling Woo Hyuk back against him. The younger male was crying out with the rhythm of their sex, the pulse of his heart and the matching beat of Tony’s. Tony didn’t even notice the noises pouring from his own full lips, the nonsensical promises, declarations, and praises. He leaned over his thrusts become shallow in an attempt to stave off oncoming orgasm, and pressed his lips against Woo Hyuk’s parted ones. They kissed sloppily and hurriedly as Tony continued to shift his hips as much as he could; gaining the most friction for both of them in their compromised position.
“Tonyah,” Woo Hyuk moaned breathless, Tony answered his call with a broken version of the student’s name. The pleasure was rising and reaching a sort of peak; Tony could feel it starting to wash over him like the tide, inevitable and unstoppable. His thrusts became deeper and harder, rocking the thin body fast and more roughly, Woo Hyuk pressed his eyes closed feeling the tug within his body that signalled the end.
When they came it was like a white wave, coating them with its massive body. It was the purest white; flawless and blanketing. And it screamed with brilliant colour.
Two males tangled in one sweaty mass of flesh and bone, and blood. Breathing heavily, hearts beating with each other, racing off to the distant future. Woo Hyuk had his eyes shut tight feeling the afterglow after such a powerful orgasm, Tony rested on top of the other man, his hair plastered to his head by sweat. He shifted and gathered the strength to roll off the smaller man, Woo Hyuk rolled with him keeping the skin to skin contact trying to preserve the heat for as long as he could.
“Tonyah?” Woo Hyuk asked as the echoes of their activities diffused through the walls; lost to the night outside.
“Yes?” Tony rolled to look at the younger boy, his skin was still flushed and he looked almost real.
“I’m not letting go.” He said it firmly almost to himself- this was the right choice. “I love you too much, I might die.”
“…” Tony looked at him for a long moment, watching the expression of the younger male. “I love you too. I won’t let you leave again.”
“Not tonight, Christmas is for spending time with the ones you love.” Woo Hyuk said at last with a finalizing tone in his voice. This was where it was warm. This was where the colour to his white was. This was where he was happy. This was where he was going to stay.
