Dir en Grey one shots
Sep. 6th, 2005 06:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozing_kittenBand: Dir en Grey
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Racecar
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Thoughtful/ Humor
Summry: Die feels old, Kyo gets him drunk, soon Captain Porn and super secret agent Race-car have a mission. Inspired by an episode of Sponge-Bob [shoot me]
Die suppressed a snicker, the hall was well lit but he stuck to the walls for effect. Slinking down the hall he tried to hush his footsteps; the apartment he was looking for would be down the hall a little more. There, apartment 1458 Kaoru Niikura, Die grinned wickedly to himself and flipped out his cell phone holding it like a walkie-talkie.
“Race-car to Captain porn, come in, I’ve spotted my target,” Die whispered mutedly into the phone, there was a small burst of static and Kyo’s gruff voice cut through the silence of the sparse hall.
“Speak up, I can’t hear you,” Die chuckled,
“I’ve spotted my target, mission go?” Die asked the small silver phone, there was a deep chuckle from it.
“Captain porn locked on target, over and out; report to mission central after retrieval!” Kyo’s deep voice boomed with authority and it took everything in Die not to laugh out loud.
“Understood, Race-car out.” Die flipped his cell phone closed and continued to slink towards the door in front of him, still grinning madly.
NEVER tell Kyo you feel old; Die had learned this the hard way –not having been warned by Kaoru about this- earlier that day. Die had been feeling old, as the years seemed to blend –there were to many years in his opinion- all the good memories piled up and he felt so small under their weight. His life was full of so much that he was feeling beyond his years, thinking back on wilder younger days he began to crave them again. Crave the sharp smell of alcohol and cigarettes; blending with the smell of people dancing; sweat from pretty young boys and girls. Feeling old, Die had decided to call up the shorter man if only for a distraction –as the others had plans for the day and would be gone- Kyo and him got into a long conversation on things past; events past. Kyo had invited him out to some drinks to remedy the …oldness.
And so Die had met Kyo at the bar at one in the afternoon, that eventually led him here, trying not to giggle as he fished out his key for Kaoru’s door.
Race-car always completes his mission, Race-car always gets laid by the pretty boy in the short dress. Super secret agent Race-car just tripped over a chair. Sitting on his knees in Kaoru’s immaculately clean living room Die couldn’t help but let loose the wave of giggles that he’d been holding back so well.
Sitting here the memories washed over him; how many times had he been so piss drunk he couldn’t see straight in this room? He remembered one time in particular -a completely random incident- it had been the night that Kaoru had first moved into this apartment, they had all sat in this living room some on his couch, they didn’t even bother to take he moving plastic off of it. Takeout boxes was littered across the floor, empty cans of beer joining the mess, they were watching some movie on the hastily set up television and DVD player. Die was laying on the floor, his head on a pillow on Kaoru’s lap, Kaoru leaned against Shinya’s legs, Shinya was sitting on the couch, with Kyo, Toshiya was laying across them both, his head resting on a pillow on the armrest. The memory left a warm spot in his mind even as it fled back into the drunken mass of his brain. Die smiled to himself and picked himself off of the floor to make his way to his target- the bedroom.
In the bedroom his keen eyes scanned over the room before deciding to flip on the light switch. Grinning stupidly to himself he made his way towards the closet. Opening the doors of giant walk in closet he smiled, it smelled like Kaoru; the expensive cologne that the older man liked so much was imbedded in the clothing, each piece carrying a faint trace of the man that wore them.
The closet was huge, more like another small room, Die grinned he could imagine it like in the movies he would have a spray can and there would be laser lines for him to get across. Die chuckled softly at the thought and flipped on the light switch to look at Kaoru’s impressive collection of clothing. Kaoru liked to keep things, Die noticed this again as he looked though the clothing, all the recent stuff near the front but the further back he went the more memories the clothing aroused.
That was the shirt he wore when they went to the amusement park, he smiled faintly at the memory of Kaoru running around yelling ‘Yamate! Yamate!’ as they chased him in an attempt to get him on the roller coaster. Die giggled softly, Kaoru had sulked for a while after they dragged him on; he’d looked so cute.
That shirt there was the one he bought and wore in Hong Kong, that had been a fun trip even if the food was a little weird. Die grinned the memory playing like a movie in his mind, Kaoru pressed close to him as they tried to find their way around the unknown city. The two of them had gotten separated and horribly horribly lost. He could feel Kaoru pressed to his side, Die remembered that he’d been more then a little freaked out too, surrounded by so many people and not being able to understand a word they said.
Back a little further, those pants looked familiar but Die couldn’t quite place them, so he kept on moving; there this was way back. Clothing from before, before Dir en grey, this shirt seemed to stick out more then the others. The memory attached to it was so strong it seemed like it had a physical presence on the shirt. This was the shirt that Kaoru wore when Die first laid eyes on him; the shirt itself was black with grey words that spelled ‘law breaker’ in English letters. Maybe it was the cool shirt, maybe it was Kaoru’s beautiful blue hair, and maybe it had been destiny. Die couldn’t recall; or even if he had ever known, all he knew was that he had to meet this…Law breaker. They had hit it off instantly; instant friends just add beer. That day had changed his life; from then on he would see Kaoru’s dream; with him, and the other three they would live their dreams. Kaoru had refused to fade into the obscurity of a normal life so he broke the rules of normalcy and pushed his band into stardom. Die blinked and the memory was over, he reached out and brushed the shirt fondly. But he must not be side tracked from the mission!
There was a dresser at the very back and this was where Die –Race-car- figured his prize would be; like in the movies it would be shining on a pedestal. Opening one shelf he quickly filtered through the contents. Pouting he went though the below it, and the one below that; but still not finding anything suitable he steeled himself to look though the last drawer.
There. Under the socks. He had found it.
Die gripped the pale purple thong in his hands giggling madly, he wondered if Captain porn had as much luck as he did. Straightening he clutched his prize and was making his way for the exit, made it as far at the living room too.
“Die?” Die looked up at Kaoru who was standing there looking confused, bag of shopping in one hand, jacket in the other, “What are you doing here?”
Race-car was caught.
“And why are you holding my underwear?”
Busted.
End notes: Kaoru hates roller coasters and went around yelling 'No! No!', If I had a big closet I would put my dresser in it too.
Dir en Grey/Yoshiki
Pairings: Die/Kaoru, Toshiya/Shinya, Yoshiki/Kyo
Title: Dominate me
Rating: High-PG13 (for lots of innuendo)
Genre: Humor
Summary: The boys have a little party in Kaoru's apartment, boys will be boys.
The blue smoke that singled smokers hazed around the table in a cloud of poisonous gas. Empty beer cans were littered around –some having fallen on the floor, and Kaoru had stopped spazing every time one did- the ones with liquid still in them remained by their drinkers.
Shinya had fled the scene of decadence, the smoke was giving him a headache and it was too cold to open any of the windows. Kyo’s kangaroo rats scurried around Kaoru’s apartment –when Kyo had shown up with them it had been the mother of all obsessively clean fits complete with not letting the small vocalist in until Kyo promised he could get the rodents out again. They sat around his kitchen table, smoking drinking, and just generally talking.
“Not leaving with Shinya?” Kyo asked the bassist, the tall man shook his head; eyes squinting at the cards trying to think of a strategy that would allow him victory.
“Usually he can’t get you away,” Die chuckled and Kyo smirked at the tall man, Toshiya pouted.
“What about you Die?” Toshiya looked over his hand at the red haired man, Die rose a questioning eyebrow, “I’m surprised you haven’t managed to get this place to look more like yours, I keep expecting to find your underwear on the counter,” Toshiya laughed out loud on the disgusted look on their leaders face.
“Ew, Toshiya that’s just gross,” Kaoru stuck his tongue out and Kyo laughed looking around,
“You know Toshiya you have a point,” Kyo commented, “this place looks to clean for Die to live here,” said man snorted, if he messed up Kaoru’s spotless house he would be out so fast…
“You’re one to talk Kyo,” Kaoru said easily, rearranging a cards in his hand, “if you don’t stop stealing Yoshiki’s car he’s going to throw you out on your ass,” Kyo grinned devilishly before muttering something that caused Toshiya to snort into his drink in amusement.
“He appreciates my ass too much for that,”
“You know you don’t seem the bottom type,” Die waved, “though I suppose the height rule applies,” Toshiya giggled,
“Could you imagine our little Kyo being on top of Yoshiki-sama? It would look so funny!” Toshiya cackled with Die and Kaoru rolled his eyes, Kyo was glaring at them from under fluffy blond hair.
“I believe in your manliness,” Kaoru said putting a comforting hand on Kyo’s arm, before breaking out in a fit of giggles, Kyo glared at them all,
“Says Die’s bitch,” Kyo snarled back at the dark blond man, Kaoru stuck his tongue out.
“I’m confident enough in my masculinity to say that I like getting fucked by Die,” Kaoru said pouting slightly.
“Aww, I love you to Kao,” Die cooed at the other man, said man gave him a haughty look.
“What masculinity?” Toshiya asked, Die wisely kept from laughing –to much.
“That would be worse if it came from anyone but you,” Kaoru deadpanned, his smirk hiding under the surface of his sarcasm, “After all it’s hard to be insulted by a man who likes to go shopping for mini skirts and tights with his boyfriend.”
“Bonding,” Toshiya said with a sniff, “at least I’m top in my relationship!”
“Really?” Die looked at Toshiya interest shining in his eyes with more then a little perversion, Kaoru rolled his eyes.
“Of course,” Toshiya winked at Kyo who had been sulking for the last couple of minutes, “height rule remember?”
“Fuck off,” Kyo muttered before he laid his cards on the table for them all to see,
“Shiiit,” Die cursed before also laying his cards on the table where it was plain to see that he had far less points then Kyo’s hand.
“Ditto,” Toshiya muttered before also revealing that he had lost to Kyo,
“Heh,” Kaoru only said, before chuckling to himself in pride; three sets of eyes turned to look at him,
“Spit it out,” Toshiya said, glaring at the older man who was still gloating to himself,
“He doesn’t hear that often,” Die chuckled, and Kyo snickered, Kaoru threw down his cards –an impressive royal flush by the way.
“You’re such a ass Die,” Kaoru muttered, Die only gave him a charming smile; Kaoru took another drink of his beer, Kyo followed suit.
“One more game then I really should head home,” Toshiya glanced at the clock on the wall, Shinya wouldn’t have waited up for him…
“Let’s make it interesting,” Die’s grin turned evil and Kaoru –who knew Die better then any of the others- suddenly found that he really didn’t want to agree to this.
“Die…” Kaoru started,
“I’m in,” Toshiya nodded, either he really could be that slow, or he loved good challenges.
“Me to.” Kyo also nodded at the tall guitarist; masochistic little freak.
“Kaoru?” Die turned to his lover, evil gleam colouring his eyes; Kaoru looked around; sighing he nodded.
“In,”
“Good,” Die took all the cards in his large hands and used nimble fingers to carefully shuffle them. “Listen up, we are going to play another round, winner of this round picks one person and that person has to strip.”
“That’s not so bad,” Kyo mocked, he liked to be naked all the time and had nothing against parading around in front of his band mates sans clothing, hell he’s probably dance on the table if they asked him too. Die couldn’t contain his smile –why he always lost at poker to Kaoru-
“Babe, would you get three markers please?” Kaoru gave him a sceptical look before rising gracefully to obtain the requested art supplies.
“What are you going to do with those?” Toshiya asked, looking nervously in the direction that Kaoru had walked off in.
“You’ll see,” the slightly shorter red haired guitarist answered,
“So to pass the time,” There was a crash in the kitchen followed by a string of colourful swear words, most of the phrases including, ‘fuck’ and ‘rat’, it would be logical to conclude that Kaoru had been scared into dropping something by either Puchi or Buchi –Kyo’s pets.
“I’m fine!” Was called from the direction of the kitchen, “I’ll be there after I clean this up!” Kyo rolled his eyes, neat freak. Die looked concerned in the direction of the kitchen for a while before he gave up and took a long drink from his can of beer.
“As I was saying, to pass the time…” Die grinned, “let’s play a little game,” He held up a finger, “let’s say…Kaoru and …Yoshiki were to fuck who would be on top?” Toshya stuck his tongue out,
“You are such a pervert Die!” Kyo looked more to be deep in thought then bothered by the question.
“Yoshiki.” He nodded, Die looked at Toshiya and the tall man sighed,
“Yoshiki,” He agreed, at long last, much to his dismay he could picture it in his head, Kaoru kneeling under Yoshiki’s big office desk –a position Kyo must have filled before- with the producer’s… “Ew.” Toshiya said shuddering.
“Okay, I agree,” Die grinned in a blatantly lecherous way, sexy thoughts about watching his slim lover being taken by the sophisticated older man prancing through his head.
“Okay…Toshiya,”
“Hey!”
“And me,” Toshiya again stuck out his tongue, forming the words ‘ick’ with pretty glossed lips. Kyo looked Toshiya up and down, and then Die up and down; he frowned for a moment, ignoring the small furry creature he had just felt run over his foot.
“Die.” Kyo said at last, the red head had a beaming expression on his face,
“Hey!” Toshiya whined again, before he looked at the guitarist, he looked Die up and down, yeah sure Die looked a lot more masculine then him…closing his eyes he thought about it a little more, Toshiya would have Die on his back; controlling the red haired man’s thrashings as he slowly lowered himself. Toshiya shuddered again, “Double ew.”
“Heh,” Die chuckled, “It’s unanimous.”
“You might be on top, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Kaoru likes it enough,” Die grinned while Toshiya only shook his head. “Okay, okay, hmm Toshiya and…”
“Would you stop using me!” the bassist said huffing in annoyance,
“Fine, Shinya and Kyo?”
“Kyo,” Toshiya didn’t really even have to think about it, and at the same time he really didn’t want to think about it…
“Me,” Kyo answered at the same time, fuck the height rule.
“That didn’t take long…” Die said with amusement, “Okay, Shinya and Kaoru,” Die looked at Toshiya for this one, the tall bassist frowned with thought.
“That’s hard,” Kyo said absently toying with the idea, “Kaoru…no Shinya…” Kyo shrugged,
“Shinya,” Die said after a moment, the thought of his pretty little boy submitting to the equally beautiful drummer was a fun thought to toy with, or would the drummer be under his lover? Kaoru loved to be bottom, he absolutely loved being dominated –which Die had always found ironic since he was always in control, but that was it was all about control; Kaoru craved to have someone else in control of him; Die could think of worse jobs- but would the slender looking drummer have enough control to satisfy Kaoru?
“…I’d have to say that it might go either way,” Toshiya shrugged, “I’ve never slept with Kaoru but I have fucked Shinya, I would like to say Kaoru but…”
“You’d so be top by the way,” Die pointed out, “with Kaoru,”
“Agreed.” Kyo nodded wisely. “What about Shinya and Yoshiki?”
“Yoshiki,” Toshiya and Die answered at the same time, grinning at each other then at Kyo, who glared at them,
“He’s very… top…” Kyo muttered, Die snickered, he still found it funny that Kyo was forced into the girl’s role while Yoshiki had such a past of looking so feminine, but had Yoshiki been years younger he would still be able to capture the small blond under him… such was the way of things. “Whatever, What about you? Who would be top you or Yoshiki?” Kyo directed the question at both of them at the same time.
“…” Toshiya couldn’t quite picture himself under the desk the same way as with Kaoru, but he could see himself sitting in Yoshiki’s lap nuzzling the older man the way he often liked to do while Shinya played with his hair. “Yoshiki,” He sighed, he seriously couldn’t see him managing to top Yoshiki,
“…” Die also thought about this, it wasn’t as much of a thought as it was a fantasy, he would be pushed over Yoshiki-sama’s desk… “Yoshiki,” Kyo looked smug,
“He’s just like that,” Kyo nodded,
“Who’s like what?” Kaoru asked walking into the room, pretty as pie, he cast a quick glance to make sure none of Kyo’s pets were anywhere near him before he sat at the table, he placed his well fought for markers –having been scared no less then three times by Puchi could have been Buchi, while he hunted for the markers and cleaned up the mess he’d made when he dropped the plate- on the table in front of Die.
“Nothing,” Toshiya said with a wink and Kaoru frowned,
“We were discussing…” Kyo trailed off winking conspiratorially at Toshiya, Die chuckled at the pissed look on his lover’s face. Die leaned in and spoke softly into Kaoru’s ear –not that everyone couldn’t hear anyways.
“We were wondering what would happen if you ever fucked Yoshiki-sama,” Kaoru turned about three shades of red, if not more. Die chuckled, he knew that Kaoru looked up to the pianist greatly and had most likely thought about this before; at the same time it was so fun to bother the lead guitarist…
“Yoshiki would be top,” Toshiya added with a chuckle, Kaoru glared at him, colour filling his high cheekbones.
“We should test this some time, that alright with you Kyo?” Die asked, amusing himself with the way that Kaoru tried to look pissed off and embarrassed at the same time.
“Take the old coot, well let him take Kaoru, however you want to put it,” Kyo shrugged,
“You hear that babe?” Die asked the leader who was looking increasingly annoyed,
“Didn’t you want to play a game Da-i-su-ke” He drew out the syllables, Die only grinned back,
“Right, let’s play,”
~~
“Oh fuck,” Kyo snarled,
“Yep,” Die added looking around the four hands
“Shit…” Kaoru hissed,
“Oh yeah!” Toshiya grinned widely at the three displeased men,
“Well Toshiya won that one,” Die said pointing out the painfully obvious. “So Toshi, who’s your victim?” The pretty man pursed his lips in thought, he could get Kaoru; from the band members present Kaoru was the next one he’d like, but at the same time if he did that to the leader Kaoru could exact his revenge easily. Die? Again Kaoru could exact his revenge…but why not Kyo the little bastard had been annoying all night, and he didn’t have to worry about retaliation from the band leader.
“Kyo.” The small vocalist winced at the sound of his name. Toshiya grinned evilly at the blond man, and Die just grinned, Kaoru was caught between looking on with pity or amused. “If I’m right that means off with the clothing,” Kyo rolled his eyes and stood.
“Here you go,” Die gave a marker to Toshiya and another to Kaoru, of course keeping the last one for himself. Kyo eyed the markers suspiciously before he pulled the sleeveless shirt over his head, the three snickered and Kyo glared harder at them, before quickly removing his pants. He stopped there looking at Die,
“All the way Kyo,” Die said and the small man huffed, before quickly losing his boxers as well. Standing naked in front of the three Kyo glared at them, “Now let’s leave a message for Yoshiki-sama,” Die uncapped his marker with a grin, Kyo’s eyes widened,
“What!?” Kyo backed up a step the tall red haired man moving closer, “ahhh!”
~~
Toshiya entered the house as quietly as he could, there was a softy clicking then something was sniffing his leg,
“Hey Miyu,” Toshiya cooed softly to the small dog, “Is Shinya still up?” There was a small yip from the oversized rodent…-dog. “Oh, okay,” Toshiya nodded in the darkness, could dogs see in the dark?
“You know you talk to her more then I do…”Shinya said flipping on the lights on, Toshiya squeaked at the sudden invasion of light.
“Hey Shin-chan!” Toshiya waved with one hand peeking though his fingers –which had flung up to cover his eyes- he grinned at the drummer, Shinya only rolled his eyes.
“Have fun?” Shinya asked, bending over to pick up the small dog, Miyu yipped happily, Toshiya grinned remembering his artwork on Kyo.
“Yep!” Toshiya beamed, he sauntered over to the pretty boy and slung his arms around the shorter man. He was of course careful not to crush the small dog between them,
“Get off of me, you smell like smoke,” Shinya whined, but when Toshiya kissed him he didn’t complain. There was a small squawk when Shinya dropped the dog in favour of kissing his taller lover deeper.
~~
“It’s going to take forever to get this all cleaned up,” Kaoru frowned looking at the table, and the floor surrounding it, Die wrapped his arms around the slender man from behind surveying the mess over one bony shoulder.
“It’s not so bad…”
“Compared to what? Your house?” Kaoru said giving a level look at the mess across his dinning room. Die twitched, he knew very well that Kaoru didn’t even want to set foot into his ‘den of germs and …other gross stuff’.
“I suppose…” Die sighed and nipped Kaoru’s ear playfully, “How about I help you clean it up in the morning?” Die felt the body in his arms sigh, “Aren’t you tired?”
“If I go to bed you won’t let me sleep anyways,” Kaoru said his tone light and amused, Die pressed his hips to Kaoru’s backside,
“True, true, clean in the morning?” Die asked, nibbling on Kaoru’s ear –and trying not to eat fluffy hair instead- “For me?”
“...Okay,” Kaoru twisted in his lover’s arms till he was facing away form the mess that called to him and facing his lover who wanted him more. Kaoru smiled and kissed the taller man, happy to let Die take control of him and his body, he broke the kiss with a frown, “Do you think I’m not manly enough?”
“You’re prefect just the way you are,” Die kissed him again to take his mind off of it.
~~
Kyo entered the house slowly, creeping silently he prayed that he could make it to the bathroom before anyone saw him… moving through the silent dark living room, suddenly light flooded him senses.
“Ahh!” Kyo cried throwing his hands up to protect his face,
“Kyo?” Yoshiki asked from his position in the hall, the black silky robe hanging off his body in a dashing way –as Yoshiki is unable to things in a non-sexy way.
“Don’t come near me!” Kyo shrieked scuttling away from the older man, Yoshiki raised an eyebrow looking with amusement on his small vocalist, Kyo –who was scuttling backwards with his face covered and couldn’t see- tripped over the end of the large rug and fell on his bottom.
“Don’t be silly Kyo,” Yoshiki sauntered over to the fallen –and now sulking- boy. “...What do you have on your face?” Yoshiki crouched down in front of the boy, not knowing –or most likely not caring- that the movement spread the folds of his robe allowing Kyo to drool over what could now be seen.
“…Marker,” Kyo muttered, he had dearly hoped that Yoshiki wouldn’t see, but they had made him promise to deliver the message to Yoshiki, and since the message happened to be written across his lower back spilling onto his ass he had no clue what it said. He also had a large heart on one cheek and a poorly drawn butterfly on the other.
“Should I even ask?” Yoshiki smirked knowingly at the small man, Kyo glared cutely,
“Die’s fault,” Kyo said sounding miffed, Yoshiki held out a hand to help the petite man up, and Kyo took it grudgingly.
“Die’s?” Yoshiki asked, leading Kyo to the bathroom so he could at least wash Kyo’s face off, and maybe see what else was written on the small man, after all there was a picture that spilled up his arm and under his shirt, Yoshiki noted with amusement that it was Kaoru’s drawing.
“Him and his games…” Kyo pouted, “And Toshiya for wining them…” Kyo was still pouting it wasn’t fair that they did this to him…why not Kaoru? Yoshiki tugged the shirt up until the blond man cooperated and lifted his arm up so Yoshiki could take the shirt off sure enough in large letters across his chest it declared ‘TOSHIYA WAS HERE!’ -pomplete with little hearts and stars-, Yoshiki twirled the small boy around to he could look at his back, and snorted to himself in amusement; Kyo ranted obliviously. “Toshiya did it to smite me…” Kyo pouted, ignoring Yoshiki who was reading him…
“Was Shinya there?” Yoshiki asked absently looking at the crudely drawn stick men doing inappropriate actions to each other on Kyo’s upper back and shoulder blades. That’s when he noticed it, ‘Dear Yoshiki-sama,’ He frowned and looked at it closer, the words had gotten smudged by the shirt but it was still legible.
“No, he left, damn him…”
“What’s this?” He stroked one long finger over the words and Kyo shivered,
“N-nothing,” Kyo muttered,
“It’s addressed to me.” Yoshiki deadpanned, Kyo twitched,
“It’s a message…from the others…” Kyo flushed, Yoshiki’s arm’s leaned around him unbutton his pants –the talented Mr. Hiyashi who can undo pants from behind without even looking!- and fumbling for the zipper to get the pants off so he could read the rest of the message, the curiosity was killing him.
Pants dropped and so did boxers –twice in one night- and the spacious room was filled with the sound of Yoshiki’s laughter.
‘Dear Yoshiki-sama, enclosed we have gotten you a little gift, have fun with it!
Dir en Grey’ The message was written in Die’s sloppy characters, complete with many arrows that pointed to the middle of Kyo firm ass,
“What does it say?” Kyo pouted twisting to try and see what was written on his ass. Yoshiki continued to chuckle, he rose gracefully, pulling the small boy into an embrace,
“I will enjoy it greatly say thank you to them next time you see them,” he muttered softy and Kyo made a whining noise,
“Whattttt?”
Title: Heart-shaped cookie
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Genre: sillyness NOT to be taken seriously
Rating: PG-13 for Kyo's bad mouth :0!!
Summary: Kaoru wants cookies, now.
T’was a morning like any other morning, Kaoru was sitting in his favourite chair watching Saturday cartoons and waiting for a call from a friend who was on tour. His coffee was sitting on the small table beside him, ‘I <3 Dir en grey’ mug gleaming in the sun light. And like every other morning when Doraemon was over he had a sudden attack of ‘random cookie craving syndrome’ –which was a very serious illness if left unattended, as Kyo would tell you, if left unfulfilled it can cause severe angsting. Kaoru rose swiftly form his chair and padded into the kitchen looking for a cookie fix.
The sound of a box crumpling could be heard followed by a wail of despair and the sound of someone ripping cupboards apart looking for something that couldn’t be found. About ten minutes later Kaoru gave up, there were no cookies to be found, none at all; how could have let this happen? He was a rock star dammit, was a cookie to much to ask for?! If he left now he might miss his call… but the cookies… well Aiji could leave a message he needed cookies- now.
Kaoru locked the door behind him, and pulled the black hat over his blond hair carefully. He was more or less still in his lounging clothes, but he looked presentable enough; after all no one would recognize him as Dir en Grey’s Kaoru; not even his band mates! Kaoru pushed the expensive glasses further up his nose and trotted towards the elevator that would bring him that much closer to his baked delights. Maybe since he was going out he would go to bakery instead of just the store, get him some really good cookies.
One elevator trip later and he was out on the bright street, and again that much closer to his goal. If he was quick he could get back in time to catch Afro Ken, then life would be gold. Kaoru set out the way he always did when it was Saturday and he ran out of cookie –having ate them all on Friday while watching sex in the city after practice.
Little did Kaoru know that he was being followed, a red-haired shadow watched as Kaoru left his building; smirking at how incredibly predictable the guitarist could be. Die smirked to himself and resisted the urge to cackle to himself, today would be the day he swept Kaoru off his feet. Die had a plan; a grand plan to win Kaoru over; he had been planning to for weeks; working out the details of his wonderful plan until it could not possibly fail. Today was going to be his day, Kaoru would be his.
Little did Die know that across the street a small blond –tired- fluff ball was watching the blond haired man leave his apartment as well. Lips that had been pouting lifted into a smile when he saw the taller guitarist leave his apartment building. Kyo had a plan a wonderful plan, Kaoru would be his and they could eat cookies together all the time, get through the pain of ‘random cookie craving syndrome’ together. Besides he was missing Doraemon for this; it had better be good.
Little did Kyo know that a certain man and his dog were also watching Kaoru make his way out of his building and down the street. The man turned to his dog and smiled, it had been a pain to wait but it would be worth it when he could call their leader his. After all if he was banging the leader no one could pick on him then could they? Shinya pulled on the leash to stop Miyu from sniffing a pole –that pole was very dirty looking and he had just washed Miyu. Today he would put his plan into action.
Little did Shinya know that indeed the last member of Diru had also decided that today would be a good day to go a-Kaoru-huntin’. Toshiya watched as Kaoru left his apartment building and shut the door behind him before setting off to get his cookies. Today he decided that he would go out and prove hislust love for Kaoru, and if all went well he would make it back in time to watch Afro Ken –if it went really Kaoru would be there watching Afro Ken with him.
Kaoru was completely and totally oblivious to all of this of course; his only goal was the bakery. There was no room in his mind for anything else- the cookie lust consumed him.
Shinya decided to make his move, he was crouching behind a mail box in Kaoru’s path and he looked to his little dog.
“Okay Miyu, you know the plan tight?” One bark –one bark for yes two for no.
“Good, so when he gets close enough you run out and hump his leg,” one doggie eye roll, “Or wrap you leash around his feet right?”
One bark.
“Good girl.” Shinya smiled and patted his dog’s head.
Kaoru walked closer and Shinya was redy, then there was a loud booming bark and a large black blur ran by Kaoru scaring him and heading straight for a seemingly innocent mailbox. Miyu yelped loudly and rushed out onto the street dragging a frightened and confused Shinya with him- Miyu was a dog fleeing for her life and had developed super dog powers to drag his twig-like owner away.
Die cackled evilly, teach Shin-chan to try and ruin his plans. Indeed he had freed the large dog from where he was tied to a pole awaiting his owner, even went as far as to tip the dog off that there was a little cutie hiding behind that mail box. Now that Shinya was out of the way Die crept forward; he was free to approach Kaoru now… Wait was that Toshiya?
Toshiya grinned and snuck out of the shadows, ready to ‘accidentally bump into Kaoru’ on the street. From there he would woo the guitarist with the promise of lots of cookies and really good sex. Simple as that Kaoru would be his.
Die searched around quickly, he had to stop Toshiya from taking his chance, and he had to think of something quick. There!
Toshiya was about to turn the corner to the staged collision with Kaoru when a hand fell on his arm he twirled around quickly to look into the face of a middle aged man in a snazzy looking business suit.
“What?” He snapped annoyed and in a hurry, he was going to miss his chance!
“Why hello pretty young man,” Toshiya felt a shiver travel down his spine, ‘what the hell?’ He looked quickly and almost cursed when he noticed that Kaoru had gotten past him and was across the street already. “Your promoter told me to tell you that 'Die sent me' he told me you were good AND cheap.” The man all but purred,
“Did he now?” Toshiya growled, ready to hit this man if he got even an inch closer, ‘that little bastard’ Toshiya seethed.
“Yes…”
Die grinned and quickly moved to another shadow, Toshiya down now; it had been so easy…
”Hello sir, would you by any chance be interested in him?” Die pointed in the direction of the hiding bassist. The man looked startled then over Toshiya’s long lean frame –it wouldn’t help that he happened to be dressed to kill, in hopes of seducing Kaoru no less! He nodded slowly lecherous grin spreading over his face, “I’m his promoter,” Die smiled, to other it may seem like he was being friendly; but no this was the patented mischievous Die-grin. “He’s real good, and cheap too all you need to do is go over there and tell him that….”
It had been to easy to get rid of Toshiya and even Shinya now all that was left was to snatch up Kaoru so far his luck had been going pretty- what the hell Kyo?!!
Kyo resisted the urge to eat the bag of cookies that he was holding, they called to him so greatly. Alas they were a gift for Kaoru, so he settled for pouting ad smoking instead; he clutched the bag tightly and waited for Kaoru to walk by the alley where he was waiting. A voice behind him startled him greatly,
“So midget, how many cookies will it take to get you to go home?” Kyo whirled and looked at the tall guitarist, Die must have come from the other end of the alley, and he looked slightly breathless like he had run from somewhere else. Kyo narrowed his almost black eyes at the red-haired man.
“Not this time,” Kyo said smugly, he crossed his arms and glared at the smirking man. “No bribes.”
“Really?” Die almost purred, “Don’t you want the cookies in that bag?” Die recognized the name of the famous bakery and knew instantly that what Kyo was carrying –with Kyo what else could it be? “I’m sure they are the expensive kind, you know the really moist and chewy ones,” again with that almost purring tone, Kyo swallowed loudly. “So rich, with just enough cocoa, not to sweet, just heavenly”
“Fuck. You.” Kyo hissed, he was almost sweating, he wanted the cookies in the bag so badly it hurt, and Die was teasing him…
“I’ll buy you more,” Die said with a teasing smile, “Twenty more of those orgasmic cookies,” Kyo looked very torn at this point but not convinced, so Die continued, “And that Doraemon model you wanted…” Kyo growled deep in his throat.
“Fine, but you’re buying me cigarettes for the next two weeks too,” Kyo crossed his arms and huffed, “bitch.” He threw in after the pleased smile spread across Die’s face.
“I’ll give you the stuff during practice on Monday,”
“Whatever!” Kyo said and stomped off the way Die came down the alleyway muttering about lovesick conniving redheads.
Die grinned and then looked out the mouth of the alleyway, oh no! Kaoru was almost at the bakery…Die rushed out to catch him, all would be for nought if he let Kaoru get away now!
So close Kaoru could almost taste the cookies, he had not noticed anything weird on his entire trip aside form the time he had been surprised by that dog- people really shouldn't be letting their dogs run around without leashes on…
“Kaoru!” A hand threading with his stopped him and made him turn to look at the man who stopped him. It was Die, all out of breath and sweating. Kaoru looked at him confused; his mind still on the doors that were not even a block away, beyond them lay the holy grail or at least his personal equivalent. “I wanted to tell you something,”
“Mmm,” Kaoru answered, his focus already gone and back with the cookies.
“I love you.” ‘Cookie, cookie, cookie,… WHAT?!’ Kaoru blinked at him looking shocked and confused. “I love you Kaoru,”
“…Oh,” Kaoru said lamely, what was he supposed to say? All he wanted was a cookie and here Die was saying he loved him…
“Kaoru I love you and I want to fuck you…” Die grinned and dug in his pocket with the hand that wasn’t holding the slim guitarist’s wrist. “I made you this.”
Kaoru blushed slightly when Die said that, that wasn’t the type of thing that you heard everyday… then Die was holding it out to him and he felt his heart melting, awww.
The cookie was shaped in a perfect heart, and even had Die’s name written on it in red icing. Kaoru looked at the cookie, then into Die’s intense eyes.
“Well okay…” Kaoru took the cookie and held it close to his own heart; how sweet –indeed literally and figuratively.
“Good,” Die let go of Kaoru’s wrist to grab him and kiss his deeply, Kaoru melded against him perfectly. It felt so nice to have the small guitarist pressed up against him like that; he was glad that he had gone though so much trouble to claim his Kaoru.
Kaoru found that he liked kissing Die, he liked it better then cookies.
For those of you that somehow didn't know... this is Afro Ken
He's a dog with an Afro... It's a childrens show in Japan...and rather amusing xDD with a HELLA LOTA merchandise...
and this is Doraemon
He's a cat with a magical pouch and it's also a children's cartoon in Japan, I actually have a figurine of him in my bathroom, he's mega-popular, Kyo loves him ^.^;; so I threw him in here too...
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Racecar
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Thoughtful/ Humor
Summry: Die feels old, Kyo gets him drunk, soon Captain Porn and super secret agent Race-car have a mission. Inspired by an episode of Sponge-Bob [shoot me]
Die suppressed a snicker, the hall was well lit but he stuck to the walls for effect. Slinking down the hall he tried to hush his footsteps; the apartment he was looking for would be down the hall a little more. There, apartment 1458 Kaoru Niikura, Die grinned wickedly to himself and flipped out his cell phone holding it like a walkie-talkie.
“Race-car to Captain porn, come in, I’ve spotted my target,” Die whispered mutedly into the phone, there was a small burst of static and Kyo’s gruff voice cut through the silence of the sparse hall.
“Speak up, I can’t hear you,” Die chuckled,
“I’ve spotted my target, mission go?” Die asked the small silver phone, there was a deep chuckle from it.
“Captain porn locked on target, over and out; report to mission central after retrieval!” Kyo’s deep voice boomed with authority and it took everything in Die not to laugh out loud.
“Understood, Race-car out.” Die flipped his cell phone closed and continued to slink towards the door in front of him, still grinning madly.
NEVER tell Kyo you feel old; Die had learned this the hard way –not having been warned by Kaoru about this- earlier that day. Die had been feeling old, as the years seemed to blend –there were to many years in his opinion- all the good memories piled up and he felt so small under their weight. His life was full of so much that he was feeling beyond his years, thinking back on wilder younger days he began to crave them again. Crave the sharp smell of alcohol and cigarettes; blending with the smell of people dancing; sweat from pretty young boys and girls. Feeling old, Die had decided to call up the shorter man if only for a distraction –as the others had plans for the day and would be gone- Kyo and him got into a long conversation on things past; events past. Kyo had invited him out to some drinks to remedy the …oldness.
And so Die had met Kyo at the bar at one in the afternoon, that eventually led him here, trying not to giggle as he fished out his key for Kaoru’s door.
Race-car always completes his mission, Race-car always gets laid by the pretty boy in the short dress. Super secret agent Race-car just tripped over a chair. Sitting on his knees in Kaoru’s immaculately clean living room Die couldn’t help but let loose the wave of giggles that he’d been holding back so well.
Sitting here the memories washed over him; how many times had he been so piss drunk he couldn’t see straight in this room? He remembered one time in particular -a completely random incident- it had been the night that Kaoru had first moved into this apartment, they had all sat in this living room some on his couch, they didn’t even bother to take he moving plastic off of it. Takeout boxes was littered across the floor, empty cans of beer joining the mess, they were watching some movie on the hastily set up television and DVD player. Die was laying on the floor, his head on a pillow on Kaoru’s lap, Kaoru leaned against Shinya’s legs, Shinya was sitting on the couch, with Kyo, Toshiya was laying across them both, his head resting on a pillow on the armrest. The memory left a warm spot in his mind even as it fled back into the drunken mass of his brain. Die smiled to himself and picked himself off of the floor to make his way to his target- the bedroom.
In the bedroom his keen eyes scanned over the room before deciding to flip on the light switch. Grinning stupidly to himself he made his way towards the closet. Opening the doors of giant walk in closet he smiled, it smelled like Kaoru; the expensive cologne that the older man liked so much was imbedded in the clothing, each piece carrying a faint trace of the man that wore them.
The closet was huge, more like another small room, Die grinned he could imagine it like in the movies he would have a spray can and there would be laser lines for him to get across. Die chuckled softly at the thought and flipped on the light switch to look at Kaoru’s impressive collection of clothing. Kaoru liked to keep things, Die noticed this again as he looked though the clothing, all the recent stuff near the front but the further back he went the more memories the clothing aroused.
That was the shirt he wore when they went to the amusement park, he smiled faintly at the memory of Kaoru running around yelling ‘Yamate! Yamate!’ as they chased him in an attempt to get him on the roller coaster. Die giggled softly, Kaoru had sulked for a while after they dragged him on; he’d looked so cute.
That shirt there was the one he bought and wore in Hong Kong, that had been a fun trip even if the food was a little weird. Die grinned the memory playing like a movie in his mind, Kaoru pressed close to him as they tried to find their way around the unknown city. The two of them had gotten separated and horribly horribly lost. He could feel Kaoru pressed to his side, Die remembered that he’d been more then a little freaked out too, surrounded by so many people and not being able to understand a word they said.
Back a little further, those pants looked familiar but Die couldn’t quite place them, so he kept on moving; there this was way back. Clothing from before, before Dir en grey, this shirt seemed to stick out more then the others. The memory attached to it was so strong it seemed like it had a physical presence on the shirt. This was the shirt that Kaoru wore when Die first laid eyes on him; the shirt itself was black with grey words that spelled ‘law breaker’ in English letters. Maybe it was the cool shirt, maybe it was Kaoru’s beautiful blue hair, and maybe it had been destiny. Die couldn’t recall; or even if he had ever known, all he knew was that he had to meet this…Law breaker. They had hit it off instantly; instant friends just add beer. That day had changed his life; from then on he would see Kaoru’s dream; with him, and the other three they would live their dreams. Kaoru had refused to fade into the obscurity of a normal life so he broke the rules of normalcy and pushed his band into stardom. Die blinked and the memory was over, he reached out and brushed the shirt fondly. But he must not be side tracked from the mission!
There was a dresser at the very back and this was where Die –Race-car- figured his prize would be; like in the movies it would be shining on a pedestal. Opening one shelf he quickly filtered through the contents. Pouting he went though the below it, and the one below that; but still not finding anything suitable he steeled himself to look though the last drawer.
There. Under the socks. He had found it.
Die gripped the pale purple thong in his hands giggling madly, he wondered if Captain porn had as much luck as he did. Straightening he clutched his prize and was making his way for the exit, made it as far at the living room too.
“Die?” Die looked up at Kaoru who was standing there looking confused, bag of shopping in one hand, jacket in the other, “What are you doing here?”
Race-car was caught.
“And why are you holding my underwear?”
Busted.
End notes: Kaoru hates roller coasters and went around yelling 'No! No!', If I had a big closet I would put my dresser in it too.
Dir en Grey/Yoshiki
Pairings: Die/Kaoru, Toshiya/Shinya, Yoshiki/Kyo
Title: Dominate me
Rating: High-PG13 (for lots of innuendo)
Genre: Humor
Summary: The boys have a little party in Kaoru's apartment, boys will be boys.
The blue smoke that singled smokers hazed around the table in a cloud of poisonous gas. Empty beer cans were littered around –some having fallen on the floor, and Kaoru had stopped spazing every time one did- the ones with liquid still in them remained by their drinkers.
Shinya had fled the scene of decadence, the smoke was giving him a headache and it was too cold to open any of the windows. Kyo’s kangaroo rats scurried around Kaoru’s apartment –when Kyo had shown up with them it had been the mother of all obsessively clean fits complete with not letting the small vocalist in until Kyo promised he could get the rodents out again. They sat around his kitchen table, smoking drinking, and just generally talking.
“Not leaving with Shinya?” Kyo asked the bassist, the tall man shook his head; eyes squinting at the cards trying to think of a strategy that would allow him victory.
“Usually he can’t get you away,” Die chuckled and Kyo smirked at the tall man, Toshiya pouted.
“What about you Die?” Toshiya looked over his hand at the red haired man, Die rose a questioning eyebrow, “I’m surprised you haven’t managed to get this place to look more like yours, I keep expecting to find your underwear on the counter,” Toshiya laughed out loud on the disgusted look on their leaders face.
“Ew, Toshiya that’s just gross,” Kaoru stuck his tongue out and Kyo laughed looking around,
“You know Toshiya you have a point,” Kyo commented, “this place looks to clean for Die to live here,” said man snorted, if he messed up Kaoru’s spotless house he would be out so fast…
“You’re one to talk Kyo,” Kaoru said easily, rearranging a cards in his hand, “if you don’t stop stealing Yoshiki’s car he’s going to throw you out on your ass,” Kyo grinned devilishly before muttering something that caused Toshiya to snort into his drink in amusement.
“He appreciates my ass too much for that,”
“You know you don’t seem the bottom type,” Die waved, “though I suppose the height rule applies,” Toshiya giggled,
“Could you imagine our little Kyo being on top of Yoshiki-sama? It would look so funny!” Toshiya cackled with Die and Kaoru rolled his eyes, Kyo was glaring at them from under fluffy blond hair.
“I believe in your manliness,” Kaoru said putting a comforting hand on Kyo’s arm, before breaking out in a fit of giggles, Kyo glared at them all,
“Says Die’s bitch,” Kyo snarled back at the dark blond man, Kaoru stuck his tongue out.
“I’m confident enough in my masculinity to say that I like getting fucked by Die,” Kaoru said pouting slightly.
“Aww, I love you to Kao,” Die cooed at the other man, said man gave him a haughty look.
“What masculinity?” Toshiya asked, Die wisely kept from laughing –to much.
“That would be worse if it came from anyone but you,” Kaoru deadpanned, his smirk hiding under the surface of his sarcasm, “After all it’s hard to be insulted by a man who likes to go shopping for mini skirts and tights with his boyfriend.”
“Bonding,” Toshiya said with a sniff, “at least I’m top in my relationship!”
“Really?” Die looked at Toshiya interest shining in his eyes with more then a little perversion, Kaoru rolled his eyes.
“Of course,” Toshiya winked at Kyo who had been sulking for the last couple of minutes, “height rule remember?”
“Fuck off,” Kyo muttered before he laid his cards on the table for them all to see,
“Shiiit,” Die cursed before also laying his cards on the table where it was plain to see that he had far less points then Kyo’s hand.
“Ditto,” Toshiya muttered before also revealing that he had lost to Kyo,
“Heh,” Kaoru only said, before chuckling to himself in pride; three sets of eyes turned to look at him,
“Spit it out,” Toshiya said, glaring at the older man who was still gloating to himself,
“He doesn’t hear that often,” Die chuckled, and Kyo snickered, Kaoru threw down his cards –an impressive royal flush by the way.
“You’re such a ass Die,” Kaoru muttered, Die only gave him a charming smile; Kaoru took another drink of his beer, Kyo followed suit.
“One more game then I really should head home,” Toshiya glanced at the clock on the wall, Shinya wouldn’t have waited up for him…
“Let’s make it interesting,” Die’s grin turned evil and Kaoru –who knew Die better then any of the others- suddenly found that he really didn’t want to agree to this.
“Die…” Kaoru started,
“I’m in,” Toshiya nodded, either he really could be that slow, or he loved good challenges.
“Me to.” Kyo also nodded at the tall guitarist; masochistic little freak.
“Kaoru?” Die turned to his lover, evil gleam colouring his eyes; Kaoru looked around; sighing he nodded.
“In,”
“Good,” Die took all the cards in his large hands and used nimble fingers to carefully shuffle them. “Listen up, we are going to play another round, winner of this round picks one person and that person has to strip.”
“That’s not so bad,” Kyo mocked, he liked to be naked all the time and had nothing against parading around in front of his band mates sans clothing, hell he’s probably dance on the table if they asked him too. Die couldn’t contain his smile –why he always lost at poker to Kaoru-
“Babe, would you get three markers please?” Kaoru gave him a sceptical look before rising gracefully to obtain the requested art supplies.
“What are you going to do with those?” Toshiya asked, looking nervously in the direction that Kaoru had walked off in.
“You’ll see,” the slightly shorter red haired guitarist answered,
“So to pass the time,” There was a crash in the kitchen followed by a string of colourful swear words, most of the phrases including, ‘fuck’ and ‘rat’, it would be logical to conclude that Kaoru had been scared into dropping something by either Puchi or Buchi –Kyo’s pets.
“I’m fine!” Was called from the direction of the kitchen, “I’ll be there after I clean this up!” Kyo rolled his eyes, neat freak. Die looked concerned in the direction of the kitchen for a while before he gave up and took a long drink from his can of beer.
“As I was saying, to pass the time…” Die grinned, “let’s play a little game,” He held up a finger, “let’s say…Kaoru and …Yoshiki were to fuck who would be on top?” Toshya stuck his tongue out,
“You are such a pervert Die!” Kyo looked more to be deep in thought then bothered by the question.
“Yoshiki.” He nodded, Die looked at Toshiya and the tall man sighed,
“Yoshiki,” He agreed, at long last, much to his dismay he could picture it in his head, Kaoru kneeling under Yoshiki’s big office desk –a position Kyo must have filled before- with the producer’s… “Ew.” Toshiya said shuddering.
“Okay, I agree,” Die grinned in a blatantly lecherous way, sexy thoughts about watching his slim lover being taken by the sophisticated older man prancing through his head.
“Okay…Toshiya,”
“Hey!”
“And me,” Toshiya again stuck out his tongue, forming the words ‘ick’ with pretty glossed lips. Kyo looked Toshiya up and down, and then Die up and down; he frowned for a moment, ignoring the small furry creature he had just felt run over his foot.
“Die.” Kyo said at last, the red head had a beaming expression on his face,
“Hey!” Toshiya whined again, before he looked at the guitarist, he looked Die up and down, yeah sure Die looked a lot more masculine then him…closing his eyes he thought about it a little more, Toshiya would have Die on his back; controlling the red haired man’s thrashings as he slowly lowered himself. Toshiya shuddered again, “Double ew.”
“Heh,” Die chuckled, “It’s unanimous.”
“You might be on top, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Kaoru likes it enough,” Die grinned while Toshiya only shook his head. “Okay, okay, hmm Toshiya and…”
“Would you stop using me!” the bassist said huffing in annoyance,
“Fine, Shinya and Kyo?”
“Kyo,” Toshiya didn’t really even have to think about it, and at the same time he really didn’t want to think about it…
“Me,” Kyo answered at the same time, fuck the height rule.
“That didn’t take long…” Die said with amusement, “Okay, Shinya and Kaoru,” Die looked at Toshiya for this one, the tall bassist frowned with thought.
“That’s hard,” Kyo said absently toying with the idea, “Kaoru…no Shinya…” Kyo shrugged,
“Shinya,” Die said after a moment, the thought of his pretty little boy submitting to the equally beautiful drummer was a fun thought to toy with, or would the drummer be under his lover? Kaoru loved to be bottom, he absolutely loved being dominated –which Die had always found ironic since he was always in control, but that was it was all about control; Kaoru craved to have someone else in control of him; Die could think of worse jobs- but would the slender looking drummer have enough control to satisfy Kaoru?
“…I’d have to say that it might go either way,” Toshiya shrugged, “I’ve never slept with Kaoru but I have fucked Shinya, I would like to say Kaoru but…”
“You’d so be top by the way,” Die pointed out, “with Kaoru,”
“Agreed.” Kyo nodded wisely. “What about Shinya and Yoshiki?”
“Yoshiki,” Toshiya and Die answered at the same time, grinning at each other then at Kyo, who glared at them,
“He’s very… top…” Kyo muttered, Die snickered, he still found it funny that Kyo was forced into the girl’s role while Yoshiki had such a past of looking so feminine, but had Yoshiki been years younger he would still be able to capture the small blond under him… such was the way of things. “Whatever, What about you? Who would be top you or Yoshiki?” Kyo directed the question at both of them at the same time.
“…” Toshiya couldn’t quite picture himself under the desk the same way as with Kaoru, but he could see himself sitting in Yoshiki’s lap nuzzling the older man the way he often liked to do while Shinya played with his hair. “Yoshiki,” He sighed, he seriously couldn’t see him managing to top Yoshiki,
“…” Die also thought about this, it wasn’t as much of a thought as it was a fantasy, he would be pushed over Yoshiki-sama’s desk… “Yoshiki,” Kyo looked smug,
“He’s just like that,” Kyo nodded,
“Who’s like what?” Kaoru asked walking into the room, pretty as pie, he cast a quick glance to make sure none of Kyo’s pets were anywhere near him before he sat at the table, he placed his well fought for markers –having been scared no less then three times by Puchi could have been Buchi, while he hunted for the markers and cleaned up the mess he’d made when he dropped the plate- on the table in front of Die.
“Nothing,” Toshiya said with a wink and Kaoru frowned,
“We were discussing…” Kyo trailed off winking conspiratorially at Toshiya, Die chuckled at the pissed look on his lover’s face. Die leaned in and spoke softly into Kaoru’s ear –not that everyone couldn’t hear anyways.
“We were wondering what would happen if you ever fucked Yoshiki-sama,” Kaoru turned about three shades of red, if not more. Die chuckled, he knew that Kaoru looked up to the pianist greatly and had most likely thought about this before; at the same time it was so fun to bother the lead guitarist…
“Yoshiki would be top,” Toshiya added with a chuckle, Kaoru glared at him, colour filling his high cheekbones.
“We should test this some time, that alright with you Kyo?” Die asked, amusing himself with the way that Kaoru tried to look pissed off and embarrassed at the same time.
“Take the old coot, well let him take Kaoru, however you want to put it,” Kyo shrugged,
“You hear that babe?” Die asked the leader who was looking increasingly annoyed,
“Didn’t you want to play a game Da-i-su-ke” He drew out the syllables, Die only grinned back,
“Right, let’s play,”
~~
“Oh fuck,” Kyo snarled,
“Yep,” Die added looking around the four hands
“Shit…” Kaoru hissed,
“Oh yeah!” Toshiya grinned widely at the three displeased men,
“Well Toshiya won that one,” Die said pointing out the painfully obvious. “So Toshi, who’s your victim?” The pretty man pursed his lips in thought, he could get Kaoru; from the band members present Kaoru was the next one he’d like, but at the same time if he did that to the leader Kaoru could exact his revenge easily. Die? Again Kaoru could exact his revenge…but why not Kyo the little bastard had been annoying all night, and he didn’t have to worry about retaliation from the band leader.
“Kyo.” The small vocalist winced at the sound of his name. Toshiya grinned evilly at the blond man, and Die just grinned, Kaoru was caught between looking on with pity or amused. “If I’m right that means off with the clothing,” Kyo rolled his eyes and stood.
“Here you go,” Die gave a marker to Toshiya and another to Kaoru, of course keeping the last one for himself. Kyo eyed the markers suspiciously before he pulled the sleeveless shirt over his head, the three snickered and Kyo glared harder at them, before quickly removing his pants. He stopped there looking at Die,
“All the way Kyo,” Die said and the small man huffed, before quickly losing his boxers as well. Standing naked in front of the three Kyo glared at them, “Now let’s leave a message for Yoshiki-sama,” Die uncapped his marker with a grin, Kyo’s eyes widened,
“What!?” Kyo backed up a step the tall red haired man moving closer, “ahhh!”
~~
Toshiya entered the house as quietly as he could, there was a softy clicking then something was sniffing his leg,
“Hey Miyu,” Toshiya cooed softly to the small dog, “Is Shinya still up?” There was a small yip from the oversized rodent…-dog. “Oh, okay,” Toshiya nodded in the darkness, could dogs see in the dark?
“You know you talk to her more then I do…”Shinya said flipping on the lights on, Toshiya squeaked at the sudden invasion of light.
“Hey Shin-chan!” Toshiya waved with one hand peeking though his fingers –which had flung up to cover his eyes- he grinned at the drummer, Shinya only rolled his eyes.
“Have fun?” Shinya asked, bending over to pick up the small dog, Miyu yipped happily, Toshiya grinned remembering his artwork on Kyo.
“Yep!” Toshiya beamed, he sauntered over to the pretty boy and slung his arms around the shorter man. He was of course careful not to crush the small dog between them,
“Get off of me, you smell like smoke,” Shinya whined, but when Toshiya kissed him he didn’t complain. There was a small squawk when Shinya dropped the dog in favour of kissing his taller lover deeper.
~~
“It’s going to take forever to get this all cleaned up,” Kaoru frowned looking at the table, and the floor surrounding it, Die wrapped his arms around the slender man from behind surveying the mess over one bony shoulder.
“It’s not so bad…”
“Compared to what? Your house?” Kaoru said giving a level look at the mess across his dinning room. Die twitched, he knew very well that Kaoru didn’t even want to set foot into his ‘den of germs and …other gross stuff’.
“I suppose…” Die sighed and nipped Kaoru’s ear playfully, “How about I help you clean it up in the morning?” Die felt the body in his arms sigh, “Aren’t you tired?”
“If I go to bed you won’t let me sleep anyways,” Kaoru said his tone light and amused, Die pressed his hips to Kaoru’s backside,
“True, true, clean in the morning?” Die asked, nibbling on Kaoru’s ear –and trying not to eat fluffy hair instead- “For me?”
“...Okay,” Kaoru twisted in his lover’s arms till he was facing away form the mess that called to him and facing his lover who wanted him more. Kaoru smiled and kissed the taller man, happy to let Die take control of him and his body, he broke the kiss with a frown, “Do you think I’m not manly enough?”
“You’re prefect just the way you are,” Die kissed him again to take his mind off of it.
~~
Kyo entered the house slowly, creeping silently he prayed that he could make it to the bathroom before anyone saw him… moving through the silent dark living room, suddenly light flooded him senses.
“Ahh!” Kyo cried throwing his hands up to protect his face,
“Kyo?” Yoshiki asked from his position in the hall, the black silky robe hanging off his body in a dashing way –as Yoshiki is unable to things in a non-sexy way.
“Don’t come near me!” Kyo shrieked scuttling away from the older man, Yoshiki raised an eyebrow looking with amusement on his small vocalist, Kyo –who was scuttling backwards with his face covered and couldn’t see- tripped over the end of the large rug and fell on his bottom.
“Don’t be silly Kyo,” Yoshiki sauntered over to the fallen –and now sulking- boy. “...What do you have on your face?” Yoshiki crouched down in front of the boy, not knowing –or most likely not caring- that the movement spread the folds of his robe allowing Kyo to drool over what could now be seen.
“…Marker,” Kyo muttered, he had dearly hoped that Yoshiki wouldn’t see, but they had made him promise to deliver the message to Yoshiki, and since the message happened to be written across his lower back spilling onto his ass he had no clue what it said. He also had a large heart on one cheek and a poorly drawn butterfly on the other.
“Should I even ask?” Yoshiki smirked knowingly at the small man, Kyo glared cutely,
“Die’s fault,” Kyo said sounding miffed, Yoshiki held out a hand to help the petite man up, and Kyo took it grudgingly.
“Die’s?” Yoshiki asked, leading Kyo to the bathroom so he could at least wash Kyo’s face off, and maybe see what else was written on the small man, after all there was a picture that spilled up his arm and under his shirt, Yoshiki noted with amusement that it was Kaoru’s drawing.
“Him and his games…” Kyo pouted, “And Toshiya for wining them…” Kyo was still pouting it wasn’t fair that they did this to him…why not Kaoru? Yoshiki tugged the shirt up until the blond man cooperated and lifted his arm up so Yoshiki could take the shirt off sure enough in large letters across his chest it declared ‘TOSHIYA WAS HERE!’ -pomplete with little hearts and stars-, Yoshiki twirled the small boy around to he could look at his back, and snorted to himself in amusement; Kyo ranted obliviously. “Toshiya did it to smite me…” Kyo pouted, ignoring Yoshiki who was reading him…
“Was Shinya there?” Yoshiki asked absently looking at the crudely drawn stick men doing inappropriate actions to each other on Kyo’s upper back and shoulder blades. That’s when he noticed it, ‘Dear Yoshiki-sama,’ He frowned and looked at it closer, the words had gotten smudged by the shirt but it was still legible.
“No, he left, damn him…”
“What’s this?” He stroked one long finger over the words and Kyo shivered,
“N-nothing,” Kyo muttered,
“It’s addressed to me.” Yoshiki deadpanned, Kyo twitched,
“It’s a message…from the others…” Kyo flushed, Yoshiki’s arm’s leaned around him unbutton his pants –the talented Mr. Hiyashi who can undo pants from behind without even looking!- and fumbling for the zipper to get the pants off so he could read the rest of the message, the curiosity was killing him.
Pants dropped and so did boxers –twice in one night- and the spacious room was filled with the sound of Yoshiki’s laughter.
‘Dear Yoshiki-sama, enclosed we have gotten you a little gift, have fun with it!
Dir en Grey’ The message was written in Die’s sloppy characters, complete with many arrows that pointed to the middle of Kyo firm ass,
“What does it say?” Kyo pouted twisting to try and see what was written on his ass. Yoshiki continued to chuckle, he rose gracefully, pulling the small boy into an embrace,
“I will enjoy it greatly say thank you to them next time you see them,” he muttered softy and Kyo made a whining noise,
“Whattttt?”
Title: Heart-shaped cookie
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Genre: sillyness NOT to be taken seriously
Rating: PG-13 for Kyo's bad mouth :0!!
Summary: Kaoru wants cookies, now.
T’was a morning like any other morning, Kaoru was sitting in his favourite chair watching Saturday cartoons and waiting for a call from a friend who was on tour. His coffee was sitting on the small table beside him, ‘I <3 Dir en grey’ mug gleaming in the sun light. And like every other morning when Doraemon was over he had a sudden attack of ‘random cookie craving syndrome’ –which was a very serious illness if left unattended, as Kyo would tell you, if left unfulfilled it can cause severe angsting. Kaoru rose swiftly form his chair and padded into the kitchen looking for a cookie fix.
The sound of a box crumpling could be heard followed by a wail of despair and the sound of someone ripping cupboards apart looking for something that couldn’t be found. About ten minutes later Kaoru gave up, there were no cookies to be found, none at all; how could have let this happen? He was a rock star dammit, was a cookie to much to ask for?! If he left now he might miss his call… but the cookies… well Aiji could leave a message he needed cookies- now.
Kaoru locked the door behind him, and pulled the black hat over his blond hair carefully. He was more or less still in his lounging clothes, but he looked presentable enough; after all no one would recognize him as Dir en Grey’s Kaoru; not even his band mates! Kaoru pushed the expensive glasses further up his nose and trotted towards the elevator that would bring him that much closer to his baked delights. Maybe since he was going out he would go to bakery instead of just the store, get him some really good cookies.
One elevator trip later and he was out on the bright street, and again that much closer to his goal. If he was quick he could get back in time to catch Afro Ken, then life would be gold. Kaoru set out the way he always did when it was Saturday and he ran out of cookie –having ate them all on Friday while watching sex in the city after practice.
Little did Kaoru know that he was being followed, a red-haired shadow watched as Kaoru left his building; smirking at how incredibly predictable the guitarist could be. Die smirked to himself and resisted the urge to cackle to himself, today would be the day he swept Kaoru off his feet. Die had a plan; a grand plan to win Kaoru over; he had been planning to for weeks; working out the details of his wonderful plan until it could not possibly fail. Today was going to be his day, Kaoru would be his.
Little did Die know that across the street a small blond –tired- fluff ball was watching the blond haired man leave his apartment as well. Lips that had been pouting lifted into a smile when he saw the taller guitarist leave his apartment building. Kyo had a plan a wonderful plan, Kaoru would be his and they could eat cookies together all the time, get through the pain of ‘random cookie craving syndrome’ together. Besides he was missing Doraemon for this; it had better be good.
Little did Kyo know that a certain man and his dog were also watching Kaoru make his way out of his building and down the street. The man turned to his dog and smiled, it had been a pain to wait but it would be worth it when he could call their leader his. After all if he was banging the leader no one could pick on him then could they? Shinya pulled on the leash to stop Miyu from sniffing a pole –that pole was very dirty looking and he had just washed Miyu. Today he would put his plan into action.
Little did Shinya know that indeed the last member of Diru had also decided that today would be a good day to go a-Kaoru-huntin’. Toshiya watched as Kaoru left his apartment building and shut the door behind him before setting off to get his cookies. Today he decided that he would go out and prove his
Kaoru was completely and totally oblivious to all of this of course; his only goal was the bakery. There was no room in his mind for anything else- the cookie lust consumed him.
Shinya decided to make his move, he was crouching behind a mail box in Kaoru’s path and he looked to his little dog.
“Okay Miyu, you know the plan tight?” One bark –one bark for yes two for no.
“Good, so when he gets close enough you run out and hump his leg,” one doggie eye roll, “Or wrap you leash around his feet right?”
One bark.
“Good girl.” Shinya smiled and patted his dog’s head.
Kaoru walked closer and Shinya was redy, then there was a loud booming bark and a large black blur ran by Kaoru scaring him and heading straight for a seemingly innocent mailbox. Miyu yelped loudly and rushed out onto the street dragging a frightened and confused Shinya with him- Miyu was a dog fleeing for her life and had developed super dog powers to drag his twig-like owner away.
Die cackled evilly, teach Shin-chan to try and ruin his plans. Indeed he had freed the large dog from where he was tied to a pole awaiting his owner, even went as far as to tip the dog off that there was a little cutie hiding behind that mail box. Now that Shinya was out of the way Die crept forward; he was free to approach Kaoru now… Wait was that Toshiya?
Toshiya grinned and snuck out of the shadows, ready to ‘accidentally bump into Kaoru’ on the street. From there he would woo the guitarist with the promise of lots of cookies and really good sex. Simple as that Kaoru would be his.
Die searched around quickly, he had to stop Toshiya from taking his chance, and he had to think of something quick. There!
Toshiya was about to turn the corner to the staged collision with Kaoru when a hand fell on his arm he twirled around quickly to look into the face of a middle aged man in a snazzy looking business suit.
“What?” He snapped annoyed and in a hurry, he was going to miss his chance!
“Why hello pretty young man,” Toshiya felt a shiver travel down his spine, ‘what the hell?’ He looked quickly and almost cursed when he noticed that Kaoru had gotten past him and was across the street already. “Your promoter told me to tell you that 'Die sent me' he told me you were good AND cheap.” The man all but purred,
“Did he now?” Toshiya growled, ready to hit this man if he got even an inch closer, ‘that little bastard’ Toshiya seethed.
“Yes…”
Die grinned and quickly moved to another shadow, Toshiya down now; it had been so easy…
”Hello sir, would you by any chance be interested in him?” Die pointed in the direction of the hiding bassist. The man looked startled then over Toshiya’s long lean frame –it wouldn’t help that he happened to be dressed to kill, in hopes of seducing Kaoru no less! He nodded slowly lecherous grin spreading over his face, “I’m his promoter,” Die smiled, to other it may seem like he was being friendly; but no this was the patented mischievous Die-grin. “He’s real good, and cheap too all you need to do is go over there and tell him that….”
It had been to easy to get rid of Toshiya and even Shinya now all that was left was to snatch up Kaoru so far his luck had been going pretty- what the hell Kyo?!!
Kyo resisted the urge to eat the bag of cookies that he was holding, they called to him so greatly. Alas they were a gift for Kaoru, so he settled for pouting ad smoking instead; he clutched the bag tightly and waited for Kaoru to walk by the alley where he was waiting. A voice behind him startled him greatly,
“So midget, how many cookies will it take to get you to go home?” Kyo whirled and looked at the tall guitarist, Die must have come from the other end of the alley, and he looked slightly breathless like he had run from somewhere else. Kyo narrowed his almost black eyes at the red-haired man.
“Not this time,” Kyo said smugly, he crossed his arms and glared at the smirking man. “No bribes.”
“Really?” Die almost purred, “Don’t you want the cookies in that bag?” Die recognized the name of the famous bakery and knew instantly that what Kyo was carrying –with Kyo what else could it be? “I’m sure they are the expensive kind, you know the really moist and chewy ones,” again with that almost purring tone, Kyo swallowed loudly. “So rich, with just enough cocoa, not to sweet, just heavenly”
“Fuck. You.” Kyo hissed, he was almost sweating, he wanted the cookies in the bag so badly it hurt, and Die was teasing him…
“I’ll buy you more,” Die said with a teasing smile, “Twenty more of those orgasmic cookies,” Kyo looked very torn at this point but not convinced, so Die continued, “And that Doraemon model you wanted…” Kyo growled deep in his throat.
“Fine, but you’re buying me cigarettes for the next two weeks too,” Kyo crossed his arms and huffed, “bitch.” He threw in after the pleased smile spread across Die’s face.
“I’ll give you the stuff during practice on Monday,”
“Whatever!” Kyo said and stomped off the way Die came down the alleyway muttering about lovesick conniving redheads.
Die grinned and then looked out the mouth of the alleyway, oh no! Kaoru was almost at the bakery…Die rushed out to catch him, all would be for nought if he let Kaoru get away now!
So close Kaoru could almost taste the cookies, he had not noticed anything weird on his entire trip aside form the time he had been surprised by that dog- people really shouldn't be letting their dogs run around without leashes on…
“Kaoru!” A hand threading with his stopped him and made him turn to look at the man who stopped him. It was Die, all out of breath and sweating. Kaoru looked at him confused; his mind still on the doors that were not even a block away, beyond them lay the holy grail or at least his personal equivalent. “I wanted to tell you something,”
“Mmm,” Kaoru answered, his focus already gone and back with the cookies.
“I love you.” ‘Cookie, cookie, cookie,… WHAT?!’ Kaoru blinked at him looking shocked and confused. “I love you Kaoru,”
“…Oh,” Kaoru said lamely, what was he supposed to say? All he wanted was a cookie and here Die was saying he loved him…
“Kaoru I love you and I want to fuck you…” Die grinned and dug in his pocket with the hand that wasn’t holding the slim guitarist’s wrist. “I made you this.”
Kaoru blushed slightly when Die said that, that wasn’t the type of thing that you heard everyday… then Die was holding it out to him and he felt his heart melting, awww.
The cookie was shaped in a perfect heart, and even had Die’s name written on it in red icing. Kaoru looked at the cookie, then into Die’s intense eyes.
“Well okay…” Kaoru took the cookie and held it close to his own heart; how sweet –indeed literally and figuratively.
“Good,” Die let go of Kaoru’s wrist to grab him and kiss his deeply, Kaoru melded against him perfectly. It felt so nice to have the small guitarist pressed up against him like that; he was glad that he had gone though so much trouble to claim his Kaoru.
Kaoru found that he liked kissing Die, he liked it better then cookies.
For those of you that somehow didn't know... this is Afro Ken
He's a dog with an Afro... It's a childrens show in Japan...and rather amusing xDD with a HELLA LOTA merchandise...
and this is Doraemon
He's a cat with a magical pouch and it's also a children's cartoon in Japan, I actually have a figurine of him in my bathroom, he's mega-popular, Kyo loves him ^.^;; so I threw him in here too...
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Date: 2005-09-18 07:16 pm (UTC)