(no subject)

[snoozing_kitten]

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.

"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.

Inside the garage was the state troopers car.



Toshiya lay on the floor on Kyo’s bedroom floor; he was laying on his back staring at the ceiling. There was silence, aside from the sound of the shower running, and if Toshiya listened hard enough he could hear the smallest noise. He lay perfectly still, Kyo had taught him once that this was the best way to get them to come out. ‘They like the smell of shampoo so if you lay down on the floor they will come to sniff your hair’ Shinya had told him that Kyo was lying but since whenever he looked he couldn’t find them he figured he would give it a try.

So there he was laying on the floor in the middle of Kyo’s bedroom, waiting for the small noises to get louder. Waiting, waiting and watching; much like the situation with Die. Die of course wasn’t going anywhere with Shinya, Die was far to slow to realize that poor Shinya liked him. Toshiya felt sorry for Shinya, cursed to like someone as slow as Die –and jeez they all thought he was air headed!- so Toshiya figured he would help the other boy as much as he possibly could. Die needed to be shown what was right under his nose, and then maybe he would stay together with Shinya? After all Shinya was sweet, he was pretty; he was smart… that would fix Die wouldn’t it? Toshiya frowned, his keen ears picking up the patter of small feet, he didn’t even breathe, they were getting closer. Kaoru on the other hand seemed to be changing, less grumpy, less…alone…Toshiya couldn’t figure it out, there had been a trigger of sorts had he gotten a friend? Toshiya would have shrugged had the small pitter-patter of feet not gotten closer still, Kaoru was a bit of an oddity to him, the other seemed to be almost frightened of people, and despite his good looks he didn’t have friends. Yoshiki was just what the quiet boy needed, the older man would shelter him and show him the ways of the world, it would be so romantic.

OMG! That was the biggest shirt that Master had ever thrown on the ground! They watched it for a long time; it just laid there like a shirt would, not moving. Closer and closer they crept, never far from each other, after all they had been together since the day they were born, and with Master not long after that. Still closer to the good smelling shirt they crept, had master left it them for them to eat? It smelled good, and it looked tasty…like a really big cookie. Master said cookies weren’t good for them, but when he left them laying around they loved to eat them, always sharing like good brothers.

‘What could it be?’ Asked one to the other,

‘I know not, did Master leave it?’

‘Must have, there is no one else, but Master here.’ Which was true, even if they liked it when Master brought his friends over. They liked it even better when Master would bring them outside with him, everything smelled so good out there, like…like not-dirty clothing. Living on the floor they often played in the inking pens Master would leave around and the laundry was like a playground.

‘That’s it; a little closer’ Toshiya thought, there was movement out of the corner of his eye; they were getting closer.

“Toshiya what are you doing?” Kyo asked, looking down at the man laying on his floor.

‘MASTER!’ They squeaked in unison, rushing out to crawl over his feet, at the same time Toshiya smiled.

“Nice shower Kyo?” He asked, eyeing the dripping blond, Kyo was ignoring him now, smiling fondly at the two rodents running around over his feet hyper-actively squeaking.

“There they are…” Toshiya said sitting up and glaring at the two rodents, they hoped off under Kyo’s desk at a pace that he didn’t think such small creatures could attain.

“You scared them,” Kyo frowned before moving over to his dresser to change.

“They wouldn’t come out and play…” Toshiya said with a pout, keeping his back turned to the dressing blond –not that Kyo cared anyways.

OMG! THE SHIRT MOVED!!!! They ran to the bed that Kyo made from them, hiding from the giant. Clinging together they watched as Master wandered around the room getting dressed, and as the monster, which now that they thought about it looked more like Toshiya –Master’s friend- but still he had scared him, and so they weren’t coming out.

“Puchi, Buchi, come get your food,” Kyo called, setting the small blue food dish full of seeds on the ground, in a flash two small light brown creatures shot out from under his desk to feast on the offered food.

“Aww they are so cute!” Toshiya squealed, like Shinya had Miyu, Kyo had Puchi and Buchi. Like Shinya had… was Kyo lonely? Toshiya looked over Kyo with sharp eyes the other was smiling and petting one of them, cooing its name –how could he tell them apart?!- Toshiya wondered if he needed to make plans to get Kyo together with anyone…hmmm, he would think about it later; once Shinya was settled with Die, and everyone was happy would he start to interfere…help Kyo with his love life or lack thereof –ignoring his own absence of romance.

~~

Die was looking at himself in the full-length mirror in his room, his hair looked good, perfectly styled, the blackish roots and the bright red spikes. It made his face look angular and dashing –or so he liked to think- he wore a tight black t-shirt, it had some obscure English band name on it. Simple blue jeans, and his wristbands and he looked complete…for a movie at home…he frowned.

“Arg!” Die glared at his reflection, he changed his shirt so then he was wearing a loose black sleeveless shirt it said ‘NYC SEX’ in sparkly pink letters. Smiling at his reflection he slipped his wallet into his pocket, he gave a last wink at his reflection before he slipped through the living room; stopping he noticed with horror that his living room was a mess.

“Fuck,” Die swore before he quickly began fluttering around the house tiding things.

~~

“Fuck,” Kaoru cried looking at his reflection, friend you are his friend, this isn’t a date! He all but screeched to himself while he tore apart his wardrobe looking for the perfect outfit to look casual, but stylish. Finally he decided on a white shirt that said ‘shocker’ across the chest, with three hot pink stars under it. The shirt was semi-tight, the sleeves going almost down to his elbows none the less. He wore a white wristband with it and a black choker, beige cargo pants and he was complete, his hair was brushed the light pink part was fluffy and soft, the black was thoroughly blushed and tamed, hanging loosely half way down his back. ‘Not casual enough’ he thought looking at his perfectly tamed hair, he picked up a hot pink elastic and quickly tied back the long part into a loose knot at the base of his neck.

“Better…” Sighing he traveled into the bathroom to find his contacts,

He came out five minutes later cursing fluently, and looking for his glasses. Glancing at his watch he kicked at a black book laying on the ground- his ‘journal’-

“Son of a shrew,” he muttered, not even stopping to think about the absurdity of what he just said. His glasses case was of course on his night stand, where it always was, grabbing his keys he was out the door.

~~

Die frowned at his watch as he rushed out the door, he still needed to pick up dinner –take out is romance food- and if he didn’t hurry he wouldn’t be back in time to meet Kaoru.

“Daisuke,” he froze, the curse sitting on the tip of his tongue,

“Auntie,” He said his voice, pleading, making a bit of a show glancing at his watch.

“Don’t Auntie me, you’ve been ignoring me,” she gave him a faked sad look, “have you found another woman?” She asked, eyes welling with fake tears.

“Auntie, don’t be like that, you’re the only woman for me!” which in some twisted way was quite true.

“But you’ve been busy lately, no time for an old woman and her cooking…”

“I love your cooking!” Die cried, ‘Kaoru!’ his mind insisted, you need to get going NOW!

“Well then you’ll have to come in and taste some soup I made,”

“No,” Die began, “ I really need to get moving, I’m sorry Auntie,” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, before rushing off down the hall in a flurry of red hair and black material.

“Tsk, children,” Auntie muttered, going back inside, what had gotten into Daisuke? Her little Daidai, had always had time for his Auntie, even when that Izam had been coming around, or when Die had been with that what’s his name? Hisashi? Or was it Yasu?…Jiro? All of the names sounded familiar, Die was a bit of a slut. Shrugging and still thinking she went inside to watch some soaps, what was Die doing out at this time his favourite was on…

“Is that all?” He muttered, to himself while skipping down the stairs, he felt bad having brushed off Auntie like that but he needed for this night to go well. He felt the need to impress Kaoru, if all went well maybe he could make Kaoru his? He grinned at the thought, that was be asking for a lot, but would he be lucky! Out the front door and down the street to the Chinese food place down the street.

Kaoru hurried down the street, hands in his pockets, looking at his feet ‘hurry, hurry, hurry’ he chanted in his mind, he was going to be late, hopefully Die wouldn’t be mad at him. Maybe it was nerves but he wanted things to go smoothly, what if? What if… Die really did want him, and made his moves tonight, he flushed a bit, he sounded like a silly schoolgirl.

“Kaoru!” He looked up, and to the side, where the voice came from the other side of the street, where….

Thunk!

“Owww fuck…”

“Kaoru!” The call sounded again; closer this time, “Are you alright?” Die was beside him; Kaoru was holding his hands to his face, Die pried them away slowly.

“’m fine” Kaoru muttered, Die was looking at him so with such worry in his eyes. His shoulder –what had smacked the pole, his face had been towards the street- hurt so much.

“Are you sure?” Die looked at Kaoru, how many times could one person hit a pole? Looking around he almost wanted to laugh, “You know I think this is the same pole…” Kaoru looked around, his slightly dazed eyes watching his surroundings.

“I think it is…” Kaoru gave a brief glare at the pole, “I really don’t like that thing…” He muttered, at it hissing softly.

“I do,” Die surprised himself by saying, Kaoru looked at him, adorably confused,

“Why?” That pole only eventually meant pain for him.

“Because it gave me an excuse to meet you,” Die smirked at the shorter man, and Kaoru flushed,

“I suppose it has its better side,” ‘yeah the ones I don’t hit…’ Die smirked, before kissing Kaoru softly on the lips, the other froze, and Die almost chuckled. It was a brief kiss; over as fast as it began, Kaoru touching his lips self-consciously; his eyes darted around to see if anyone had been watching them.

“You’re to funny,” Die said with a small laugh, “are you sure your fine?”

“Y-yeah, I wasn’t going to fast,” Kaoru looked up at Die, then remembered soft lips on his and quickly looked away.

“That’s good,” Die laughed, “I’ve got food to make it all better,” Die held up the bag of Take out and Kaoru smiled,

“Smells good.” He laughed and Die led the way to his apartment building.




Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face."


Die had Kaoru sitting on the couch; the slender man was hugging himself looking small and alone. Die made a small smile, you really couldn’t tell these days who was royally mindfucked and who wasn’t… Die thought, and then those people don’t think they are, because there is always someone out there who is just a little more messed up then you. Take Die for example, he couldn’t keep one lover for more then a month before he felt the biological urge to move on, he wasn’t shallow he cared for each lover he had and it must have been some sort of masochistic desire that led him forwards to fresh pain.

“So want some rice?” Die placed the paper bag full of takeout on the table, he sat on the couch next to the other who was looking at his socked feet; Die had to smile Kaoru’s socks were red and green with little reindeer on them.

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten yet” Kaoru didn’t look at Die; instead he fixed his eyes on the paper bag, that looked like a lot of food, did Die think he was a pig? Or did Die think he was too skinny? Or to fat? To think that he could eat so much food. He noticed this with a small rational part of his brain that wasn’t desperately trying to think of something to tell Die, some excuse as to why he had broken down like that. ‘To much studying’? ‘The alien implants make him emotionally unstable’? Kaoru rejected each one as he thought of it, could he just tell Die the truth? Nope, that wouldn’t be acceptable; after all he would sound even weirder if he told Die that he freaked out because he had been…thinking too much, that even sounded lame to him.

“You’ll love it, the place down the street is cheap and the food is delicious!” Die’s enthusiasm was a bit fake a bit strained, after all what was he supposed to do when his date started crying for no reason he could see? “You should try some of their lemon chicken, I think it is somewhere in here, he began unpacking the food. Die grinned at the selection, he hadn’t known what Kaoru liked so he bought a little of everything, as a plus there would be leftovers for when Kyo came over next to help him *clean* his refrigerator.

“Is it? I’ve never been there,” if Die’s enthusiasm was a bit forced, Kaoru’s answer was a bit subdued.

“Shinya loves the ribs, wouldn’t think he could eat that much” Die trailed off for a second thinking, “Toshiya loves the spicy soup, Kyo’ll eat anything you put in front of him, you really have to be careful he doesn’t eat the little packets that come with new electronic stuff that says ‘do not eat’, he loves to try and eat those.”

“What do you like?” Die stopped his rambling; Kaoru was looking at him, a small frown on his pretty face.

“I like the rice,” Die smiled, “I love chicken” he shrugged,

“You seem like more of a beef type,”

“Shinya really likes beef,”

“Really?” Kaoru felt better, laughing so hard he was almost sobbing had lifted a weight off his shoulders, all this going on in his life with no one to talk to had started to build up in a sort of emotional pressure; and school work had been a bitch, maybe it was his odd schedule –working at night- that left him a wreck. He didn’t care it was in the past –a quite inopportune time- but still it was in the past.

“Yeah, he doesn’t seem the type does he?”

“Nope, I see him as a more new age free the animal slavery type,” Kaoru answered with a nod, he broke apart a pair of cheep wooden chopsticks, glaring at the way they broke unevenly.

“He loves his meat, he hates vegetables,” Die grinned, “besides Toshiya believes in the whole ‘save the whale’ shit” Die stuck out his tongue.

“Don’t you want to save all the cute baby whales?” Kaoru smiled before opening one of the unlabeled containers.

“Save ‘em in the fridge.” Kaoru snorted, Die grinned at him, he was happy that Kaoru seemed fine but he still felt cautious; like Kaoru was some precious easily broken toy.

“What’s this?” He looked at the concoction of vegetables and a few other ingredients that weren’t immediately recognizable; and showed it to Die.

“No clue,” Die shrugged with a grin and used his own chopsticks to pick up a small bite and ate it. “‘S good though,”

“You’re crazy,” Kaoru muttered with a smile, he took a bite himself, it was good a little spicy for his taste, but not bad.

“Thank you,” Die muttered, before carefully searching though all the unlabeled containers for the one that held his fried rice. “I borrowed this from Auntie; a long long time ago…, want to watch it?”

“Sure, why not?” Kaoru smiled, Die only nodded back and opened another container, and he let out a small exclamation of joy,

“Found it.” Kaoru raised an eyebrow at the other man who was smiling and licking his lips in anticipation of his much sought after fried rice.

“You look like a cat that just caught the canary,” Kaoru muttered; Die looked at him oddly,

“Canary?”

“It’s a bird,”

“I know that,” Die pouted, now even Kaoru thought he was dumb? Toshiya already treated him like an idiot, he got higher marks then Toshiya could even dream of!

“Cats have this really satisfied look on their faces after they finally catch the bird to eat it, and you look like the cat about to eat,” Kaoru explained as if he were talking to a child, Die’s pout sure made him look younger…

“About to eat the bird…” the hunt, the chase, the capture and the eating, that sounded familiar, “will you be my canary?” Die asked innocently, Kaoru choked on his food.

“You,” cough, “want to,” swallow –with much difficulty-, “eat me?” Kaoru’s face was slightly red –embarrassment, or lack of air take; your pick- he glared as well as he could at the smirking older man.

“You look like you would taste good, a little bony though,” Die laughed at Kaoru’s affronted look. “More meat on Shinya’s dog.”

“So you do think that I’m skinny,” Kaoru narrowed his eyes at the pile of food, “You’re trying to fatten me up so that you can eat me…”

“Is that what you think?” Die frowned, Kaoru was thin, but the underfed lanky look seemed to fit the other man. The glasses perched on the end of his small nose made his face look even thinner, like a grinning skeleton, but defiantly sexier.

“I warn you I don’t taste good!” Kaoru’s smile came back, and he lifted the DVD case off of the short table –from under a can of soda-

“I’m sure you’ll taste delicious,” Die all but laughed when Kaoru faltered, his face flushing lightly, what a little pervert Kaoru was; always thinking such dirty things… Die grinned wickedly –Kyo would be proud. Kaoru opened the case and moved to the DVD player to start the movie.

“How do you turn this on?” Kaoru asked, bent over the DVD player on the floor, Die almost groaned, Kaoru’s slim ass in the air ‘just like that…’ “…Die?” Kaoru turned and looked over his shoulder expectantly, Die eyes fixed on him without really seeing him.

“The button on the top left,” Die shook his head slightly to clear it of all thoughts –not a hard thing to do mind you.

“…Thank you,” Kaoru mumbled, he turned on the DVD player and let out a silent breath, ‘oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…’ he thought, that look, it was like Die was trying to devour him with his eyes. Chocolate eyes deepened with lust, looking down at him from above, the embrace of the couch under him, the material pressing into his naked skin. Kaoru bit down on his lip hard ‘oh my god, oh my god, oh my god’. Straightening he quickly walked back to the couch and sat down, Die smiled at him and he wanted to scuttle away from the grinning red head.

“Let’s get this party started,” Die laughed and Kaoru forced a chuckle, still painfully aware of every move that the other made, every smile and every gesture.

“What are we watching?” Kaoru said this while of course holding the case for the DVD, you know just to make sure Die knew just how bright a boy he chose.

“You tell me.” Die laughed and Kaoru blinked at him owlishly, confusion written across his pretty features.

“Whaa,” Kaoru blinked a few times, Die smiled at him –and what a pretty smile Die had, pretty lips- Kaoru blushed suddenly and looked at his hands suddenly; noticing the case, “oh!” he exclaimed softly, he grinned sheepishly though his bangs again.

“Smart cookie,” Die snickered –he’d heard Shinya call his dog that before when the little dog would purposely offend bigger dogs in the park or Kyo- Kaoru made a face at him.

“That’s so lame,” Kaoru laughed –a sort of forced giggle actually- and looked again at the case in his lap, “Formula 17…” He read out loud, he squinted at the case trying to make sense of the squiggles finally giving up he poured slightly at the other man, “I don’t read Chinese,”

“It’s a romance comedy,” Die laughed when Kaoru’s eyes lit up with a smile, “It’s in Taiwanese,” Kaoru made a small face, “with subtitles of course” Die chuckled and fished around for the remote again.

“You’ve seen it?” Kaoru was delighted that Die would sit though a movie like this for him, but he didn’t want to be a boring date…friend.

“Um-hum,” Die said distractedly, hand up to mid arm in the couch –which had a taste for remotes- “Can I look under your butt?”

“What!” Kaoru blushed, not expecting the sudden request, Die looked at his with a smile on his lips and laughter in his eyes, clearly amused by Kaoru’s embarrassment, and clear perversion of everything he had said this night.

“The remote,” Die said, “It’s under your butt, unless you want you be felt up I would move,” Kaoru blinked at him a couple of times before he quickly moved out of the way so that Die could fetch the remote, “it likes you.”

“What do you mean?” Kaoru said sitting back down after Die had moved,

“Every time you are here, you sit on the remote…” Die laughed and Kaoru looked lost in thought for a second.

“Heh, it must like my ass,”

“Who doesn’t?” Die grinned, running lecherous eyes over said piece of anatomy.

“!!!” Kaoru tried to sink into the cushions much to the other man’s amusement.

“…” Die was going to say more just to freak out the other boy but he decided to be nice to the poor thing for now; and hit play on the remote, he leaned back in the couch and continued to devour his rice, he also had his eye on the beef soup…

~~

Kaoru yawned, he found himself a lot closer to the taller man then he remembered being at the beginning of the movie; funny how that happens ne? Being a little too drowsy to care he just settled in further while the credits rolled. Die had been zoning out while the movie ended, until a sharp elbow threatened to take his breath away, wincing to himself he looked down to see if Kaoru was trying to get his attention or was just a sadist, the thought of it being an accident never crossed his mind. The sight of the smaller man nuzzling the material of his shirt made him grin madly. The first thought that went parading across him mind was ‘hey maybe I’ll get laid tonight?’ followed closely by ‘Aww he’s so kawaii’

“Hey, Kao,” Die poked the small man, and was rewarded with a small noise that could have meant many things; ranging from, ‘I’m listening’ to ‘Yes Die you can have your way with me’, grinning he poked the small man again.

“What?” The other asked, Die was so warm now that he was closer and he smelled good, he was stuffed with food and all he wanted to do was sleep it off.

“You tired?”

“What do you think,” Kaoru hissed back, Die chuckled a bit and the sound swirled thought Kaoru, shaking him lightly, as he was close to the source of the sound.

“I think you are.”

“Bingo,” Kaoru said with more then a fair hint sarcasm

“Want to spend the night?” Die asked, more then a fair hint of hope in his voice, sleepy eyes raised to look at him, Kaoru looked like a fluffy kitten. “You’re not that small, you can shower here and borrow some clothes.” Die was rambling slightly so Kaoru pinched him. “Oww,” Die pouted.

“I’ll stay,” Kaoru agreed softly, a sudden smile crossing his face, “Do I get the couch?”




A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"


Die sat in his room, the lights were on, but the door was closed, the books were spread out in front of him, three texts in total, and he was reading the one on his lap. Die frowned at an unfamiliar English word and flipped though the pages of his dictionary to find its meaning. Yes, he’d ditched his homework in favour of spending time with Kaoru, but really who wouldn’t? Speaking of which the pretty –if not a little clumsy- boy was crashed on his couch sleeping peacefully, Die sighed in frustration. There was a sexy boy sleeping on his couch and he didn’t want to force him into anything; he’d seen Kaoru passed out while he put the food in his fridge; the boy had lost his pants, and was sleeping easily in his black boxers and his large shirt. It was around that time Die fled to his room, not thinking about pretty boys on his couch.

Die turned to his books again, eyes scanning tiredly though the texts, he had high marks in this course; but it wouldn’t do to get sloppy now. Die was about to lose himself in the translating of the English play when there was a muffled thump outside his door.

“Ouch, shit,” He smiled to himself, that would be Kaoru now… there was a small pause and then his door opened, Kaoru peeked in, seeing Die sitting on his bed looking at him he squeaked. “’M sorry,” he muttered looking embarrassed,

“It’s fine, bathroom?” he asked, Kaoru looked adorable, his eyes were narrowed against the light, his face paled further by sleep, his pink hair tousled cutely; Die wondered if Kyo could be cuter if he tried.

“Yeah…” Kaoru looked at his toes, his cheeks were flushed slightly, Die laughed, “Lots of water…” Kaoru muttered before he closed the door and padded away. Die shook his head and went back to his book, about a minute passed, there was the sound of a toilet flushing and water running,

“I wonder if Kaoru remembers the carpet this time?” Die said out loud, his deep voice followed by the distinct sound of something crashing to the ground. Die snickered, “You’re getting predictable Kao,” Die gracefully crawled off his bed and made his way across his room, he opened the door and the light from his room spilled out into the hall. Kaoru had picked himself up enough so that he was sitting, the shirt pulled up; a small flash of light skin. Die looked down at Kaoru,

“The carpet…” Kaoru muttered sleepily,

“Yeah,” Die said, Kaoru was squinting at him and he offered a hand up for the fallen man.

“It’s mean,” Kaoru said, being lifted easily to his feet,

“So are poles, fridges, and ice cream,” Kaoru flushed, his cheeks tingeing pink, “So it seems,”

“Only you,” Kaoru said his eyes darting away self consciously, Die looked at him with confusion.

Kaoru wanted to scream, why had he said that? He couldn’t even play it off as something else, well nothing he could think of; not when he was tired and Die was looking at him. He was almost squirming under the gaze, Die was looking really hot in his boxers and a white wife beater, Kaoru noted absently that his boxers matched his hair; and what was he doing just standing there? Run away! Looking around he was about to turn and walk away when Die’s warm hand gripped his wrist; he thrilled at the contact.

“Only me what?” Die’s tone was light but at the same time he wanted to know what Kaoru was going to say. Die looked into Kaoru’s eyes, they were slightly scared darting around for an exit, defiantly awake now. He pulled Kaoru closer via his wrist and the shorted man allowed himself to be pulled closer hesitantly.

“…” Kaoru’s mind was going into red alert again, the little Kaoru’s that operated his brain all screaming as the mind over heated with the force of his blush, screaming ‘abandon ship!’ they took turns parachuting out his ear.

“Is this about that kiss?” Die asked, he drew Kaoru right up to his chest; all the little Die’s in his head were doing a victory dance, flashing peace signs and all.

“N-no,” Kaoru stuttered, his composure was blown far far away by now, he was so close to Die, he could felt the heat of the other man through the heat of his thin ‘shocker’ shirt and Die’s cotton shirt.

“Then what about me?” Die asked; he was scant centimetres from having Kaoru pressed up against him in a defiantly arousing way, the small man looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

“O-only you ever see me like that, you make me do it…” Kaoru squirmed, his body felt all hot and he felt like if only Die moved away a little he could breath. Die smirked at the man he held captive,

“Well, you make me do *this*,” Die grinned at Kaoru’s confused face before he stole a kiss, a demanding hard kiss but a kiss none the less. Die was very happy, even as Kaoru stilled in his arms, then gradually began to cling to him as they kissed. Die let Kaoru’s lips go with a wet noise and the smaller man clung to him panting; his lips already starting to bruise from the harsh treatment.

“Do I make you do this too?” Kaoru asked, thought was gone –with the mini Kao’s who parachuted to safer territories- and the hot body pressed against his drove him mad, one kiss was all it takes to break his sanity. He pressed himself tighter against the larger body thrilling with the feel of Die’s arousal, Die moaned softly and Kaoru was slammed harshly back into his head, ‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod’ Kaoru felt Die grind his hips back and forced down his panic. Die’s hot, he cute, he’s funny, why wouldn’t you want to do this? They’ve only known each other for about a month, normally Kaoru would wait a little longer before sleeping with someone…, and he’s not Yoshiki…

Die was lost in the heat that coursed though his body, Kaoru made an odd whimpering noise, so Die kissed him again.

‘Die stop that, you make me want to give in’ Die’s tongue pushed into his mouth, playing with his own, tasting of mint and spice; Kaoru moaned into the kiss… ‘Gave in.’ He thought while clinging desperately to Die’s shoulders, he let Die grind into him, even thrusting his hips back.

‘Fast, fast, fast, to fast!’ Die thought while he thoroughly enjoyed Kaoru’s mouth, this was moving really fast. Sure he had been the one who invited Kaoru over for the night, sure he was the one who sat there and fantasized about getting laid tonight. ‘Faster, faster, faster,’ he fell against the wall with a thump Kaoru’s against his chest.

“Die…” Kaoru panted, his lips were defiantly swollen now, they felt all tingly, and Die was trying to initiate another, “Die,” he said again.

“Hm?” Die looked at Kaoru; with him leaning a bit they were almost the same height, Die wiped the silly grin from his face trying to look serious. Kaoru looked at him, he chewed his lip sexily; Die wanted to kiss him very badly right in that moment.

“Ahh…” Kaoru realized that he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say; he hadn’t foreseen this happening…tonight. Well at least this cleared one thing up…

Die did like him. He could feel the proof of that pressed into his waist.

“…Yes I do like you. No I’m not carrying any diseases. No I don’t mean to leave you after tonight. Can we have sex now?” Die gave him a pleading look and Kaoru laughed,

“I don’t see why not…” Kaoru grinned and placed a quick kiss on Die’s lips, the other followed him and snatched his breath away in another deep kiss. “Mmmm,”

Die grinned into the kiss, this was so perfect he’d should have seen this kind of climax for his encounter with Kaoru, they met when he ran into a pole, they kissed when he walked into the pole again, and they were going to have sex because he tripped over a rug.

“Good,” Die wrapped his arms around Kaoru’s slim waist, and pulled the slender man harshly against him, Kaoru cried out, his eyes falling closed, Die grinned madly. “You’re so pretty,”

“No I’m not…” Kaoru looked like he would have been pouting had he not been panting and pushing his hips into Die’s.

“Right…” Die kissed Kaoru’s throat, nudging the pink haired man’s head back with his own so he could kiss Kaoru’s Adam’s apple tenderly. “Arms up,” Die said slipping his hands under Kaoru’s shirt, running his finger’s along the smooth skin, Kaoru sighed contently and lifted his arms above his head so that Die could strip away his shirt and toss it aside.

“Mmmm, I hope your bed is as comfortable as your couch,” Kaoru murmured, Die grinned, all the others had liked his couch too, he wisely didn’t say that.

“Oh it’s perfect, but if you want the couch…” Die purred, Kaoru laughed,

“Bed on the first date,” Kaoru chided, and Die laughed,

“So is it to much to ask to tie you up on the first date then?” Die grinned,

“I’ll have to think about that one,” Die pushed off from the wall and pulled his own shirt over his head flinging it away. Kaoru stepped back and looked at the taller man, he could feel his saliva glands working over time. God Die was hot! Again with sounding like a teenaged girl. Die’s body was perfect, his muscles lean but firm and *really* nice abs Kaoru was drooling and becoming more and more self-conscious of his own bony frame.

“Like what you see?” Die smirked and posed sexily, Kaoru blushed a bit, Die’s boxers were starting to ride low and Kaoru was about to faint.

“Yesss,” Kaoru hissed, Die smirked at him so he licked his lips in return, Die groaned softly,

“Come here,” Die said, his voice was deep and coloured by lust for the smaller man, Kaoru only smiled teasingly at him, Die was quicker then Kaoru and his hand shot out catching Kaoru’s wrist in a firm grasp. Kaoru couldn’t even struggle as he was pulled against Die’s chest again, Die groaned softly.

Die felt Kaoru shift against him; soft skin sliding against soft skin in a most pleasing way. Die wondered if he had seen them here way back when he’d first met him, who was he kidding; he’d been imagining this since he first laid eyes on the sweet body he was holding right now.

“Die?” Kaoru asked and Die only smiled, he had pulled a ‘Kaoru’ spacing out while in thought.

“Thinking about you,” Die only winked and Kaoru looked like he was about to melt. Die managed to manoeuvre them to the bedroom with a surprising amount of grace; they fell onto the bed in a bouncy tangle of limbs. Die fell on top of the pink haired man, careful not to crush him, and grinned happily down at him. Kaoru rolled his eyes,

“You look like the cat again,” He murmured, his licked at Die’s lips, lapping at slightly swollen flesh, tasting but not giving into a kiss.

“Then do I get to eat you now?” Die asked, grinning, Kaoru’s had his hands around Die’s neck, short fingers fidgeting with the short hairs on the nape of Die’s neck, Die’s own hands were stroking his tummy affectionately.

“Yeah…but first…” Kaoru arched up, wiggling his hips, and entire body so he could flip them; Die rolled to his side so that they were in flipped position. Kaoru was straddling the smirking man under him; Die only sat up on his elbows but made no move to stop the rose haired man. “Let’s see…” Kaoru hadn’t had sex very often; being anti social and all, but he wasn’t an idiot –or so he liked to think.

Kaoru lowered his lips to kiss Die, he tried to dominate the kiss, but even as Die easily out-kissed him Kaoru found that he really didn’t care, there was no shame in being out classed –kissing wise- by sexy red heads. Kaoru broke the kiss, his lips were parted sexily and his eyes half lidded, Die wanted to flip them again so he could rip Kaoru’s boxers from him and have his way.

“Kao…” He began and trailed off in a groan as small hands began to pinch his nipples curiously,

“Can I bite?” Kaoru asked, he looked sheepish, and Die had to restrain another moan,

“Hell yessss...” Die trailed off; a hot mouth had descended, nipping lightly along his collarbone; small licks soothing small stings. Die arched, and Kaoru gripped the sheets on either side of him harder –so as to not be thrown off- and smiled against Die’s skin.

“Can I bite hard?” Kaoru asked playfully, it was like his best fantasy come to life, or some really cheesy porn video.

“Please,” Die said, Kaoru had turned out to be better in reality then he thought, and here he was hoping for a blushing virgin that would sit back and let him – Die lost his train of thought, electricity ran though his system, shorting his brain and traveling straight to his erection. Kaoru had latched onto the tawny nub with his mouth and was worrying sensitive nerves with small white teeth. “Ahh Kaoru!” Die cried, Kaoru shifted to that he was rubbing himself against Die’s covered erection, “Nnnn,” Die moaned, Kaoru’s other hands strayed to his other nipple while he continued to rub his hips, “God Kaoru where did you learn that?” Kaoru raised his head to look teasingly at the man under him.

“You don’t want to know,” Kaoru laughed, one to many hentai animes and dramas, though he’d never imagined himself as the girl –minus dreams about Yoshiki and the white horse- but here he was using all his knowledge to give Die pleasure.

“You’re right,” Die flopped back onto his back and let Kaoru play some more. Kaoru looked back to his canvas, a chest full of clear milky white skin, and him, with his mouth. Kaoru descended in a series of nips that followed the path of ribs and Die couldn’t help but laugh, Kaoru again sat up and looked down at Die one eyebrow arched elegantly “What?”

“Sorry,” Die muttered, it was his turn to look sheepish, “Your hair; it tickles…” Kaoru frowned for a moment, his hair –which had been freed; the pink elastic around his slim wrist- was trailing over Die’s chest, deep black against pale skin.

“You’re ticklish?” Kaoru asked, he raised his slender arms above his head, inadvertently stretching sexily; Die ran his hands up the slender chest, smooth skin gliding under his hands. Kaoru cried out, he’d only been trying to tie his hair back, he arched further into the touch, his spine bending in ways that most people didn’t do on a regular basis.

“I am, are you?” Die fluttered his hands on pale sides and Kaoru let out a gasp,

“Daisuke, don’t you dare!” Die grinned, that sounded disturbingly like something his mother would say…

“Do what?” His hands stilled and Kaoru looked at him suspiciously, eyes narrowed, his fingers were caught in the elastic and his hair, so he couldn’t lower his arms; he continued to glare while he hurriedly tried to tie his hair out of the way. Die let Kaoru finish and lower his arms before he flipped them, Kaoru gasped as he was suddenly tossed sideways.

“Don’t do that!” Kaoru gasped, he was laying on his back now; looking up at Die who was grinning like a big kid down at him again,

“I thought you didn’t want me to tickle you…” Die said, he grabbed one slim wrist in each hand; he raised them above Kaoru’s head and gathered them into one hand, Kaoru bucked against him.

“Die!” He cried out, trying to free his wrists –not to hard mind you- and squirming;

“Yes?” Die asked, with one handing holding Kaoru’s hands captive he lowered his face to Kaoru’s neck, he moved damp hair away with his free hand. He ran his hand down Kaoru’s side and the slender man shuddered. Die then proceeded to bite down harshly on the sweet skin, Kaoru cried out and arched against him, “Did that hurt?” Die growled,

“Nnnn,” Kaoru only moaned so Die took that as a ‘move along’, he suckled on the abused skin, swathing the bruise with hot licks from his tongue.

“You’re mine,” Die hissed, and sat back on his knees to admire his handy work, Kaoru was panting, eyes shut tight, head thrown to the side, there on the pale expanse of throat was an angry red coloured area, already deepening to a pretty purple, Die could make out marks from his teeth, he grinned devilishly. “Wouldn’t you agree?” Die asked politely, Kaoru looked at him through narrowed eyes,

“Stop teasing me,” his voice was almost a whine and Die could only smirk wider, he felt like the luckiest man alive right now.

“But you’re so damn sexy,” Die admitted, Kaoru looked pleased.

Die proceeded to bath Kaoru with his tongue, hot wet swipes over the pale expanse of skin, paying extra attention to sensitive nipples and throat. Kaoru was reduced to a pile of moaning goo under Die’s talented tongue, he could do nothing more then desperately cling to the taller man while his nerves were set alight one by one.

Die was kissing Kaoru senseless when he felt small hands tugging urgently on his boxers, one hand slipped under the elastic and caressed the soft flesh underneath, Die grinned into the kiss, moaning appreciatively as well. There was a wet noise as they separated, Kaoru throwing his head back –showing off his new mark- and panted,

“Off, off, off!” he said tugging at Die’s boxers the other smirked down at him. He crawled off of the slim man, and Kaoru made a small whining noise. Die grinned and stood up, he quickly stripped himself of his boxers and stood back for the man on the bed to admire. Kaoru moaned, and couldn’t avert his eyes, Die watched as his body was visually eaten by the man on the bed, a pretty flush covering his high cheeks. Die winked at Kaoru standing unabashedly and sauntering over to the dresser to hunt for something. Kaoru watched Die’s ass move with fascination, the fluid movement of muscle under pale flesh- he was drooling again. Finding what he wanted with ease, Die turned to find Kaoru looking at him with a vacant expression. Die shook his head, his pretty little air headed Kaoru; the mark proved it –for a while anyways- that this man was his.

“You want me to get those off for you, or are you planning on leaving them on?” Die asked, Kaoru blinked at him with confusion.

Die was talking, well he assumed so since his lips were moving but Kaoru was having trouble paying attention, he felt like he stuck a fork in the wall socket, electricity ran all over his body, Die had set him on fire, he was aware of every brush of air against his skin, and staring at Die’s arousal he could almost feel it from across the room. Again he tried to listen to Die, he felt like if it didn’t stop he was going to pass out or be sick.

“Kaoru?” Die asked he left his findings on the small stand beside his bed and sat on the mattress, Kaoru was looking at him eyes wide and mouth moving but there were no words. “Kaoru, what’s wrong babe?” Die frowned, Kaoru looked at him, almost black eyes were filled with confusion, and Die had the sudden image of a lost little boy, great that’s all he needed the image of Kaoru as a little kid as he was about to fuck him.

“Die…” Kaoru said at last, he leaned forward and initiated a slow kiss, Die let Kaoru set the pace and lead the kiss, and the other explored his mouth slowly and tentatively. Die pulled Kaoru till he was sitting on Die’s lap never once did they break their kiss, when Kaoru was finally satisfied he let Die go, but only so he could rest his head on Die’s neck, panting softly he repeated the other man’s name, “Die?”

“Yes,” Die was stroking Kaoru’s back, broad sweeps that couldn’t help but touch the top of firm bottom, “are you alright?”

“It’s too much,” Kaoru muttered softly, “To much I feel like it hurts,” Kaoru nuzzled Die’s neck, content to just bury his head and try and calm down a bit- Die would have none of that.

“Well I can make it all feel better,” Die accented his words by stroking lower running his fingers along Kaoru’s butt, feeling up tender skin; fingers teasing the cleft.

“Die!” Kaoru gasped lightly, Die’s hands were warm and it felt like they were leaving burning trails, and even as his body began to heat up again to match he could feel the panic welling in him. Squishing it down he moaned softly, “Then do it.”

Die offered another silent thanks to the gods of homoerotic love for bringing him this sexy bundle of flesh and bone, this beautiful creature. He lay Kaoru on the soft expanse of his bed, kissing him quickly on the lips he tugged the slender man’s boxers down to his knees, Kaoru helped him kick them off.

“There see that wasn’t so hard was it?” Die asked Kaoru who only glared at him he looked over Kaoru’s now nude form lecherously, “Well maybe it is…” Kaoru made an odd noise in the back of his throat and Die chuckled. “You know I perfect remedy for *this* kind of pain,” he accentuated his words by running his hand slowly over Kaoru’s length.

“Ohhh Die!” Kaoru moaned, Die only grinned to himself; that was a lovely noise let’s see if he could get another one…Gripping firmly he stroked, Kaoru let out a small sob-like noise, and Die was thrilled. Shifting so he could sit comfortably between Kaoru’s splayed legs; Die slung one leg over his shoulder and pushed the other out as far as it would comfortably go. “Die?” Kaoru asked, his body was twisted into odd positions, he trusted that Die knew what he was doing; that thought sent a flame of jealousy though his mind but he ignored it.

“Yes Kao?” Die asked; he had his arm stretched as far as it would go trying to reach the items he left on the stand.

“Why am I like this?” Die looked at Kaoru who looked very serous; then he felt Kaoru wiggle his toes –the foot that was held in the air by one of Die’s shoulders- and he could only smile. A little further, got it. Die sat back, and proceeded to ignore Kaoru’s question while he prepped; unscrewed the tube he’d retrieved.

“So I can watch you when I do this,” Die waited for the question that would inevitably follow,

“Do wAHHH!” Kaoru shrieked, the finger teased it’s way into his body and it felt *really* weird. Kaoru panted, wiggling his hips in an attempt to dislodge Die, Die held him tightly to prevent just that. “Die,” Kaoru gasped,

“Shh,” Die chided, Kaoru felt so perfect he couldn’t wait till he could just thrust in, no he would be good and treat Kaoru kindly…so tight!

It didn’t take long for Kaoru to see why people liked this, soon he was moving with Die –as opposed to away from him- thrusting his hips obediently back.

“Die more, please?” Kaoru begged before he could think about what he was saying, there was a certain smugness in the answer that got on his nerves,

“You can beg better then that can’t you?”

“Noooo” Kaoru whined, hips thrusting back harder, he wanted more!

“Good enough,” Die shrugged, he would have liked to hear the slender man beg for it, but when horny with a naked Kaoru on your bed patience really can’t be counted as a virtue. He quickly coated himself with the slick semi-fluid, Kaoru was looking at him through hair panting sexily and Die groaned, and Kaoru blushed.

“I don’t need to ask what you are going to do with that do I?” Kaoru asked, eyeing Die, a light pink on his already flushed cheeks, Die winked.

“I should hope you know, now lay back,” Die quickly crawled between spread legs, lifting both legs over his shoulders, placing a sweet kiss on both delicate ankles. This position brought him right to where he wanted to be, kissing the man under him he smiled happily. “You ready,”

“Just do it already Die,” Kaoru said with a small laugh of his own, yeah he was nervous as hell, yeah he knew this was going to hurt; but Die’s happy smile made those worries almost seem like nothing.

“Kiss me,” Die commanded, and as Kaoru’s lips touched him he started to push slowly.

It was what Kaoru would have imagined being torn in half would feel like, Die pushing further into him, deeper, the feeling of another heart beating in him. He clung to Die, digging short blunt nails into the powerful shoulders that kept the other man suspended above him, the thrust his tongue into Die mouth, trying to fill Die as much as he was being filled.

Die moaned into the kiss, it felt like he was pushing into heaven one agonizing centimetre at a time, Kaoru was so hot and so tight. It felt like forever for Kaoru and to quickly for Die, he was seated fully inside the slender man.

“Kao, Kao, Kao,” Die chanted, his lips hovering above the smaller man’s lost in the tight heat that surrounded him.

“Ouch,” Kaoru hissed, well this had to be ranked up with one of the most uncomfortable feelings in the earth; along with wet underwear. But the thought of having Die filling him was so romantic that he was willing to deal with it. Besides Die had his eyes closed, his pouty lips parted; panting softly; skin shining with sweat, he looked totally lost in bliss, a bliss that Kaoru had caused.

“I’m sorry baby,” Die said kissing Kaoru’s cheek lightly, Kaoru only smiled happily at him,

“Don’t worry about it.” Kaoru kissed Die’s nose, the electric pain had dulled to a mildly uncomfortable throb, he could take it. Shifting his hips ever so slightly against Die’s he smiled, “Let’s do this,”

“You make it sound like we’re going to have a baby,” Die grinned,

Kaoru was about to make some sort of smart comeback about not wanting to loose his girlish figure when Die pulled out and pushed slowly back in and the pain sparked though his system. Kaoru cried out, a small sobbing noise and Die moaned soundlessly. Lacing his arms around the back of the larger man’s neck he let Die set the pace all he could do was hold on and ride through the pain.

Die was in heaven moving slowly inside the other man, Kaoru seemed to be in pain but he knew from experience that it would fade all he needed to do was find… There was a sudden shriek from the figure below him, and Die grinned triumphantly to himself.

The stars were just starting to fade from his vision when Die thrust in again and pleasure exploded though him, gasping and crying out he begged Die to do that again.

“Oh god Die! Please,” Kaoru was rewarded with another accurate thrust, “harder,”

Die smirked at the command; he saw no problems with that. The tempo upped the power upped and Kaoru moaned shamelessly; meeting Die’s hard thrusts loving the feeling all of a sudden. Die was just plain happy Kaoru felt so good under him. Show him some of the Ando talent; keep him coming back, or just coming period.

The sounds of lusty moaning and the slap of sweaty skin coming in contact with skin filled the room. It was to much, to hard, to deep, and far to intense for Kaoru’s senses, everything was spiralling far out of his control. He was flying up, up, up and then it happened, he shattered. Kaoru froze, eyes wide open, mouth moving in a silent scream, it lasted a fraction of a moment then he was thrashing and shouting under Die, the other grinned,

“That’s right babe,” He continued to thrust, not quite loosing his rhythm but upping it in a desperate attempt to find his own release. Kaoru was floating he could still feel Die moving in him keeping his nerves blazing, he felt so trippy. He let his hand come up to touch Die’s face the other was sweating, eyes looking at him, glazed with lust and oncoming orgasm.

“Die,” Kaoru cooed, letting his fingers tangle in sweat soaked hair, Die bowed his head, panting hard, Kaoru arched his back letting Die use him roughly, “Come Die,” Kaoru whispered,

“Kao~ru” Die moaned, his rhythm was starting to break and then he crested, it was just to much. He stilled, the feeling of Kaoru holding his face a soft smile on his thin lips, the feeling of Kaoru’s body gripping him. He thrust even as he was spent then he pulled back –he wanted to flop on Kaoru but that would be cruel to have sex with someone then squish them- and lay down beside where the dazed pink hair man was laying.

“I feel sticky.” Kaoru commented in the after glow of their lovemaking.

“Is that all you have to say?” Die panted, that was one of the single most intense orgasms he’d ever felt.

“I feel *really* sticky?” Kaoru tried again which drew a breathless chuckle from his bed mate.

“That’s why I like you,” Die rolled onto his side so he could grab on of Kaoru’s hands and he pressed a quick kiss to the palm.