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Sep. 13th, 2010 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozing_kittenTitle: Lemon Chiffon
Paring: Ryo/Ueda
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryo makes a mistake and tries to make up for it, learning a few things about himself and the people he holds dear along the way.
Notes: Notes: I chose to tell the story ‘Strawberry Cake’ from Ryo’s point of view, mostly because I enjoy trying to get into Ryo’s head. Which is also why I chose to title this the way I did, if Ueda is tart like a strawberry then Ryo is a lemon (tastes good with Tequila and salt) all yellow and sour.
Remix of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dephi's Strawberry Cake for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
jentfic_remix's Cycle 4
He hadn’t done it maliciously, no matter what people say he isn’t that much of an asshole and anyone in NewS or Kanjani would vouch for him, he was sort of like the Grinch with a heart a few sizes too small, ready to grow when needed. Of course, he wasn’t with either and the rest of kat-tun was looking at him like he ate babies or something equally sinister.
It was a fucking accident. He opened his mouth to say that because the disproving look on Kame’s face was a bit much to handle on top of Ueda’s tears. What kind of man cried anyways? Koyama didn’t count because he had a heart the size of a planet and giggled like a school-girl and was therefore null and void as a man. Even with his eyes looking suspiciously glassy Ueda stepped through the mess of the cake on the floor with his hands up and Ryo had a few second to go through the fight or flight response. Fuck it, fight it was. Ueda’s foot slipped on the icing, smearing it across the already slippery tile and Ryo was closing in on the moment of weakness like a shark when a rough hand grabbed the back of his sweater and pulled him back with enough force to make his head snap back.
Fucking YamaPi. Ryo snarled at him wordlessly and Ueda was already moving forward and Ryo was pinned by leader but Kame was there stepping between them and for a moment Ryo thought with glee that Ueda was going to hit him too. Of course he didn’t and Kame glared the other man into submission while Maru made general concerned sounds from the other side of the room, eyeing the spilt cake with huge eyes. Jin, whom had been the catalyst for this whole mess (Ryo was only in this stupid place because he needed to return a hat he’d borrowed from the other man) was looking on with arched eyebrows looking like he neither endorsed this mess or disproved of the whole situation.
“Let’s go.” YamaPi hissed against his hair and Ryo wanted nothing more than to tell him to go fuck himself, maybe with something spiky but he held his tongue, YamaPi deserved better then that.
“What a cry-baby.” Ryo scoffed when the tears finally spilled over; served donkey-face right. Shaking YamaPi’s hands off him he stalked out of the room with his head held high and feeling justified that he had been right. The cake wouldn’t have fell if Ueda hadn’t been such a bitch when all he’d wanted was to find Jin’s fat ass and leave. Well one thing had lead to another and when Ueda shoved him, he shoved back and there had been yelling, and the cake fell and then everyone decided that was a good time to come and see what was going on.
“Ryo.” Koyama said, dogging on his steps and emanating his empathy waves. Ryo really wasn’t in the mood.
“Not now.” He snapped and Koyama just smiled softly.
“Of course. I just wanted to ask you if you want to come to dinner with Kato and me?” Damn him always knowing just what to say to diffuse all of Ryo’s righteous anger in twenty words or less.
“Yeah, sure. Now go away.”
“See you then.” And Koyama was disappearing back the way they came and Ryo realized that he had no idea where he was going. He stopped as soon as he was alone and leaned against the wall, shivering against the artificial coolness of it. Adrenaline fizzled through his body tasting sharp and bitter on his tongue, heaving a sigh that they hadn’t shed blood this time; he was in no rush to get into trouble. Of course, Donkey-face always knew just what to say to piss him off every time, made him look like the bad guy. Well fuck that; curling his hands into a fist and realizing he was still holding the stupid beanie that brought about this whole mess in the first place. There was a glob of strawberry stuck there held with icing and Ryo scowled at it.
Well fuck.
With a large sigh and the vision on Tego-nyan’s disproving stare in his mind Ryo set off to find Jin. Whom was predictably in NewS’ dressing room, lounging on a couch and pillowing his head in Maru’s lap, the older of which was twisted so he could still read the book he had braced on the arm of the couch. Jin was talking with YamaPi and when Ryo walked in he was trying to make some sort of point, which included waving arms and smacking Maru in the process; neither of them seemed to notice.
“Here’s your dumb hat. It got strawberry on it.” He tossed it, it sailed in a smooth arc and landed on the other man’s chest.
“Thanks.” Jin rubbed absently at the stain with the pad of his thumb and Maru looked up from his book for a moment. Ryo actually felt kind of uncomfortable under his stare, watched mutely as he opened his mouth to speak a few times and bit it back.
“Nakamaru?” That was YamaPi’d deep rumbling voice, and when Ryo looked over he was rather glad to find the other man didn’t look angry anymore. Not that he cared a whole lot (well he did but he wasn’t going to go all sappy on them, they would be looking for the pod before he managed to slip away), but he needed to work with him later and YamaPi could be surprisingly vengeful. “Is something the matter?”
“The cake.” He said finally.
“It was an accident.” Ryo bristled and Maru fixed him with those big eyes of his, Jin mirroring the stare.
“I know.” His lips twitched in a nervous smile, huge brown eyes managing to hold his despite how desperately unsure Maru looked. “Still, the cake meant a lot to Ueda.”
“Okay. Whatever.” Ryo crossed his arms and Maru smiled again, shrugging and making Jin’s head jolt a little. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
“Nothing.” Ryo rolled his eyes, turned on his heel and left the three of them to whatever they had been doing when he walked in. Okay, so now he felt a little guilty. Just a little. Not a whole lot. Not like he was going to do anything about it. Fuck it, the manly thing to do was to make it better, even if it was an accident. Which is how he found himself looking for Massu, and finding him playing his PSP sitting cross-legged on the couch with KoyaShige for company; it looked a lot like Shige was going to style Koyama’s hair and he had to bite down on the urge to scoff at them, braids and sparkly hair clips would come next. He’d met his make-fun-of-Shige quota for the day. Besides it wouldn’t do to poke fun at them when he was on edge and actually meant it, Koyama’s hurt was enough to bring the rest of them on the defensive and he wasn’t really that much of an ass when it really mattered.
“Hey, Massu.” He ruffled the other man’s hair and the music from his PSP stopped as he looked up at Ryo and blinked in question. “Can I borrow you for a bit?”
“Sure.” He paused the game easily and passed the system to Koyama, stretching out his back, it popped and he shook his arms out. Ryo managed not to tap his foot in annoyance, Massu never really could be bothered to be hustled into anything, he did things on Massu-time and no other. That really was one of the things he admired about the other man. “What did you need?”
“...Well.”
Later, he was feeling oddly nervous as he clutched the box to his chest, maybe a little too careful not to squish or spill it. He was a man among men; in fact Ueda’s tears were a personal affront to him. Still, it had been an accident and if things were not fixed his karma would suck, that’s all. He peered around the corner and finding no one there he shuffled down it quickly, peering around the next and waiting until the course was clear. Firmly reminding himself that he wasn’t a pussy (‘well, you are what you eat,’ Shingo’s amused snort echoed in his head) he strode into kat-tun’s dressing room with his head held high and his shoulders back.
Almost choked on his own tongue when he came face to face with a sleep-rumpled Ueda, his eyes looked a little puffy from his nap and Ryo faltered. ‘Pussy pussy pussy.’ He thought over and over to stop the rough twisting of his stomach; he took a single step forwards trying to convince himself that this was Ueda for god’s sake and not some man eating monster. “I’m sorry for your cake earlier, and happy birthday.”
So if his voice squeaked, well Ueda looked too shocked to comment on his moment of total humiliation. He decided that his shoes were really neat looking when he made to open the box. Suddenly Ryo realized that this was a really bad idea, and fuck his converse were really shiny white at the toes with one black scuff mark across new rubber. The yellow contrasted brightly with his black jeans and huh, Massu had been right, that did make his feet look bigger. Well he could probably leave, maybe crawl under a rock and pretend this whole fuck-up never happened at all.
“T-thank you.” The gruff, almost wet sounding words shocked him into looking up where he was met by tears. His number one weakness and the tears on Ueda’s face worked just like Koyama’s always did, his tongue went loose and jello and oh hell he needed to do something to stop that right away. He sucked a quick and harsh breath in through his teeth and waffled for a moment on what he should say so it wouldn’t come out a babbling mess.
“You know what? I’ll bake a cake for you on your birthday for every year. That’s a promise.” The words tripped out of his mouth without enough conscious thought, lemmings flinging themselves off the cliff and there was nothing he could do to take it back. His clamped his teeth down on the rest of the words that wanted to spill out because oh holy hell, there were tears and they were all drippy and his nose was going to get drippy.
Ryo turned and ran as fast as he could without tripping and scuffing up his Stars even more.
~~
With a lot of thought he put ‘The Cake Incident’, with all the mental capital letters and all, out of his mind. It was just too much trauma to deal with, and the only person who was willing to bring it up with him and only to get a few ribs in while he was unwilling to bite back was Massu. Well he earned it so Ryo let him go with only a mild glare.
The most annoying part was that thanks to that one act of kindness Ueda seemed to think they were friends. So now the hunter was the hunted and Ryo got really good at ducking around corners when his spidey-sense told him that Ueda was lurking near and ready to pounce. Even worse than being stalked by a donkey-man and Massu’s sly little digs at his man-hood (and the smirk from Shige and YamaPi, Koyama’s resulting fond smile and Tego’s too-knowing eyes that resulted) was that one day while being physically dragged out to the sports bar to watch a fight he came to the startling epiphany that he liked spending time with Ueda. Well when he wasn’t crying or punching him. There was an important distinction to be made there. He was kind of cool when he was sipping a strong beer and loose-limbed and not-so-distant in the booth at the noisy sports bar. That’s when he explained the finer details of mix martial arts fighting with a twinkle in his eye and a gay grin making full lips look relaxed. It went a long way to making him look more approachable and less like Queen Bitch that always rubbed Ryo the wrong way.
It was during one of those, Dr. Jackal moments with just him and Ueda hanging out at Ueda’s house watching a movie when things took a rather drastic and unexpected turn. Ryo would have been lying through his teeth if he said that he expected this on any level.
One moment he was Ryo whom was getting used to hanging out with Ueda and watching some shitty samurai movie.
Then he was Ryo who had Ueda sitting way too close to him with an arm thrown across his shoulders.
“What are you doing?” And so if his voice went a little shrill in his sudden panic well Ueda kindly didn’t laugh in his face (since his face was getting alarmingly close it probably would have been disastrous) but he did smirk a bit.
“What do you think?” And Ueda had that loose and happy look on his face that seemed to transform him and Ryo was really starting to panic, heart beating way too fast and mouth suddenly going dry. Swallowing a few times to no effect he licked his lips.
“I have no fucking clue.” He said rather honestly.
“That’s too bad.”
Lips landed on his cheek, smooth and warm and maybe that was Ryo’s face that was too hot, a nose pressing against his temple where his pulse was beating erratically and Ueda must be able to feel that there. He opened his mouth to put a stop to this insanity and Ueda put a soft kiss there too, and it must have stolen his voice, weaved from freaky fairy magic or something because when Ueda dipped his head in for another kiss Ryo said nothing, he couldn’t even push him away in disgust. “Not so bad is it?” With that deep voice rumbling in the heated air between them no, it wasn’t. Another almost chaste kiss pressed against the corner of his mouth teasing him into tilting his head into the motion. “I thought you’d like it. You’ve been teasing me for weeks now.”
Ryo would have protested that he’d done no such thing when Ueda’s next kiss turned brutal. Lips claiming his and tongue suddenly come into play. Ryo didn’t whimper, but it was a close thing, Ueda was taking control of his mouth like no one he’d ever kissed, he didn’t spare him anything, there wasn’t any way for Ryo to pretend like Ueda’s big soft lips were a girl at all. No, in all his life no girl had ever quite kissed him that breathless, like stealing away all his oxygen was a right and like he needed to check if Ryo still had his tonsils at the same time.
“What are you doing?” He hissed against Ueda’s shoulder, panting and maybe shaking a little because this was just a little much to deal with. “You asshole.”
“Baby, I thought it was obvious.” Ueda sounded a little insecure and maybe a little hard and Ryo sucked a sharp breath between his teeth. He decided to have his heterosexual freak-out tomorrow; he didn’t want Ueda to cry again after all. That and he had the softest lips that Ryo had ever kissed. He even decided to put off punching him over the ‘baby’ thing.
~~
Given the life he’s lead and the state of his karmic checking account it really shouldn’t come as much as a shock to him as it does that on the one day he decides to do something nice for his boyfriend (and he still cringes when he so much as thinks it; he sounds like that high school girl he’s always accusing Yasu and Koyama of being) that everything that can go wrong does. Murphy was a dick.
It was Ueda’s birthday and he had a promise. That and a plan to get spectacularly laid, talking karma sutra, I didn’t know you were so bendy, oh my god fuck me harder, laid. With that thought firmly in mind he only managed to verbally castrate two PDAs who held him late at work and gave his most smouldering look to the camera and then quite possibly his most malicious smile yet. Minor hiccups with the film, a problem with the lighting, one of the foils ripped and what the hell why didn’t they keep spares on hand? He watched with a growing sense of unease as work slowly ate up his day excruciating minutes at a time. After all the work he’d gone through already to make sure they were even going to be in the same city and already it was going south. Belly-up dead like him if he couldn’t keep his promise to Ueda.
He grit his teeth when the train was late on the way home and resisted the urge to bang his head off the glass when it was stopped for a full twenty minutes at the stop before his. A track mix-up, on the best train system in the world, why of course, fuck you too karma. He glanced at his watch as he practically flew up the seven flights of stairs, at this point he didn’t trust he wouldn’t get stuck in the elevator.
The cake was something else entirely, he hadn’t really gotten any more practice then that time a year ago with Massu and there are eggs everywhere and Ryo kind of wants to scream his frustration to the above neighbours. Egg and flour and his oven which until how had never suffered the full brunt of his temper. While the stupid thing was in the oven he showered quickly, took it out to cool and dressed as chic-casual as he could. So if it required him to change his shirt several times until he decided on one that made his pale skin glow and matched the smirk on his lips, well there was no one there to know. The icing job was a little sloppy and it would probably make Massu and Matsujun cry, but he actually glowed with a little pride when he arranged the sliced strawberries on top. Ueda would like it and that at some point in the last few months had come to mean a lot to him. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that Ueda had infected him with his gay-ness but there it was, Ueda had used all that fairy magic to turn him queer. Weirder yet, Ryo couldn’t remember enjoying any of his relationships nearly as much as the one he had with the other man. They were almost friends as much as they were lovers, and Ueda understood how much of Ryo’s life his job ate and at the same time how much it meant to him. He’d never felt this kind of understanding before, and well there had to be a reason gay men did it, and Ryo was intent on finding out each and every one of them.
Which of course meant that he missed the train. While trying to protect the cake and hail a cab Ryo cursed himself. Never had he once so desperately wished he was still allowed to drive.
He gave the cab driver the address and ignored the little pang in his wallet he could feel coming on, but the clock was ticking down and he had this weird desperate feeling in his stomach like he couldn’t fuck this up. Not when it was so good, and these stupid cakes seemed to mean something. Oh god, that meant that they were something right? Ryo was in the middle of a panic attack that he missed the taxi driver’s question the first time. “There was an accident at the tunnel, I’m going to need to take the long way around is that okay?”
“Peachy.” Ryo grit out. Just fucking peachy.
Feeling distressingly like a whipped boyfriend he reached for his mobile to try and tell Ueda that he’d be a little late but found it absent. Ryo tried not to swear, but he might have bitten his lip too hard while trying to muffle the curse.
“Could we maybe hurry it up a little? I’m late.” He tried to smile at the driver, but it probably came out a little crazy looking.
“I’ll try.” Was the simple answer and Ryo sagged into the seat, relegated to watching Tokyo fly by his window.
He risked the elevator because the doors opened just as he got into the building. Managed only to stop on the door-step for a moment, freaking out just a little, before rallying his courage. The hand that knocked didn’t even seem like his because he couldn’t remember coming to the decision that he was ready to do this. This which somehow seemed important- "I'm sorry, I'm late. It's still the 4th, right? Whoaa, why are you crying?" And what did he tell Ueda about the tears and the babbling and Ryo could only stand at his front door and watch as Ueda wiped away his tears. He was allowed in the house but Ueda’s silence was freaking him right the fuck out. This was big right? This was that big moment in dramas and shit and he was going to fuck it up somehow, there wasn’t a script for this and Ryo had to admit that he was floundering. His hands shook a little as he cut into the cake, getting a slice ready for the birthday boy. "I managed to finish this but I missed the train so I took a taxi instead. Thank God I arrived here on time." He babbled.
This felt wrong.
"Hmm, it's okay. Thank you Ryo." And Ueda was smiling, and it looked like the angels from the books his Mom used to read and Ryo swallowed thickly, mind swirling with a few more inane thoughts and self insults.
“I mean, it probably isn’t any good, Massu helped me last time.”
“It will be fine.” Ueda’s eyes were a little red and Ryo was really starting to panic now, that mellow almost glowing look on his face was too much to deal with on top of the day’s stress.
“My cake will probably give you food poisoning or something.” He said firmly looking at the lop-sidedness of the strawberries on top. Ueda took his face and kissed him softly, too softly. Too girly.
“Thank you for keeping your promise to me.” He pushed some of his black hair behind his ear and cupped the back of Ryo skull. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“What?” Ryo squeaked, and tried to wiggle out of the intimate hold the other man had on him, those big liquid eyes and full lips and he wasn’t equipped to deal with those eyes on a girl let alone a full grown man looking at him like that. “... I should have got Matsumoto to help, he makes these little icing flowers.”
“Would you pretend not to be emotionally retarded for half a minute.” Ueda growled at him and kissed him again and Ryo felt something in him uncoil a little. “I’m trying to tell you that everything is okay.”
“... Just don’t cry anymore. I can’t handle it.”
“There was an accident in the tunnel you always take to get here; and you weren’t picking up your phone. You ass.” Ueda held him so tight that it felt like he was trying to squish them into one person.
“Oh.” Another wet sniffle and Ryo started to panic again, Ueda wouldn’t love him after the cake gave him food poisoning and oh god, Ueda loved him. “I’m sorry, my phone got left at home, I was so worried about getting here on time and I just forgot it. I’ll make you another cake next year okay?”
“Okay.”
Paring: Ryo/Ueda
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryo makes a mistake and tries to make up for it, learning a few things about himself and the people he holds dear along the way.
Notes: Notes: I chose to tell the story ‘Strawberry Cake’ from Ryo’s point of view, mostly because I enjoy trying to get into Ryo’s head. Which is also why I chose to title this the way I did, if Ueda is tart like a strawberry then Ryo is a lemon (tastes good with Tequila and salt) all yellow and sour.
Remix of
dephi's Strawberry Cake for jentfic_remix's Cycle 4 He hadn’t done it maliciously, no matter what people say he isn’t that much of an asshole and anyone in NewS or Kanjani would vouch for him, he was sort of like the Grinch with a heart a few sizes too small, ready to grow when needed. Of course, he wasn’t with either and the rest of kat-tun was looking at him like he ate babies or something equally sinister.
It was a fucking accident. He opened his mouth to say that because the disproving look on Kame’s face was a bit much to handle on top of Ueda’s tears. What kind of man cried anyways? Koyama didn’t count because he had a heart the size of a planet and giggled like a school-girl and was therefore null and void as a man. Even with his eyes looking suspiciously glassy Ueda stepped through the mess of the cake on the floor with his hands up and Ryo had a few second to go through the fight or flight response. Fuck it, fight it was. Ueda’s foot slipped on the icing, smearing it across the already slippery tile and Ryo was closing in on the moment of weakness like a shark when a rough hand grabbed the back of his sweater and pulled him back with enough force to make his head snap back.
Fucking YamaPi. Ryo snarled at him wordlessly and Ueda was already moving forward and Ryo was pinned by leader but Kame was there stepping between them and for a moment Ryo thought with glee that Ueda was going to hit him too. Of course he didn’t and Kame glared the other man into submission while Maru made general concerned sounds from the other side of the room, eyeing the spilt cake with huge eyes. Jin, whom had been the catalyst for this whole mess (Ryo was only in this stupid place because he needed to return a hat he’d borrowed from the other man) was looking on with arched eyebrows looking like he neither endorsed this mess or disproved of the whole situation.
“Let’s go.” YamaPi hissed against his hair and Ryo wanted nothing more than to tell him to go fuck himself, maybe with something spiky but he held his tongue, YamaPi deserved better then that.
“What a cry-baby.” Ryo scoffed when the tears finally spilled over; served donkey-face right. Shaking YamaPi’s hands off him he stalked out of the room with his head held high and feeling justified that he had been right. The cake wouldn’t have fell if Ueda hadn’t been such a bitch when all he’d wanted was to find Jin’s fat ass and leave. Well one thing had lead to another and when Ueda shoved him, he shoved back and there had been yelling, and the cake fell and then everyone decided that was a good time to come and see what was going on.
“Ryo.” Koyama said, dogging on his steps and emanating his empathy waves. Ryo really wasn’t in the mood.
“Not now.” He snapped and Koyama just smiled softly.
“Of course. I just wanted to ask you if you want to come to dinner with Kato and me?” Damn him always knowing just what to say to diffuse all of Ryo’s righteous anger in twenty words or less.
“Yeah, sure. Now go away.”
“See you then.” And Koyama was disappearing back the way they came and Ryo realized that he had no idea where he was going. He stopped as soon as he was alone and leaned against the wall, shivering against the artificial coolness of it. Adrenaline fizzled through his body tasting sharp and bitter on his tongue, heaving a sigh that they hadn’t shed blood this time; he was in no rush to get into trouble. Of course, Donkey-face always knew just what to say to piss him off every time, made him look like the bad guy. Well fuck that; curling his hands into a fist and realizing he was still holding the stupid beanie that brought about this whole mess in the first place. There was a glob of strawberry stuck there held with icing and Ryo scowled at it.
Well fuck.
With a large sigh and the vision on Tego-nyan’s disproving stare in his mind Ryo set off to find Jin. Whom was predictably in NewS’ dressing room, lounging on a couch and pillowing his head in Maru’s lap, the older of which was twisted so he could still read the book he had braced on the arm of the couch. Jin was talking with YamaPi and when Ryo walked in he was trying to make some sort of point, which included waving arms and smacking Maru in the process; neither of them seemed to notice.
“Here’s your dumb hat. It got strawberry on it.” He tossed it, it sailed in a smooth arc and landed on the other man’s chest.
“Thanks.” Jin rubbed absently at the stain with the pad of his thumb and Maru looked up from his book for a moment. Ryo actually felt kind of uncomfortable under his stare, watched mutely as he opened his mouth to speak a few times and bit it back.
“Nakamaru?” That was YamaPi’d deep rumbling voice, and when Ryo looked over he was rather glad to find the other man didn’t look angry anymore. Not that he cared a whole lot (well he did but he wasn’t going to go all sappy on them, they would be looking for the pod before he managed to slip away), but he needed to work with him later and YamaPi could be surprisingly vengeful. “Is something the matter?”
“The cake.” He said finally.
“It was an accident.” Ryo bristled and Maru fixed him with those big eyes of his, Jin mirroring the stare.
“I know.” His lips twitched in a nervous smile, huge brown eyes managing to hold his despite how desperately unsure Maru looked. “Still, the cake meant a lot to Ueda.”
“Okay. Whatever.” Ryo crossed his arms and Maru smiled again, shrugging and making Jin’s head jolt a little. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
“Nothing.” Ryo rolled his eyes, turned on his heel and left the three of them to whatever they had been doing when he walked in. Okay, so now he felt a little guilty. Just a little. Not a whole lot. Not like he was going to do anything about it. Fuck it, the manly thing to do was to make it better, even if it was an accident. Which is how he found himself looking for Massu, and finding him playing his PSP sitting cross-legged on the couch with KoyaShige for company; it looked a lot like Shige was going to style Koyama’s hair and he had to bite down on the urge to scoff at them, braids and sparkly hair clips would come next. He’d met his make-fun-of-Shige quota for the day. Besides it wouldn’t do to poke fun at them when he was on edge and actually meant it, Koyama’s hurt was enough to bring the rest of them on the defensive and he wasn’t really that much of an ass when it really mattered.
“Hey, Massu.” He ruffled the other man’s hair and the music from his PSP stopped as he looked up at Ryo and blinked in question. “Can I borrow you for a bit?”
“Sure.” He paused the game easily and passed the system to Koyama, stretching out his back, it popped and he shook his arms out. Ryo managed not to tap his foot in annoyance, Massu never really could be bothered to be hustled into anything, he did things on Massu-time and no other. That really was one of the things he admired about the other man. “What did you need?”
“...Well.”
Later, he was feeling oddly nervous as he clutched the box to his chest, maybe a little too careful not to squish or spill it. He was a man among men; in fact Ueda’s tears were a personal affront to him. Still, it had been an accident and if things were not fixed his karma would suck, that’s all. He peered around the corner and finding no one there he shuffled down it quickly, peering around the next and waiting until the course was clear. Firmly reminding himself that he wasn’t a pussy (‘well, you are what you eat,’ Shingo’s amused snort echoed in his head) he strode into kat-tun’s dressing room with his head held high and his shoulders back.
Almost choked on his own tongue when he came face to face with a sleep-rumpled Ueda, his eyes looked a little puffy from his nap and Ryo faltered. ‘Pussy pussy pussy.’ He thought over and over to stop the rough twisting of his stomach; he took a single step forwards trying to convince himself that this was Ueda for god’s sake and not some man eating monster. “I’m sorry for your cake earlier, and happy birthday.”
So if his voice squeaked, well Ueda looked too shocked to comment on his moment of total humiliation. He decided that his shoes were really neat looking when he made to open the box. Suddenly Ryo realized that this was a really bad idea, and fuck his converse were really shiny white at the toes with one black scuff mark across new rubber. The yellow contrasted brightly with his black jeans and huh, Massu had been right, that did make his feet look bigger. Well he could probably leave, maybe crawl under a rock and pretend this whole fuck-up never happened at all.
“T-thank you.” The gruff, almost wet sounding words shocked him into looking up where he was met by tears. His number one weakness and the tears on Ueda’s face worked just like Koyama’s always did, his tongue went loose and jello and oh hell he needed to do something to stop that right away. He sucked a quick and harsh breath in through his teeth and waffled for a moment on what he should say so it wouldn’t come out a babbling mess.
“You know what? I’ll bake a cake for you on your birthday for every year. That’s a promise.” The words tripped out of his mouth without enough conscious thought, lemmings flinging themselves off the cliff and there was nothing he could do to take it back. His clamped his teeth down on the rest of the words that wanted to spill out because oh holy hell, there were tears and they were all drippy and his nose was going to get drippy.
Ryo turned and ran as fast as he could without tripping and scuffing up his Stars even more.
~~
With a lot of thought he put ‘The Cake Incident’, with all the mental capital letters and all, out of his mind. It was just too much trauma to deal with, and the only person who was willing to bring it up with him and only to get a few ribs in while he was unwilling to bite back was Massu. Well he earned it so Ryo let him go with only a mild glare.
The most annoying part was that thanks to that one act of kindness Ueda seemed to think they were friends. So now the hunter was the hunted and Ryo got really good at ducking around corners when his spidey-sense told him that Ueda was lurking near and ready to pounce. Even worse than being stalked by a donkey-man and Massu’s sly little digs at his man-hood (and the smirk from Shige and YamaPi, Koyama’s resulting fond smile and Tego’s too-knowing eyes that resulted) was that one day while being physically dragged out to the sports bar to watch a fight he came to the startling epiphany that he liked spending time with Ueda. Well when he wasn’t crying or punching him. There was an important distinction to be made there. He was kind of cool when he was sipping a strong beer and loose-limbed and not-so-distant in the booth at the noisy sports bar. That’s when he explained the finer details of mix martial arts fighting with a twinkle in his eye and a gay grin making full lips look relaxed. It went a long way to making him look more approachable and less like Queen Bitch that always rubbed Ryo the wrong way.
It was during one of those, Dr. Jackal moments with just him and Ueda hanging out at Ueda’s house watching a movie when things took a rather drastic and unexpected turn. Ryo would have been lying through his teeth if he said that he expected this on any level.
One moment he was Ryo whom was getting used to hanging out with Ueda and watching some shitty samurai movie.
Then he was Ryo who had Ueda sitting way too close to him with an arm thrown across his shoulders.
“What are you doing?” And so if his voice went a little shrill in his sudden panic well Ueda kindly didn’t laugh in his face (since his face was getting alarmingly close it probably would have been disastrous) but he did smirk a bit.
“What do you think?” And Ueda had that loose and happy look on his face that seemed to transform him and Ryo was really starting to panic, heart beating way too fast and mouth suddenly going dry. Swallowing a few times to no effect he licked his lips.
“I have no fucking clue.” He said rather honestly.
“That’s too bad.”
Lips landed on his cheek, smooth and warm and maybe that was Ryo’s face that was too hot, a nose pressing against his temple where his pulse was beating erratically and Ueda must be able to feel that there. He opened his mouth to put a stop to this insanity and Ueda put a soft kiss there too, and it must have stolen his voice, weaved from freaky fairy magic or something because when Ueda dipped his head in for another kiss Ryo said nothing, he couldn’t even push him away in disgust. “Not so bad is it?” With that deep voice rumbling in the heated air between them no, it wasn’t. Another almost chaste kiss pressed against the corner of his mouth teasing him into tilting his head into the motion. “I thought you’d like it. You’ve been teasing me for weeks now.”
Ryo would have protested that he’d done no such thing when Ueda’s next kiss turned brutal. Lips claiming his and tongue suddenly come into play. Ryo didn’t whimper, but it was a close thing, Ueda was taking control of his mouth like no one he’d ever kissed, he didn’t spare him anything, there wasn’t any way for Ryo to pretend like Ueda’s big soft lips were a girl at all. No, in all his life no girl had ever quite kissed him that breathless, like stealing away all his oxygen was a right and like he needed to check if Ryo still had his tonsils at the same time.
“What are you doing?” He hissed against Ueda’s shoulder, panting and maybe shaking a little because this was just a little much to deal with. “You asshole.”
“Baby, I thought it was obvious.” Ueda sounded a little insecure and maybe a little hard and Ryo sucked a sharp breath between his teeth. He decided to have his heterosexual freak-out tomorrow; he didn’t want Ueda to cry again after all. That and he had the softest lips that Ryo had ever kissed. He even decided to put off punching him over the ‘baby’ thing.
~~
Given the life he’s lead and the state of his karmic checking account it really shouldn’t come as much as a shock to him as it does that on the one day he decides to do something nice for his boyfriend (and he still cringes when he so much as thinks it; he sounds like that high school girl he’s always accusing Yasu and Koyama of being) that everything that can go wrong does. Murphy was a dick.
It was Ueda’s birthday and he had a promise. That and a plan to get spectacularly laid, talking karma sutra, I didn’t know you were so bendy, oh my god fuck me harder, laid. With that thought firmly in mind he only managed to verbally castrate two PDAs who held him late at work and gave his most smouldering look to the camera and then quite possibly his most malicious smile yet. Minor hiccups with the film, a problem with the lighting, one of the foils ripped and what the hell why didn’t they keep spares on hand? He watched with a growing sense of unease as work slowly ate up his day excruciating minutes at a time. After all the work he’d gone through already to make sure they were even going to be in the same city and already it was going south. Belly-up dead like him if he couldn’t keep his promise to Ueda.
He grit his teeth when the train was late on the way home and resisted the urge to bang his head off the glass when it was stopped for a full twenty minutes at the stop before his. A track mix-up, on the best train system in the world, why of course, fuck you too karma. He glanced at his watch as he practically flew up the seven flights of stairs, at this point he didn’t trust he wouldn’t get stuck in the elevator.
The cake was something else entirely, he hadn’t really gotten any more practice then that time a year ago with Massu and there are eggs everywhere and Ryo kind of wants to scream his frustration to the above neighbours. Egg and flour and his oven which until how had never suffered the full brunt of his temper. While the stupid thing was in the oven he showered quickly, took it out to cool and dressed as chic-casual as he could. So if it required him to change his shirt several times until he decided on one that made his pale skin glow and matched the smirk on his lips, well there was no one there to know. The icing job was a little sloppy and it would probably make Massu and Matsujun cry, but he actually glowed with a little pride when he arranged the sliced strawberries on top. Ueda would like it and that at some point in the last few months had come to mean a lot to him. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that Ueda had infected him with his gay-ness but there it was, Ueda had used all that fairy magic to turn him queer. Weirder yet, Ryo couldn’t remember enjoying any of his relationships nearly as much as the one he had with the other man. They were almost friends as much as they were lovers, and Ueda understood how much of Ryo’s life his job ate and at the same time how much it meant to him. He’d never felt this kind of understanding before, and well there had to be a reason gay men did it, and Ryo was intent on finding out each and every one of them.
Which of course meant that he missed the train. While trying to protect the cake and hail a cab Ryo cursed himself. Never had he once so desperately wished he was still allowed to drive.
He gave the cab driver the address and ignored the little pang in his wallet he could feel coming on, but the clock was ticking down and he had this weird desperate feeling in his stomach like he couldn’t fuck this up. Not when it was so good, and these stupid cakes seemed to mean something. Oh god, that meant that they were something right? Ryo was in the middle of a panic attack that he missed the taxi driver’s question the first time. “There was an accident at the tunnel, I’m going to need to take the long way around is that okay?”
“Peachy.” Ryo grit out. Just fucking peachy.
Feeling distressingly like a whipped boyfriend he reached for his mobile to try and tell Ueda that he’d be a little late but found it absent. Ryo tried not to swear, but he might have bitten his lip too hard while trying to muffle the curse.
“Could we maybe hurry it up a little? I’m late.” He tried to smile at the driver, but it probably came out a little crazy looking.
“I’ll try.” Was the simple answer and Ryo sagged into the seat, relegated to watching Tokyo fly by his window.
He risked the elevator because the doors opened just as he got into the building. Managed only to stop on the door-step for a moment, freaking out just a little, before rallying his courage. The hand that knocked didn’t even seem like his because he couldn’t remember coming to the decision that he was ready to do this. This which somehow seemed important- "I'm sorry, I'm late. It's still the 4th, right? Whoaa, why are you crying?" And what did he tell Ueda about the tears and the babbling and Ryo could only stand at his front door and watch as Ueda wiped away his tears. He was allowed in the house but Ueda’s silence was freaking him right the fuck out. This was big right? This was that big moment in dramas and shit and he was going to fuck it up somehow, there wasn’t a script for this and Ryo had to admit that he was floundering. His hands shook a little as he cut into the cake, getting a slice ready for the birthday boy. "I managed to finish this but I missed the train so I took a taxi instead. Thank God I arrived here on time." He babbled.
This felt wrong.
"Hmm, it's okay. Thank you Ryo." And Ueda was smiling, and it looked like the angels from the books his Mom used to read and Ryo swallowed thickly, mind swirling with a few more inane thoughts and self insults.
“I mean, it probably isn’t any good, Massu helped me last time.”
“It will be fine.” Ueda’s eyes were a little red and Ryo was really starting to panic now, that mellow almost glowing look on his face was too much to deal with on top of the day’s stress.
“My cake will probably give you food poisoning or something.” He said firmly looking at the lop-sidedness of the strawberries on top. Ueda took his face and kissed him softly, too softly. Too girly.
“Thank you for keeping your promise to me.” He pushed some of his black hair behind his ear and cupped the back of Ryo skull. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“What?” Ryo squeaked, and tried to wiggle out of the intimate hold the other man had on him, those big liquid eyes and full lips and he wasn’t equipped to deal with those eyes on a girl let alone a full grown man looking at him like that. “... I should have got Matsumoto to help, he makes these little icing flowers.”
“Would you pretend not to be emotionally retarded for half a minute.” Ueda growled at him and kissed him again and Ryo felt something in him uncoil a little. “I’m trying to tell you that everything is okay.”
“... Just don’t cry anymore. I can’t handle it.”
“There was an accident in the tunnel you always take to get here; and you weren’t picking up your phone. You ass.” Ueda held him so tight that it felt like he was trying to squish them into one person.
“Oh.” Another wet sniffle and Ryo started to panic again, Ueda wouldn’t love him after the cake gave him food poisoning and oh god, Ueda loved him. “I’m sorry, my phone got left at home, I was so worried about getting here on time and I just forgot it. I’ll make you another cake next year okay?”
“Okay.”
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-14 02:51 pm (UTC)I love the beginning how everyone is upset with Ryo and he lets both guilt and Ueda's tears make him seek forgiveness.
Ryo is such a teddy bear. Strong on the outside but soft on the inside. ^_^
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Date: 2010-09-19 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-15 03:37 am (UTC)Love Ryo in this fic nee.
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Date: 2010-09-19 02:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-18 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-19 02:13 am (UTC)I'M HORRIBLE
Date: 2010-11-16 12:24 pm (UTC)I love how you wrote it from Ryo's side and there's a cute and funny side in this, contrary to my short dramatic one. Besides, I never got to explain why the hell Ryo decided to be kind all of a sudden
to be honest, I never even thought whyand reading this, I actually love this ♥What kind of man cried anyways? Koyama didn’t count because he had a heart the size of a planet and giggled like a school-girl and was therefore null and void as a man.
Oh my, what the hell? Mwahahaha... I like how you put more about NEWS members here as well, also Matsujun, I think?
Anyhow, just one question, may I know why you chose this story? Thank you for writing this ♥
Re: I'M HORRIBLE
Date: 2010-12-11 10:51 pm (UTC)I am really glad you liked it, since it was your ideal originally and I just sort of ran with it.
I sort of played roulette, clicked on something and challenged myself to do it, your index was rather helpful for the process really. :3
no subject
Date: 2010-12-11 06:16 am (UTC)I read this a while back and was looking for it again, so happy I found it ^_^
no subject
Date: 2010-12-11 10:51 pm (UTC)