Dir En Grey One-Shots
Jan. 1st, 2006 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozing_kittenPairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: The Finer Points of Spinach as told by Die
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Die thinks about what he has, how he got it and where he would be without it.
The finer points of spinach as told by Die
I can’t remember when I started calling it spinach; I must have been really young then though. Spinach… through my years I’ve come to really like spinach, I love it in fact, hot steamy spinach; yum.
I’m sure I make an odd picture laying here on my back; the wind whipping softly around me –I would have put out candles too, but the wind is a little to strong for that- my carefully prepared meal in it’s basket, the blanket all splayed and waiting; and here I am thinking about spinach.
Not just any spinach mind you, as spinach with everyone isn’t the same; I imagine that Spinach with Kyo would be very…fast, as it would be energetic with Toshiya, I’d tried to imagine spinach with Shinya but failed several times. I never had to imagine spinach with you though, after all; all I needed to do was ask you and you just handed your body over. Simple as that, no stings, minimal emotion; it was just spinach no butter no salt.
I’m not all to picky about my food, but soon the raw debauchery didn’t seem so filling, and in the wake of pure animalistic lust came a bitter taste. Just watching you, I slowly came to the realization that I didn’t just want spinach with you; I wanted you. All of you, from the top of your ever-changing head to your cute little toes, I wanted your silent pain; and all your pent up suffering. So I took you, literally and figuratively; I never was one to dally around I wanted to get to the root of things; and so we had pure raw spinach. I broke all your barriers, forcefully shattered your mind and helping to rebuild it, I knew how to do this because I watched you put them up. You could say the spinach takes the worries and stress of being the leader off of you for a moment, spinach is good for that; forgetting about stuff and all.
I used spinach to forget about things when I was younger too, I feel I’m getting to old for that now; Toshiya always reminds you about it. When I was into the moment I could forget everything, the unstable worries of being a new band –you had it the worst didn’t you?- the uncertainties. I used spinach to clear my mind, even then there was no butter and salt with it, that was an acquired taste that would come with age. I had no taste for it then and if I hadn’t force-fed you would you have gotten used to that flavour? After all I’ve seen you use your body to get what you want before; it was way back then too, using the spinach to get what you needed. Spinach is a multipurpose tool. You would never admit to it now, but then it was all you could do to keep Dir en Grey from falling apart. It must have been hard for you, when he left you were suddenly in charge; that had been a time of blurry nights and more spinach then I care to remember.
I suppose it was then that I felt the first feelings for you, something past just a co-worker, you kept everything rolling so well, it was like a feeling of pride and a feeling of pity all mixed up. So I became your friend, you didn’t have any then so it seemed like a simple move.
Damn, it’s getting late you should be here by now where are you? …oh yeah, back to my...no your -our?- story, so I became your friend, you helped me more then I ever could help you. You organized my life and got me back on track, helped me see that my dreams were still alive; and I still don’t know how you did it Kaoru. My plan failed, I was better then ever, this was a time of casual spinach, but you were only getting worse, the singles were selling and we were about to be signed to our first major record label, the stress must have been almost a physical thing for you to deal with.
As I said the rest is simple from there, I started a purely physical relationship with you and in return tried to give you a safe outlet for all your stress. It still didn’t work that well, I was having the best spinach of my life but you were still hurting and I was selfish, I wanted more, more then just the spinach, I wanted the whole meal.
You seem much better for it now- lighter, able to function properly, if you could ever call any of us proper. I’d like to say it was all because of me but you know the spinach helped too, spinach has many purposes, you could drown it or it can save you.
“Die?” there you are, standing on the entrance to the roof holding the note I left to you. I know I’m smiling but I can’t help it I can already taste the spinach.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Perfection
Rating: PG
Summary: Another Die reflective piece
Die was laying on his back, the cool light from the moon filtered through the window painting everything it touched silver. Die was sure he was no narcissist –he left that to Toshiya- but he truly wished he could see himself right now, what a beautiful picture they must make. Tangled in a limitless sea of white; clinging to each other to keep from falling eternally into slumber, clinging tight; as if just to know the other wasn’t leaving. Not that his lover would say that when he was awake, but as he slept and held Die close he knew what he meant to the other man.
The moon turned Die’s spotless sheets silver and their skin to porcelain, but the passion the sight invoked was more then half it’s splendour. The feeling of mutual affection, of love wanted, love found, love confessed, and love returned. The emotion was hidden in the gentle curve of pristine sheet over naked flesh, in the arm wrapped possessively across shoulders, hidden in the play of shadows cast by clouds on pale luminescent skin. Deepest and clearest emotion reflected in the pair of chocolate brown eyes that stared absently out the open window.
Die was awake, and his lover slept peacefully with his head pillowed on his chest, head rising and falling to the rhythm of Die’s breathing, the sound of Die’s steady heartbeat coaxing him into remaining asleep. Die himself lay back, head resting on equally white pillows, short strands of freshly washed red hair laying like new blood in contrast to the white of his bed. Eyes shone with deep thought as he gazed out the window, on a night like tonight it was plausible to believe that the stars were twinkling just for them.
His lover made a noise that could have been a word and snuggled closer to him. Flat planes met up and their bodies fit together in a way that transcended both physical and emotional, almost borderline spiritual. Spiritual like two birds soaring wild and free –only bound by each other- rising on the updraft and leaving worries and problems in the atmosphere, flying straight to the sun. Two birds for two souls.
“What’s in your pretty head?” Die asked softly to the darkness, letting fingers trail over skin softened by sleep. The other did not reply –as those sleeping tend not to do. But as his bedmate stilled and returned to deep sleep Die couldn’t keep the grin off his face.
A smile can be a beautiful thing, in all its forms; from the professional faked smile of a businessman, to the smile that cannot be hidden when one is truly having fun. Die’s smile was driven by a deep sense of rightness, a sense of accomplishment; and it was the most beautiful of all. Even thought the world was not perfect -people cried and people died- and still there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Die found he couldn’t seem give a damn about those people; they were the farthest things from his mind at the moment. The rightness, the perfection it was his, it was his to gloat about –if only for tonight- he had created his own pocket of perfection. He couldn’t think of a single way to make this moment better, even if he tried till his brain turned to dust he would never find an answer.
“Do you have the answers?” Die asked again softly, the other didn’t respond but Die didn’t mind he hadn’t expected an answer anyways; he got enough attention during the day- lovers and best friends, it was a full time job. He smiled again; yes life was good when your name was Die.
He wasn’t a narcissist but perfection can’t help but be beautiful and he and Kaoru were perfect together.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Chocolate
Rating: PG-13 1/2
Summary: Die, Kaoru, a chocolate, sweetness
“Hey you didn’t eat the chocolates that Toshi gave you…” Die pointed out looking at the older man who was lazing on the couch, Kaoru looked over his shoulder –finding that there was nothing in his way- then arched himself over the armrest so he could look at Die upside-down –cracking his back in a most satisfying way during the process.
“I’ll eat them later,” in Kaoru’s opinion Die always looked funny when he was upside-down, his face seemed different from the new angle and Kaoru would have snickered but he knew from experience that it would cause him to choke. Die frowned at the other guitarist giving him a clear ‘act-your-age’ look.
“…” Die made a face and Kaoru tried to raise an eyebrow, being upside-down it warped into a very odd facial expression indeed, and Die snorted. “You’re too precious Kao,” Kao rolled his eyes and Die chuckled –he was doing it on purpose now- “You sure you don’t want the chocolate, Toshi brought it just for you…”
“I’m sure, if you want it so bad, you have it,” Kaoru was in the process of righting himself –and his hair- from its prior position.
“Kao, it’s yours.” Die said watching the man who flopped boneless on the couch-arm again but this time looked at him through fluffy bangs; world right-side up.
“I said eat it, I don’t like chocolate all that much, you know that,”
“You don’t know what you’re missing, this is really good stuff,” Die was unwrapping the white delight from it’s foil wrapper; he paused a moment to look at the treat. The main part was made of white chocolate; it would be filled with cream he assumed, and has dark chocolate swirls on the top. Toshiya had bought him one from one of his super secret sweet stores about a month ago and Die had been eyeing Kaoru’s since the bandleader got it.
“Whatever,” Kaoru said listlessly; his eyes watched Die as long fingers fully freed the confectionary from its foil prison and brought it to his lips. Eyes watched as Die paused for a moment to let his lids flutter shut in a moment of apprehension; and in that moment Kaoru made his move.
The taste of smooth white chocolate burst on his tongue so pleasantly Die couldn’t help a small pleased noise from the back of his throat, it didn’t last long. It had taken Kaoru less time then it took Die to tease the chocolate into his mouth to rise and pounce on the taller guitarist. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Die’s neck and pressed his lips to the other’s urgently, surprised Die made the mistake of opening his mouth ever so slightly.
Arms wrapped around slim waist automatically, Die was confused and intrigued, Kaoru was pressed up against him, arms tight around his neck and tongue slipping into his mouth easily. Kaoru smirked into the kiss, his tongue was invading Die’s mouth, pressed against the chocolate that Die held there.
Kaoru moaned softly into the kiss and Die could feel a new non-chocolate related pleasure whipping through his system at lightening speeds. Die tightened his arms possessively, feeling the small man surrender to him and lean into the embrace, Die’s own tongue was intent on finding Kaoru’s despite the sticky mess of melting chocolate between them.
He was shocked when Kaoru pulled away quickly, shaking his embrace with a well-practiced wiggle. Kaoru swallowed slowly and licked his lips seductively; and Die was suddenly struck with the realization that Kaoru had stolen the chocolate from him,
“Yum, you were right; that was good,” Die mock glared at the haughty looking man, “Die flavoured, my favourite.” With a twist of his hips Kaoru was off down the hall with Die hot on his heels intent on getting revenge.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Let me talk
Rating: R
Summary: One day Die realizes that his lust for Kaoru isn’t going away, so he decides to do something about it.
It was later then usual when Kaoru woke one fateful Sunday morning, the sun was well in the sky and the cotton-candy-clouds fashioned themselves into odd shapes for the amusement of the children below. Kaoru rolled over leisurely, letting one long and slender arm fall across his face, he angled himself so that the sun would not touch him –driving himself almost off the bed in the process. He was unaware of the fact that it was later then normal for him to be sleeping, and so he was also unaware that somewhere far below in the hotel restaurant there was at least one person wondering at his odd absence. Blissfully unaware of this he grunted in his semi-conscious state and tried to roll over again –there was this most annoying warm spot where he way laying and it caused the back of his legs to sweat in the most annoying way. He managed to roll successfully and hovered for moment wrapped in a cocoon of his sheets, and then he slipped and landed with a start on the floor.
“Wahhh?” Kaoru asked in a moment of confusion, a soft curtain of dark blond obscured his world. Kaoru flopped listlessly on the floor for a instant, shaking his head to move his hair he stared freely at the white ceiling. There was a grunt from the bed to his left. Kaoru looked at it from his prone position on the floor and blinked a couple of times; just for good measure.
Sitting up slowly –his brain still not registering much- he sheltered tired eyes from the light and looked again at the unmoving lump on the bed next to him. Kyo, the lump was Kyo; he was Kaoru, with the basics down he stretched his arms over his head and arched his back like a cat. Kaoru paused for a moment, his mind was working to clear away the fog and he had his first actual lucid thought of the day ‘Why the fuck was he on the floor?’ followed by ‘Why is it so bright?’
Questions lead to answers; Kaoru learned this rather quickly as the answers to his questions revealed themselves to him; well the important ones anyways, he still had no clue why he was on the ground. He knew why it was so bright- it was late. The alarm clock was missing; Kaoru felt the first pangs of panic shoot through him, was it supposed to be so bright, what time was it?
“Kyo! If we miss the fucking train because you wanted to sleep I’m going to skin your skinny ass, vocalist or not!” Kaoru shrieked in anger; much to Kaoru’s dismay the other only curled into a tighter ball and continued to sleep. “I said get your narrow ass out of bed and tell me where you put the fucking clock.” Kaoru grit out; the slight adrenaline rush driving the last of sleep’s fog from his mind.
“…Shut up Toshi…” Kyo growled and pulled his pillow over his head trying to muffle Kaoru’s words.
“Little bitch.” Kaoru swore and picked up his own pillow –off the floor- throwing it out of frustration at the smaller man, it connected with a solid ‘Fwap’ of feather hitting sleeping vocalist. Kaoru took one steadying breath and decided he could deal with Kyo later, spinning on his heels he strode into the bathroom and slammed the door. Kyo grunted and squeezed his eyes shut as the slam rattled his brain.
Kaoru was making plans while he slipped his boxers down to take a piss; if they really had missed the train one of the others would have come to wake them up right? All of the equipment and the bus would be waiting in the next city already, or would they have waited for him to give the signal? No he told them to leave last night, Kaoru was tired, pissed, sore, and more then a little hung over. He continued to think while he relieved his full bladder, ‘Think, think, think,’ Kaoru said to himself trying to force his fuzzed brain into full ‘leader-sama’ mode.
“Oh there’s the alarm clock,” Kaoru said sarcastically to himself, his own harsh voice caustic on his tired ears. Indeed there was the alarm clock, why Kyo had gone through the trouble of throwing it in the toilet when throwing it out the window would have been much easier no one would ever know. Of course, the electrical alarm clock would not work after such treatment and Kaoru was still at a loss for the time. Flushing he paused and wondered if the alarm clock had been salvageable –not anymore- he shrugged and washed his hands quickly, his watch was outside in the beside table; he would check the time then use all force possible –necessary- to get Kyo out of bed.
“Prick.” Kyo spat and whipped Kaoru’s watch at him the moment the taller bandleader stepped out of the bathroom; Kaoru ducked the projectile time wear and glared heatedly at the small man.
“You threw the alarm clock in the toilet.” Kaoru growled, there was a reason he never roomed with Kyo.
“Toshiya hides it.” Kyo said back; a hint of whining in his deep voice, neither of them liked the morning, together it was even worse.
That was the worst begging to a fateful day Kaoru ever had- that time before the live where Yoshiki had discovered them when he had food poisoning counts.
**
Die and Toshiya giggled between themselves, they sat at their own private table, five chairs for five musicians, only three were taken.
“Do you know where Kaoru and Kyo are?” Shinya asked without conviction, he was well aware of the fact that he wasn’t going to get a response. He had his magazine spread out on the table and was reading, Die and Toshiya sat to his left, the two empty chairs to his right.
“Penis,” Toshiya snickered and Die chuckled; spread out between the two of them was a massive amount of English words made purely of cereal. Toshiya had managed to come up with all the letters for penis from his bowl; Die had about three other synonyms for the male sex organ in his pile. Die had more words but Toshiya’s crown achievement was that he had wracked his bowl until he had all the letters to spell out ‘Shinya gives good head’.
“…” Shinya decided that it would be useless to comment; he went back to scanning his article for where he was before he had spoken.
“Tits,” Die said/spelt and Toshiya laughed loudly –Shinya was pretending he didn’t know them.
“Beware, someone woke upon the WAY wrong side of the bed,” Kyo said scaring the proverbial pants of Shinya –proverbial considering his decided lack of anything resembling pants.
“How bad is it?” Toshiya asked, moving his sugar coated letters so he could spell his next word.
“Off the bed bad,” a small wicked smile playing on perpetually pouting lips –he knew just how right he was and got no small amount of amusement from it.
“Shit.” Shinya swore, he closed his magazine and the other two nodded gravely. Die was too busy to nod or even notice that he had stopped halfway through spelling ‘anal sex’ he had A-N-A, but when they had started talking about Kaoru he kind of froze. He was hopelessly in lust with their bandleader –he adamantly refused to think the other ‘L’ word- and he was plagued with sudden thoughts about said man.
Speak of the devil.
“…” Kaoru sat down in his chair heavily, looking worn out despite the fact that the day hadn’t even really started. Everyone one else was silent for a moment letting the leader angst silently to himself; but Toshiya just had to say it.
“You look like shit,” Kaoru glared at him and Toshiya shrunk back slightly, Die frowned; was Kaoru okay?
“Really Kao, you look awful,” Die stated, the glare was turned on him but he didn’t flinch; he tried for the ‘I’m only worried about you’ look –he figured it would go over better then the ‘I wanna fuck you’ look- and Kaoru turned away. Die smirked to himself and watched as Kaoru stared at the table in front of him looking pissy and far too sexy for his own good. Die felt a slight spike of arousal thinking about how beautiful the other man was, his slightly feminine looks with a distinctly masculine twist –like a well mixed drink sweet and scorching at the same time. He took a breath and tried to think of something else, something to calm his libido down a bit –ice, Toshiya, Kaoru tied to bed… oops- Die sighed to himself, getting an odd look from Toshiya. He was tired of this, tired of trying to get Kaoru out of his head but being unable, tired of trying to not think of the slender man. So very tired.
“Hey Die what are you trying to spell?” Toshiya asked, looking at the letters in front of the redhead; the redhead in question looked at him for a moment, a look of utter confusion on his attractive face. He looked down at the letters in front of him.
“Anana? [It means pineapple in French]” Die asked, Toshiya snickered, “sexual pineapples,” Die said with a nod; a smile covering the slight mishap; Toshiya chuckled.
“I don’t want to think about that,” Toshiya smiled and ate a handful of letters. He was about to speak again when Kaoru cut them off.
“We should go get ready, meet in the lobby in twenty.” Kaoru said raising suddenly Kyo let out an annoyed noise.
“I haven’t eaten yet!” Kyo pouted,
“Me either!” Toshiya whined –he had spent the last fifteen minutes playing with Die.
“You,” Kaoru pointed at the little vocalist, “shouldn’t have put the alarm clock in the toilet, and you,” gesture at Toshiya, “Shouldn’t have spent so much time playing with your food,” He looked at the pile of words on the table between the bassist and the other guitarist with a look of mixed distain and amusement. Kaoru walked away without getting anything for himself to eat either, silence reined over them for a moment. Shinya rose,
“I ate.” He said with a small sadistic smile and walked away. Toshiya pouted, Kyo looked angry and Die just got up to leave for his room.
~~
“Die?” Toshiya asked, he was sitting on his bed, Die was searching for his shirt *under* his bed. The shirtless man made a noise that Toshiya took as a cue to continue talking, he had a very interesting view of Die’s upturned jean clad ass; he wasn’t complaining but he needed to ask the other man some things.
“Yeah?” Die asked; he could see the back mass of the shirt he had kicked under there last night, just beyond his grasping hands. Toshiya watched Die’s butt wiggle – a hint of dark blue plaid boxers peeking out from under his jeans. He stared openly until Die cleared his throat and Toshiya grinned lecherously.
“Just wondering what’s up, you’ve been acting a bit odd lately; like you’re thinking to hard about something,” Die grinned, even though he knew Toshiya couldn’t see it, thinking; that would be a new thing for the bassist wouldn’t it?
“Nothing much, just have a lot on my mind,” Die sad; voice muffled by the bed, he pulled himself out, he couldn’t reach it from that side, he’d have to go through all the trouble of going ALL the way around the other side. Toshiya pouted, he had been admiring the view; Die sent a sexy smirk in his direction before crawling over his bed to hang over it to try and grab his shirt that way.
“What’s on your mind then?” Toshiya asked, he looked up at the ceiling; he was reclining on his bed, his travel bag on the floor beside him –Die’s beside his. Die was only missing a shirt else he would be ready to go, so very close, he could feel the cotton on the tips of his fingers.
“No one,” Die said without much thought, and he suddenly cursed in his mind, ‘please let Toshiya be to dense to get that!’ Die thought, one final lunge and the shirt was his again, reclaimed from the dust bunnies.
“It’s a person?” Toshiya grinned cheekily, and Die gave him a pointed look. “Who?” He asked his eyes lighting up with devilish intent.
“Fuck. You.” Die said with a smug smile, he wasn’t going to tell anyone about his little ‘thing’ for Kaoru, if he were going to tell anyone he would tell Kaoru.
“Tell meeee,” Toshiya whined, his features twisting into an innocent look, Die flipped him off with a smile before slipping his shirt over his head, ew dusty. “Come one Die, I want to know, ‘Who do you want it from?’” Toshiya’s grin was perverted and Die rolled his eyes.
“Who does Die want to do?” Kyo asked walking in to their room without knocking. He flopped down on the bed beside Toshiya –Die was standing-
“He won’t tell me,” Toshiya said with an expression of mock hurt, Die rolled his eyes,
“That jerk,” Kyo said with a huff and Toshiya laughed,
“What’re you doing here?” Die asked sitting on his bed and checking his watch –five minutes until Kaoru expected them in the hall.
“Leader-sama was riding my ass about the clock,” Kyo muttered, Die swallowed hard, that was a mental image that he could do without. Toshiya and Kyo didn’t seem to notice his lack of conversation; they proceeded to babble inanely to each other. Die was thinking, thinking thinky thoughts about Kaoru of all people- Kaoru, pretty, bitchy, wonderful Kaoru. Only recently had he realized that he had something that was a little past the border of friends –okay wet dreams is a little past friendship- and with time; a lot of time to think about things he came to realize something, something that had liberated him, set his mind free and wiped his conscience ‘So what?’ It was that simple, yeah so he wanted to fuck Kaoru, who didn’t?
“Die?” Kyo was looking at him oddly, large eyes partially hidden by his sunglasses, and Die smiled back at him. “It’s time to go catch the train,” Kyo pointed out, Toshiya was leaning casually against the door frame a smug smile on his face, Die raised his chin and stood gracefully, picking up his bags he left the hotel room after Kyo.
~~
Kaoru was sitting on one of the chairs in the lobby waiting for the other three members, Shinya was listening to his CD player at punishing volumes –the mere thought of listening to Morning Masume that loud gave him a headache- and playing his game boy. Kaoru leaned back into the chair his back hurt, and his eyes hurt, his feet hurt, and last but not least his brain hurt. He had left his sunglasses at the bar last night and he was NOT looking forward to going out into the sun he could imagine it piercing through his eyes to beat on his poor shrivelled brain –god he needed a smoke.
“Wha’cha playing Shin-Shin?” Toshiya asked, leaning over the back of Shinya’s chair to try and look at his game.
“Hey,” Die sat down in the chair beside Kaoru; he got a slight nod of head for his efforts. “You okay?” Die asked softly –for which Kaoru was thankful, he didn’t want to deal with loud obnoxious people quite yet he still hadn’t eaten or had his coffee.
“‘M fine,” Kaoru sighed, they were all here, the van was outside and he SHOULD be getting up now, “really,” Kaoru said rising. “Okay,” His own raised voice hurt and he winced slightly, “Let’s move out!” And if this were and army and if he were a general this would have looked cool.
Die watched as Kaoru picked up his own bag and moved for the door, Kyo trailing after him, Toshiya with his bag slung over his back was poking Shinya to walk faster.
“Hey Shinya can I talk to you?” Die said jogging to keep up with Shinya who was wobbling in his heels as fast as he could go to try and get away from Toshiya.
“Huh? Yeah,” Toshiya shrugged and moved on to talk with Kyo, Die smiled at the taller drummer, “What do you want?” They slowed to a normal pace, though Kaoru was still way ahead of them.
“Just wanted to know if…”
Kaoru felt stabbing pain when he stepped outside, shielding his eyes form the harsh glare of the sun he looked for the van that would offer him shade and air conditioning. There, Kaoru walked a little quicker to his blue painted sanctuary.
Everyone was inside, Shinya between Kyo and Toshiya –poor soul- and Die beside him at the window, time to go. But wait! Something is amiss in his blissfully dark haven, Die; Die was missing. The place were Die should be sitting was empty, Kaoru sighed, twisting over his chair he looked at the other three.
“Where is Die?”
“Dunno,” Kyo shrugged in Kaoru’s general direction, Toshiya shrugged and Shinya was about to speak when someone pressed against him from behind, it was gone as soon as it happened.
“You looking for me?” Die asked with a sexy smile, Kaoru sighed again ‘more trouble then they were worth,’ he twisted till he was sitting again.
“Who else would I be looking for?” Kaoru said, Die shrugged smoothly, Kaoru signalled for the driver to go and they were on their way to the train station.
“Hey Kao?” Die asked, Kaoru looked up, he had been resting with his head against the back and trying to will his headache away.
“Mmm?” Kaoru asked, he half opened his eyes and looked at Die.
Die froze for a moment, Kaoru looked so helpless, his eyes looked wary and he could imagine himself holding the smaller man; protecting him –and of course Kaoru would be SO grateful.
“Here I got this for you!” Die held out a can of coffee, Kaoru looked at it for a moment before he smiled and Die couldn’t help but smile back. Kaoru took the can; his eyes alit with the promise of caffeine,
“Thanks Die,”
“Don’t mention it,” Die suddenly felt glad he was hit with the inspiration to rush over to the vending machine before he got in the van; not only did he score himself a coke but one of Kaoru’s most winning smiles. “Here I got you this too,” Die held out his hand and gave Kaoru the two white pills that he had gotten from Shinya, “for your headache”
“Thanks I owe you one,” Kaoru took them from him and downed them with a gulp of coffee.
“Don’t room me with Toshiya next time,” It was meant as a joke but a small sliver of it was intended, he wanted to room with Kaoru, he wanted to be able to watch Kaoru go to shower, watch him change…
“I’ll remember that,” Kaoru winked and chuckled, the caffeine did wonders for him and he was starting to fell better already.
Kaoru turned away from him to look at the scenery flying past, one elegant hand gripping the slender can tightly, bringing it to soft lips to sip from the contents; Die licked his lips unconsciously. He looked away out his own window, he decided in that moment that he was sick of having to just think about Kaoru, it was getting worse by the day and he needed to put a stop to it. He wouldn’t be rooming with Toshiya again he *would* be rooming with Kaoru…
~~
Die sighed, he would have told Kaoru about his not so innocent intentions…all he needed was for the others to go the fuck away!
They were on the train now, Kaoru was back to normal –his bitchy alter ego receding for a break-, and they sat in the their compartment with Shinya. Kyo and Toshiya had disappeared long ago, and he wished he could just throw Shinya out the window or something. Shinya in his defence did not know that he was blocking Die and was only innocently reading the same magazine from this morning.
Die felt like smacking his head against the wall, he had got the nerve to tell Kaoru, to come out and say what he had been thinking about for months now. And Shinya and a magazine were in his way. Kaoru didn’t seem to notice Die’s turmoil in fact he was amusing himself with a note book and his pen, he jotted down thoughts all around his little sketches, what he imagined the inside of his brain would look like. Happy in his own thoughts he realized something with a start, he needed to piss again.
Die was staring at the newspaper in front of him trying to understand what it was telling him and failing miserably; his thoughts were scattered and mostly gravitating towards the ‘K’ word. Die was happy when Kaoru rose and made his way to the door, the minute it closed behind Kaoru; he got up and followed after the leader; leaving Shinya alone in the compartment –he didn’t even notice they were gone his music was to loud and the article to good.
Die followed Kaoru to the restrooms, and as the leader-sama slipped in Die waited outside, he would tell Kaoru when he was done, a quickie in the bathroom if he got REALLY lucky, though just some hot groping would be enough for him. Die was looking so forward to his admission he didn’t realize that Toshiya was beside him until the other man spoke.
“You in line for the bathroom too?” Die looked at the tall bass player and felt frustration well in him; this was the downside of being in a band indeed.
“Yeah,” Die lied, he couldn’t explain that the reason he was there was because he had followed the other guitarist to the bathroom could he? Of course not.
“Stupid that they would have only one bathroom in this car,” Toshiya shook his head, “the other one had two.”
“That is weird,” Die nodded, what he really wanted to say: Then go used those fucking bathrooms!
“Oh hey,” Kaoru waved at the two men outside the restroom, he nodded and walked down the hall- Die could have cried in frustration. Instead he walked into the bathroom and considered taking a really long time just to spite Toshiya.
When he returned Kaoru was scribbling in his notebook and Shinya had changed CDs. Die flopped down and waited for his next chance.
He was dozing off when Kaoru spoke and interrupted the silence of the compartment,
“I’m going to find some food, do you want anything?” Kaoru looked between the other two Shinya shook his head, Die could have did a happy dance, now was his chance. Didn’t Shinya ever need to pee? Shinya had not left since he same back, and Die was starting to hate him for it, but all was forgiven; he had his second chance.
“I’ll go with you,” Die said standing, “I’m starving” ‘And I have my eye on the most delicious looking piece of ass…’ Die mentally snickered.
“Okay,” Kaoru led the way, humming softly to himself with his hands in his pockets, it had started out a bad day but things were shaping up to be alright. Another day on tour and another day Kaoru had managed to keep things rolling and not kill their vocalist out of frustration.
Die had a bounce in his step, just a little further and he would have Kaoru all alone, all to himse- Fuck.
“Kaoru!” Kyo rushed up to them, his eyes were wide and there was icing from a cake in his hair and on his clothing.
“Kyo?” Kaoru asked looking on with shock at the vocalist, ‘Shit……” Die thought; he was going to scream, foiled again. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Food,” Kyo muttered, he looked at his feet, Kaoru rolled his eyes, and he suddenly felt old, old and tired.
“Kyo.” He growled, Kyo looked defiantly up at Kaoru,
“I told you, there was an accident in the food car,” Kaoru levelled a look on the short vocalist, should he believe the other?
“Alright…you should go wash up,” Kaoru said putting one hand on his hip and the other on his head in a position that distracted Die, had he ever mention Kaoru looked hot when he was stressed?
“Yeah,” Kyo’s eyes darted around and he gave Die an impish grin before he walked down the hall, Die noticed that he a handprint in icing on the back of his jacket. Suddenly he was quite sure Kyo had gotten into a little fight with someone, he could imagine what the room must look like…and when whoever it was realized that they were with Kyo Kaoru would have to clean up. Die growled in his throat, he wasn’t going to wait any longer, nothing could get in him way. Screw whoever/ whatever Kyo did, he wasn’t keeping Die from Kaoru for one more minute, it was his turn to be pissy.
Die opened the nearest compartment door, there was no one in it, he grabbed Kaoru’s wrist. Kaoru was still pondering about Kyo and dreading what he would find in the eating compartment, there were visions of upturned tables and smashed chairs in his mind. Then he was being tugged through a door by Die, Kaoru allowed himself to be pulled, and then the compartment door slammed shut and he stared up into Die’s intense eyes with confusion.
“What the fuck?” Kaoru asked and he was pushed against the wall behind him, Die pressing against him, trapping him there. Kaoru squirmed, “Die!”
“Shut up for a moment,” Die hissed, Kaoru was about to make some witty comment about the situation so Die kissed him, hard.
Kaoru’s thoughts blanked out for a moment when lips first touched his, then started again like a tidal wave. Die was *kissing* him, why? Die broke the kiss; Kaoru was sad and happy at the same time, Die’s lips were soft and demanding against his own, now he could talk though. He opened his mouth to do so; Die kissed him again.
Kaoru’s mouth was open and Die slipped his tongue in and proceeded to rob the other guitarist of his breath. When they broke again with a wet noise Kaoru wisely kept silent.
“I need to tell you something,” Die smirked a bit, Kaoru just raised a sceptical eyebrow at him, “since I have you alone, I won’t hold back anymore.” Kaoru was going to say something again but Die –who had been pinning Kaoru’s arms with his pressed one finger to his lips, “I’m not done telling you,” Kaoru glared at him but kept slightly swollen lips shut. “I wanted to tell you,” Die moved his arms so that he had himself braced on the wall, one arm on either side of Kaoru’s shoulders, keeping him there, “that I’ve been having dreams about you,” Kaoru’s eyes widened a bit and Die pressed himself closer to the trapped man to help prove his point, “thoughts that just wont go away.” His heart was pounding and he couldn’t quite tell what Kaoru thought about all of this; it felt good to be close to the shorter man; to have the lingering taste of Kaoru in his mouth. “I wanted you to know, maybe you could…” Die trailed off letting Kaoru’s mind fill in for the rest of what he might say.
“Can I talk now?” Kaoru asked, there was sarcasm in his voice Die grinned, and Kaoru shook his head slightly. Is that what Die pulled him in here to say? Kaoru thought about it, his mind racing even as he saw that Die was answering, what would he say? To say yes would end in good sex –or so he assumed- to say no would leave him and Die alone and horny, the choice didn’t seem so hard after that. Die didn’t look like he was asking for an emotional relationship yet. Maybe with time they could go deeper, but for now if Die was just asking to have sex with him…
“Yeah, but only if you’re going to say yes,” Die winked at Kaoru; his pulse was loud in his ears, Kaoru rolled his eyes, that was a good sign…wasn’t it?
“Fine then, Die would you room with me?” there was a edge of perversion in the smile that Kaoru gave him and Die imagined little victory bells going on in his head ‘Score!’
“I was thinking more along the lines of here and now.” Die kissed Kaoru roughly again muffling his moans of resistance.
~~
“Can I sit with you?” Aiji poked his head into the other compartment earning him an extremely foul look from Kirito. Aiji flinched and slid the compartment door closed silently behind him –Kohta had fallen asleep with his head on his older brother’s shoulder, Kirito had scolded Aiji for almost waking him.
“Yeah sure, Jun said he was going to look for food some time ago and hasn’t come back yet, you can have his seat,” Takeo shrugged and mentioned for the seat next to his, Aiji sat down, “Why do you want to sit with us?”
“There are people doing things in mine,” Aiji smirked.
Title: The Finer Points of Spinach as told by Die
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Die thinks about what he has, how he got it and where he would be without it.
The finer points of spinach as told by Die
I can’t remember when I started calling it spinach; I must have been really young then though. Spinach… through my years I’ve come to really like spinach, I love it in fact, hot steamy spinach; yum.
I’m sure I make an odd picture laying here on my back; the wind whipping softly around me –I would have put out candles too, but the wind is a little to strong for that- my carefully prepared meal in it’s basket, the blanket all splayed and waiting; and here I am thinking about spinach.
Not just any spinach mind you, as spinach with everyone isn’t the same; I imagine that Spinach with Kyo would be very…fast, as it would be energetic with Toshiya, I’d tried to imagine spinach with Shinya but failed several times. I never had to imagine spinach with you though, after all; all I needed to do was ask you and you just handed your body over. Simple as that, no stings, minimal emotion; it was just spinach no butter no salt.
I’m not all to picky about my food, but soon the raw debauchery didn’t seem so filling, and in the wake of pure animalistic lust came a bitter taste. Just watching you, I slowly came to the realization that I didn’t just want spinach with you; I wanted you. All of you, from the top of your ever-changing head to your cute little toes, I wanted your silent pain; and all your pent up suffering. So I took you, literally and figuratively; I never was one to dally around I wanted to get to the root of things; and so we had pure raw spinach. I broke all your barriers, forcefully shattered your mind and helping to rebuild it, I knew how to do this because I watched you put them up. You could say the spinach takes the worries and stress of being the leader off of you for a moment, spinach is good for that; forgetting about stuff and all.
I used spinach to forget about things when I was younger too, I feel I’m getting to old for that now; Toshiya always reminds you about it. When I was into the moment I could forget everything, the unstable worries of being a new band –you had it the worst didn’t you?- the uncertainties. I used spinach to clear my mind, even then there was no butter and salt with it, that was an acquired taste that would come with age. I had no taste for it then and if I hadn’t force-fed you would you have gotten used to that flavour? After all I’ve seen you use your body to get what you want before; it was way back then too, using the spinach to get what you needed. Spinach is a multipurpose tool. You would never admit to it now, but then it was all you could do to keep Dir en Grey from falling apart. It must have been hard for you, when he left you were suddenly in charge; that had been a time of blurry nights and more spinach then I care to remember.
I suppose it was then that I felt the first feelings for you, something past just a co-worker, you kept everything rolling so well, it was like a feeling of pride and a feeling of pity all mixed up. So I became your friend, you didn’t have any then so it seemed like a simple move.
Damn, it’s getting late you should be here by now where are you? …oh yeah, back to my...no your -our?- story, so I became your friend, you helped me more then I ever could help you. You organized my life and got me back on track, helped me see that my dreams were still alive; and I still don’t know how you did it Kaoru. My plan failed, I was better then ever, this was a time of casual spinach, but you were only getting worse, the singles were selling and we were about to be signed to our first major record label, the stress must have been almost a physical thing for you to deal with.
As I said the rest is simple from there, I started a purely physical relationship with you and in return tried to give you a safe outlet for all your stress. It still didn’t work that well, I was having the best spinach of my life but you were still hurting and I was selfish, I wanted more, more then just the spinach, I wanted the whole meal.
You seem much better for it now- lighter, able to function properly, if you could ever call any of us proper. I’d like to say it was all because of me but you know the spinach helped too, spinach has many purposes, you could drown it or it can save you.
“Die?” there you are, standing on the entrance to the roof holding the note I left to you. I know I’m smiling but I can’t help it I can already taste the spinach.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Perfection
Rating: PG
Summary: Another Die reflective piece
Die was laying on his back, the cool light from the moon filtered through the window painting everything it touched silver. Die was sure he was no narcissist –he left that to Toshiya- but he truly wished he could see himself right now, what a beautiful picture they must make. Tangled in a limitless sea of white; clinging to each other to keep from falling eternally into slumber, clinging tight; as if just to know the other wasn’t leaving. Not that his lover would say that when he was awake, but as he slept and held Die close he knew what he meant to the other man.
The moon turned Die’s spotless sheets silver and their skin to porcelain, but the passion the sight invoked was more then half it’s splendour. The feeling of mutual affection, of love wanted, love found, love confessed, and love returned. The emotion was hidden in the gentle curve of pristine sheet over naked flesh, in the arm wrapped possessively across shoulders, hidden in the play of shadows cast by clouds on pale luminescent skin. Deepest and clearest emotion reflected in the pair of chocolate brown eyes that stared absently out the open window.
Die was awake, and his lover slept peacefully with his head pillowed on his chest, head rising and falling to the rhythm of Die’s breathing, the sound of Die’s steady heartbeat coaxing him into remaining asleep. Die himself lay back, head resting on equally white pillows, short strands of freshly washed red hair laying like new blood in contrast to the white of his bed. Eyes shone with deep thought as he gazed out the window, on a night like tonight it was plausible to believe that the stars were twinkling just for them.
His lover made a noise that could have been a word and snuggled closer to him. Flat planes met up and their bodies fit together in a way that transcended both physical and emotional, almost borderline spiritual. Spiritual like two birds soaring wild and free –only bound by each other- rising on the updraft and leaving worries and problems in the atmosphere, flying straight to the sun. Two birds for two souls.
“What’s in your pretty head?” Die asked softly to the darkness, letting fingers trail over skin softened by sleep. The other did not reply –as those sleeping tend not to do. But as his bedmate stilled and returned to deep sleep Die couldn’t keep the grin off his face.
A smile can be a beautiful thing, in all its forms; from the professional faked smile of a businessman, to the smile that cannot be hidden when one is truly having fun. Die’s smile was driven by a deep sense of rightness, a sense of accomplishment; and it was the most beautiful of all. Even thought the world was not perfect -people cried and people died- and still there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Die found he couldn’t seem give a damn about those people; they were the farthest things from his mind at the moment. The rightness, the perfection it was his, it was his to gloat about –if only for tonight- he had created his own pocket of perfection. He couldn’t think of a single way to make this moment better, even if he tried till his brain turned to dust he would never find an answer.
“Do you have the answers?” Die asked again softly, the other didn’t respond but Die didn’t mind he hadn’t expected an answer anyways; he got enough attention during the day- lovers and best friends, it was a full time job. He smiled again; yes life was good when your name was Die.
He wasn’t a narcissist but perfection can’t help but be beautiful and he and Kaoru were perfect together.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Chocolate
Rating: PG-13 1/2
Summary: Die, Kaoru, a chocolate, sweetness
“Hey you didn’t eat the chocolates that Toshi gave you…” Die pointed out looking at the older man who was lazing on the couch, Kaoru looked over his shoulder –finding that there was nothing in his way- then arched himself over the armrest so he could look at Die upside-down –cracking his back in a most satisfying way during the process.
“I’ll eat them later,” in Kaoru’s opinion Die always looked funny when he was upside-down, his face seemed different from the new angle and Kaoru would have snickered but he knew from experience that it would cause him to choke. Die frowned at the other guitarist giving him a clear ‘act-your-age’ look.
“…” Die made a face and Kaoru tried to raise an eyebrow, being upside-down it warped into a very odd facial expression indeed, and Die snorted. “You’re too precious Kao,” Kao rolled his eyes and Die chuckled –he was doing it on purpose now- “You sure you don’t want the chocolate, Toshi brought it just for you…”
“I’m sure, if you want it so bad, you have it,” Kaoru was in the process of righting himself –and his hair- from its prior position.
“Kao, it’s yours.” Die said watching the man who flopped boneless on the couch-arm again but this time looked at him through fluffy bangs; world right-side up.
“I said eat it, I don’t like chocolate all that much, you know that,”
“You don’t know what you’re missing, this is really good stuff,” Die was unwrapping the white delight from it’s foil wrapper; he paused a moment to look at the treat. The main part was made of white chocolate; it would be filled with cream he assumed, and has dark chocolate swirls on the top. Toshiya had bought him one from one of his super secret sweet stores about a month ago and Die had been eyeing Kaoru’s since the bandleader got it.
“Whatever,” Kaoru said listlessly; his eyes watched Die as long fingers fully freed the confectionary from its foil prison and brought it to his lips. Eyes watched as Die paused for a moment to let his lids flutter shut in a moment of apprehension; and in that moment Kaoru made his move.
The taste of smooth white chocolate burst on his tongue so pleasantly Die couldn’t help a small pleased noise from the back of his throat, it didn’t last long. It had taken Kaoru less time then it took Die to tease the chocolate into his mouth to rise and pounce on the taller guitarist. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Die’s neck and pressed his lips to the other’s urgently, surprised Die made the mistake of opening his mouth ever so slightly.
Arms wrapped around slim waist automatically, Die was confused and intrigued, Kaoru was pressed up against him, arms tight around his neck and tongue slipping into his mouth easily. Kaoru smirked into the kiss, his tongue was invading Die’s mouth, pressed against the chocolate that Die held there.
Kaoru moaned softly into the kiss and Die could feel a new non-chocolate related pleasure whipping through his system at lightening speeds. Die tightened his arms possessively, feeling the small man surrender to him and lean into the embrace, Die’s own tongue was intent on finding Kaoru’s despite the sticky mess of melting chocolate between them.
He was shocked when Kaoru pulled away quickly, shaking his embrace with a well-practiced wiggle. Kaoru swallowed slowly and licked his lips seductively; and Die was suddenly struck with the realization that Kaoru had stolen the chocolate from him,
“Yum, you were right; that was good,” Die mock glared at the haughty looking man, “Die flavoured, my favourite.” With a twist of his hips Kaoru was off down the hall with Die hot on his heels intent on getting revenge.
Pairing: Die/Kaoru
Title: Let me talk
Rating: R
Summary: One day Die realizes that his lust for Kaoru isn’t going away, so he decides to do something about it.
It was later then usual when Kaoru woke one fateful Sunday morning, the sun was well in the sky and the cotton-candy-clouds fashioned themselves into odd shapes for the amusement of the children below. Kaoru rolled over leisurely, letting one long and slender arm fall across his face, he angled himself so that the sun would not touch him –driving himself almost off the bed in the process. He was unaware of the fact that it was later then normal for him to be sleeping, and so he was also unaware that somewhere far below in the hotel restaurant there was at least one person wondering at his odd absence. Blissfully unaware of this he grunted in his semi-conscious state and tried to roll over again –there was this most annoying warm spot where he way laying and it caused the back of his legs to sweat in the most annoying way. He managed to roll successfully and hovered for moment wrapped in a cocoon of his sheets, and then he slipped and landed with a start on the floor.
“Wahhh?” Kaoru asked in a moment of confusion, a soft curtain of dark blond obscured his world. Kaoru flopped listlessly on the floor for a instant, shaking his head to move his hair he stared freely at the white ceiling. There was a grunt from the bed to his left. Kaoru looked at it from his prone position on the floor and blinked a couple of times; just for good measure.
Sitting up slowly –his brain still not registering much- he sheltered tired eyes from the light and looked again at the unmoving lump on the bed next to him. Kyo, the lump was Kyo; he was Kaoru, with the basics down he stretched his arms over his head and arched his back like a cat. Kaoru paused for a moment, his mind was working to clear away the fog and he had his first actual lucid thought of the day ‘Why the fuck was he on the floor?’ followed by ‘Why is it so bright?’
Questions lead to answers; Kaoru learned this rather quickly as the answers to his questions revealed themselves to him; well the important ones anyways, he still had no clue why he was on the ground. He knew why it was so bright- it was late. The alarm clock was missing; Kaoru felt the first pangs of panic shoot through him, was it supposed to be so bright, what time was it?
“Kyo! If we miss the fucking train because you wanted to sleep I’m going to skin your skinny ass, vocalist or not!” Kaoru shrieked in anger; much to Kaoru’s dismay the other only curled into a tighter ball and continued to sleep. “I said get your narrow ass out of bed and tell me where you put the fucking clock.” Kaoru grit out; the slight adrenaline rush driving the last of sleep’s fog from his mind.
“…Shut up Toshi…” Kyo growled and pulled his pillow over his head trying to muffle Kaoru’s words.
“Little bitch.” Kaoru swore and picked up his own pillow –off the floor- throwing it out of frustration at the smaller man, it connected with a solid ‘Fwap’ of feather hitting sleeping vocalist. Kaoru took one steadying breath and decided he could deal with Kyo later, spinning on his heels he strode into the bathroom and slammed the door. Kyo grunted and squeezed his eyes shut as the slam rattled his brain.
Kaoru was making plans while he slipped his boxers down to take a piss; if they really had missed the train one of the others would have come to wake them up right? All of the equipment and the bus would be waiting in the next city already, or would they have waited for him to give the signal? No he told them to leave last night, Kaoru was tired, pissed, sore, and more then a little hung over. He continued to think while he relieved his full bladder, ‘Think, think, think,’ Kaoru said to himself trying to force his fuzzed brain into full ‘leader-sama’ mode.
“Oh there’s the alarm clock,” Kaoru said sarcastically to himself, his own harsh voice caustic on his tired ears. Indeed there was the alarm clock, why Kyo had gone through the trouble of throwing it in the toilet when throwing it out the window would have been much easier no one would ever know. Of course, the electrical alarm clock would not work after such treatment and Kaoru was still at a loss for the time. Flushing he paused and wondered if the alarm clock had been salvageable –not anymore- he shrugged and washed his hands quickly, his watch was outside in the beside table; he would check the time then use all force possible –necessary- to get Kyo out of bed.
“Prick.” Kyo spat and whipped Kaoru’s watch at him the moment the taller bandleader stepped out of the bathroom; Kaoru ducked the projectile time wear and glared heatedly at the small man.
“You threw the alarm clock in the toilet.” Kaoru growled, there was a reason he never roomed with Kyo.
“Toshiya hides it.” Kyo said back; a hint of whining in his deep voice, neither of them liked the morning, together it was even worse.
That was the worst begging to a fateful day Kaoru ever had- that time before the live where Yoshiki had discovered them when he had food poisoning counts.
**
Die and Toshiya giggled between themselves, they sat at their own private table, five chairs for five musicians, only three were taken.
“Do you know where Kaoru and Kyo are?” Shinya asked without conviction, he was well aware of the fact that he wasn’t going to get a response. He had his magazine spread out on the table and was reading, Die and Toshiya sat to his left, the two empty chairs to his right.
“Penis,” Toshiya snickered and Die chuckled; spread out between the two of them was a massive amount of English words made purely of cereal. Toshiya had managed to come up with all the letters for penis from his bowl; Die had about three other synonyms for the male sex organ in his pile. Die had more words but Toshiya’s crown achievement was that he had wracked his bowl until he had all the letters to spell out ‘Shinya gives good head’.
“…” Shinya decided that it would be useless to comment; he went back to scanning his article for where he was before he had spoken.
“Tits,” Die said/spelt and Toshiya laughed loudly –Shinya was pretending he didn’t know them.
“Beware, someone woke upon the WAY wrong side of the bed,” Kyo said scaring the proverbial pants of Shinya –proverbial considering his decided lack of anything resembling pants.
“How bad is it?” Toshiya asked, moving his sugar coated letters so he could spell his next word.
“Off the bed bad,” a small wicked smile playing on perpetually pouting lips –he knew just how right he was and got no small amount of amusement from it.
“Shit.” Shinya swore, he closed his magazine and the other two nodded gravely. Die was too busy to nod or even notice that he had stopped halfway through spelling ‘anal sex’ he had A-N-A, but when they had started talking about Kaoru he kind of froze. He was hopelessly in lust with their bandleader –he adamantly refused to think the other ‘L’ word- and he was plagued with sudden thoughts about said man.
Speak of the devil.
“…” Kaoru sat down in his chair heavily, looking worn out despite the fact that the day hadn’t even really started. Everyone one else was silent for a moment letting the leader angst silently to himself; but Toshiya just had to say it.
“You look like shit,” Kaoru glared at him and Toshiya shrunk back slightly, Die frowned; was Kaoru okay?
“Really Kao, you look awful,” Die stated, the glare was turned on him but he didn’t flinch; he tried for the ‘I’m only worried about you’ look –he figured it would go over better then the ‘I wanna fuck you’ look- and Kaoru turned away. Die smirked to himself and watched as Kaoru stared at the table in front of him looking pissy and far too sexy for his own good. Die felt a slight spike of arousal thinking about how beautiful the other man was, his slightly feminine looks with a distinctly masculine twist –like a well mixed drink sweet and scorching at the same time. He took a breath and tried to think of something else, something to calm his libido down a bit –ice, Toshiya, Kaoru tied to bed… oops- Die sighed to himself, getting an odd look from Toshiya. He was tired of this, tired of trying to get Kaoru out of his head but being unable, tired of trying to not think of the slender man. So very tired.
“Hey Die what are you trying to spell?” Toshiya asked, looking at the letters in front of the redhead; the redhead in question looked at him for a moment, a look of utter confusion on his attractive face. He looked down at the letters in front of him.
“Anana? [It means pineapple in French]” Die asked, Toshiya snickered, “sexual pineapples,” Die said with a nod; a smile covering the slight mishap; Toshiya chuckled.
“I don’t want to think about that,” Toshiya smiled and ate a handful of letters. He was about to speak again when Kaoru cut them off.
“We should go get ready, meet in the lobby in twenty.” Kaoru said raising suddenly Kyo let out an annoyed noise.
“I haven’t eaten yet!” Kyo pouted,
“Me either!” Toshiya whined –he had spent the last fifteen minutes playing with Die.
“You,” Kaoru pointed at the little vocalist, “shouldn’t have put the alarm clock in the toilet, and you,” gesture at Toshiya, “Shouldn’t have spent so much time playing with your food,” He looked at the pile of words on the table between the bassist and the other guitarist with a look of mixed distain and amusement. Kaoru walked away without getting anything for himself to eat either, silence reined over them for a moment. Shinya rose,
“I ate.” He said with a small sadistic smile and walked away. Toshiya pouted, Kyo looked angry and Die just got up to leave for his room.
~~
“Die?” Toshiya asked, he was sitting on his bed, Die was searching for his shirt *under* his bed. The shirtless man made a noise that Toshiya took as a cue to continue talking, he had a very interesting view of Die’s upturned jean clad ass; he wasn’t complaining but he needed to ask the other man some things.
“Yeah?” Die asked; he could see the back mass of the shirt he had kicked under there last night, just beyond his grasping hands. Toshiya watched Die’s butt wiggle – a hint of dark blue plaid boxers peeking out from under his jeans. He stared openly until Die cleared his throat and Toshiya grinned lecherously.
“Just wondering what’s up, you’ve been acting a bit odd lately; like you’re thinking to hard about something,” Die grinned, even though he knew Toshiya couldn’t see it, thinking; that would be a new thing for the bassist wouldn’t it?
“Nothing much, just have a lot on my mind,” Die sad; voice muffled by the bed, he pulled himself out, he couldn’t reach it from that side, he’d have to go through all the trouble of going ALL the way around the other side. Toshiya pouted, he had been admiring the view; Die sent a sexy smirk in his direction before crawling over his bed to hang over it to try and grab his shirt that way.
“What’s on your mind then?” Toshiya asked, he looked up at the ceiling; he was reclining on his bed, his travel bag on the floor beside him –Die’s beside his. Die was only missing a shirt else he would be ready to go, so very close, he could feel the cotton on the tips of his fingers.
“No one,” Die said without much thought, and he suddenly cursed in his mind, ‘please let Toshiya be to dense to get that!’ Die thought, one final lunge and the shirt was his again, reclaimed from the dust bunnies.
“It’s a person?” Toshiya grinned cheekily, and Die gave him a pointed look. “Who?” He asked his eyes lighting up with devilish intent.
“Fuck. You.” Die said with a smug smile, he wasn’t going to tell anyone about his little ‘thing’ for Kaoru, if he were going to tell anyone he would tell Kaoru.
“Tell meeee,” Toshiya whined, his features twisting into an innocent look, Die flipped him off with a smile before slipping his shirt over his head, ew dusty. “Come one Die, I want to know, ‘Who do you want it from?’” Toshiya’s grin was perverted and Die rolled his eyes.
“Who does Die want to do?” Kyo asked walking in to their room without knocking. He flopped down on the bed beside Toshiya –Die was standing-
“He won’t tell me,” Toshiya said with an expression of mock hurt, Die rolled his eyes,
“That jerk,” Kyo said with a huff and Toshiya laughed,
“What’re you doing here?” Die asked sitting on his bed and checking his watch –five minutes until Kaoru expected them in the hall.
“Leader-sama was riding my ass about the clock,” Kyo muttered, Die swallowed hard, that was a mental image that he could do without. Toshiya and Kyo didn’t seem to notice his lack of conversation; they proceeded to babble inanely to each other. Die was thinking, thinking thinky thoughts about Kaoru of all people- Kaoru, pretty, bitchy, wonderful Kaoru. Only recently had he realized that he had something that was a little past the border of friends –okay wet dreams is a little past friendship- and with time; a lot of time to think about things he came to realize something, something that had liberated him, set his mind free and wiped his conscience ‘So what?’ It was that simple, yeah so he wanted to fuck Kaoru, who didn’t?
“Die?” Kyo was looking at him oddly, large eyes partially hidden by his sunglasses, and Die smiled back at him. “It’s time to go catch the train,” Kyo pointed out, Toshiya was leaning casually against the door frame a smug smile on his face, Die raised his chin and stood gracefully, picking up his bags he left the hotel room after Kyo.
~~
Kaoru was sitting on one of the chairs in the lobby waiting for the other three members, Shinya was listening to his CD player at punishing volumes –the mere thought of listening to Morning Masume that loud gave him a headache- and playing his game boy. Kaoru leaned back into the chair his back hurt, and his eyes hurt, his feet hurt, and last but not least his brain hurt. He had left his sunglasses at the bar last night and he was NOT looking forward to going out into the sun he could imagine it piercing through his eyes to beat on his poor shrivelled brain –god he needed a smoke.
“Wha’cha playing Shin-Shin?” Toshiya asked, leaning over the back of Shinya’s chair to try and look at his game.
“Hey,” Die sat down in the chair beside Kaoru; he got a slight nod of head for his efforts. “You okay?” Die asked softly –for which Kaoru was thankful, he didn’t want to deal with loud obnoxious people quite yet he still hadn’t eaten or had his coffee.
“‘M fine,” Kaoru sighed, they were all here, the van was outside and he SHOULD be getting up now, “really,” Kaoru said rising. “Okay,” His own raised voice hurt and he winced slightly, “Let’s move out!” And if this were and army and if he were a general this would have looked cool.
Die watched as Kaoru picked up his own bag and moved for the door, Kyo trailing after him, Toshiya with his bag slung over his back was poking Shinya to walk faster.
“Hey Shinya can I talk to you?” Die said jogging to keep up with Shinya who was wobbling in his heels as fast as he could go to try and get away from Toshiya.
“Huh? Yeah,” Toshiya shrugged and moved on to talk with Kyo, Die smiled at the taller drummer, “What do you want?” They slowed to a normal pace, though Kaoru was still way ahead of them.
“Just wanted to know if…”
Kaoru felt stabbing pain when he stepped outside, shielding his eyes form the harsh glare of the sun he looked for the van that would offer him shade and air conditioning. There, Kaoru walked a little quicker to his blue painted sanctuary.
Everyone was inside, Shinya between Kyo and Toshiya –poor soul- and Die beside him at the window, time to go. But wait! Something is amiss in his blissfully dark haven, Die; Die was missing. The place were Die should be sitting was empty, Kaoru sighed, twisting over his chair he looked at the other three.
“Where is Die?”
“Dunno,” Kyo shrugged in Kaoru’s general direction, Toshiya shrugged and Shinya was about to speak when someone pressed against him from behind, it was gone as soon as it happened.
“You looking for me?” Die asked with a sexy smile, Kaoru sighed again ‘more trouble then they were worth,’ he twisted till he was sitting again.
“Who else would I be looking for?” Kaoru said, Die shrugged smoothly, Kaoru signalled for the driver to go and they were on their way to the train station.
“Hey Kao?” Die asked, Kaoru looked up, he had been resting with his head against the back and trying to will his headache away.
“Mmm?” Kaoru asked, he half opened his eyes and looked at Die.
Die froze for a moment, Kaoru looked so helpless, his eyes looked wary and he could imagine himself holding the smaller man; protecting him –and of course Kaoru would be SO grateful.
“Here I got this for you!” Die held out a can of coffee, Kaoru looked at it for a moment before he smiled and Die couldn’t help but smile back. Kaoru took the can; his eyes alit with the promise of caffeine,
“Thanks Die,”
“Don’t mention it,” Die suddenly felt glad he was hit with the inspiration to rush over to the vending machine before he got in the van; not only did he score himself a coke but one of Kaoru’s most winning smiles. “Here I got you this too,” Die held out his hand and gave Kaoru the two white pills that he had gotten from Shinya, “for your headache”
“Thanks I owe you one,” Kaoru took them from him and downed them with a gulp of coffee.
“Don’t room me with Toshiya next time,” It was meant as a joke but a small sliver of it was intended, he wanted to room with Kaoru, he wanted to be able to watch Kaoru go to shower, watch him change…
“I’ll remember that,” Kaoru winked and chuckled, the caffeine did wonders for him and he was starting to fell better already.
Kaoru turned away from him to look at the scenery flying past, one elegant hand gripping the slender can tightly, bringing it to soft lips to sip from the contents; Die licked his lips unconsciously. He looked away out his own window, he decided in that moment that he was sick of having to just think about Kaoru, it was getting worse by the day and he needed to put a stop to it. He wouldn’t be rooming with Toshiya again he *would* be rooming with Kaoru…
~~
Die sighed, he would have told Kaoru about his not so innocent intentions…all he needed was for the others to go the fuck away!
They were on the train now, Kaoru was back to normal –his bitchy alter ego receding for a break-, and they sat in the their compartment with Shinya. Kyo and Toshiya had disappeared long ago, and he wished he could just throw Shinya out the window or something. Shinya in his defence did not know that he was blocking Die and was only innocently reading the same magazine from this morning.
Die felt like smacking his head against the wall, he had got the nerve to tell Kaoru, to come out and say what he had been thinking about for months now. And Shinya and a magazine were in his way. Kaoru didn’t seem to notice Die’s turmoil in fact he was amusing himself with a note book and his pen, he jotted down thoughts all around his little sketches, what he imagined the inside of his brain would look like. Happy in his own thoughts he realized something with a start, he needed to piss again.
Die was staring at the newspaper in front of him trying to understand what it was telling him and failing miserably; his thoughts were scattered and mostly gravitating towards the ‘K’ word. Die was happy when Kaoru rose and made his way to the door, the minute it closed behind Kaoru; he got up and followed after the leader; leaving Shinya alone in the compartment –he didn’t even notice they were gone his music was to loud and the article to good.
Die followed Kaoru to the restrooms, and as the leader-sama slipped in Die waited outside, he would tell Kaoru when he was done, a quickie in the bathroom if he got REALLY lucky, though just some hot groping would be enough for him. Die was looking so forward to his admission he didn’t realize that Toshiya was beside him until the other man spoke.
“You in line for the bathroom too?” Die looked at the tall bass player and felt frustration well in him; this was the downside of being in a band indeed.
“Yeah,” Die lied, he couldn’t explain that the reason he was there was because he had followed the other guitarist to the bathroom could he? Of course not.
“Stupid that they would have only one bathroom in this car,” Toshiya shook his head, “the other one had two.”
“That is weird,” Die nodded, what he really wanted to say: Then go used those fucking bathrooms!
“Oh hey,” Kaoru waved at the two men outside the restroom, he nodded and walked down the hall- Die could have cried in frustration. Instead he walked into the bathroom and considered taking a really long time just to spite Toshiya.
When he returned Kaoru was scribbling in his notebook and Shinya had changed CDs. Die flopped down and waited for his next chance.
He was dozing off when Kaoru spoke and interrupted the silence of the compartment,
“I’m going to find some food, do you want anything?” Kaoru looked between the other two Shinya shook his head, Die could have did a happy dance, now was his chance. Didn’t Shinya ever need to pee? Shinya had not left since he same back, and Die was starting to hate him for it, but all was forgiven; he had his second chance.
“I’ll go with you,” Die said standing, “I’m starving” ‘And I have my eye on the most delicious looking piece of ass…’ Die mentally snickered.
“Okay,” Kaoru led the way, humming softly to himself with his hands in his pockets, it had started out a bad day but things were shaping up to be alright. Another day on tour and another day Kaoru had managed to keep things rolling and not kill their vocalist out of frustration.
Die had a bounce in his step, just a little further and he would have Kaoru all alone, all to himse- Fuck.
“Kaoru!” Kyo rushed up to them, his eyes were wide and there was icing from a cake in his hair and on his clothing.
“Kyo?” Kaoru asked looking on with shock at the vocalist, ‘Shit……” Die thought; he was going to scream, foiled again. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Food,” Kyo muttered, he looked at his feet, Kaoru rolled his eyes, and he suddenly felt old, old and tired.
“Kyo.” He growled, Kyo looked defiantly up at Kaoru,
“I told you, there was an accident in the food car,” Kaoru levelled a look on the short vocalist, should he believe the other?
“Alright…you should go wash up,” Kaoru said putting one hand on his hip and the other on his head in a position that distracted Die, had he ever mention Kaoru looked hot when he was stressed?
“Yeah,” Kyo’s eyes darted around and he gave Die an impish grin before he walked down the hall, Die noticed that he a handprint in icing on the back of his jacket. Suddenly he was quite sure Kyo had gotten into a little fight with someone, he could imagine what the room must look like…and when whoever it was realized that they were with Kyo Kaoru would have to clean up. Die growled in his throat, he wasn’t going to wait any longer, nothing could get in him way. Screw whoever/ whatever Kyo did, he wasn’t keeping Die from Kaoru for one more minute, it was his turn to be pissy.
Die opened the nearest compartment door, there was no one in it, he grabbed Kaoru’s wrist. Kaoru was still pondering about Kyo and dreading what he would find in the eating compartment, there were visions of upturned tables and smashed chairs in his mind. Then he was being tugged through a door by Die, Kaoru allowed himself to be pulled, and then the compartment door slammed shut and he stared up into Die’s intense eyes with confusion.
“What the fuck?” Kaoru asked and he was pushed against the wall behind him, Die pressing against him, trapping him there. Kaoru squirmed, “Die!”
“Shut up for a moment,” Die hissed, Kaoru was about to make some witty comment about the situation so Die kissed him, hard.
Kaoru’s thoughts blanked out for a moment when lips first touched his, then started again like a tidal wave. Die was *kissing* him, why? Die broke the kiss; Kaoru was sad and happy at the same time, Die’s lips were soft and demanding against his own, now he could talk though. He opened his mouth to do so; Die kissed him again.
Kaoru’s mouth was open and Die slipped his tongue in and proceeded to rob the other guitarist of his breath. When they broke again with a wet noise Kaoru wisely kept silent.
“I need to tell you something,” Die smirked a bit, Kaoru just raised a sceptical eyebrow at him, “since I have you alone, I won’t hold back anymore.” Kaoru was going to say something again but Die –who had been pinning Kaoru’s arms with his pressed one finger to his lips, “I’m not done telling you,” Kaoru glared at him but kept slightly swollen lips shut. “I wanted to tell you,” Die moved his arms so that he had himself braced on the wall, one arm on either side of Kaoru’s shoulders, keeping him there, “that I’ve been having dreams about you,” Kaoru’s eyes widened a bit and Die pressed himself closer to the trapped man to help prove his point, “thoughts that just wont go away.” His heart was pounding and he couldn’t quite tell what Kaoru thought about all of this; it felt good to be close to the shorter man; to have the lingering taste of Kaoru in his mouth. “I wanted you to know, maybe you could…” Die trailed off letting Kaoru’s mind fill in for the rest of what he might say.
“Can I talk now?” Kaoru asked, there was sarcasm in his voice Die grinned, and Kaoru shook his head slightly. Is that what Die pulled him in here to say? Kaoru thought about it, his mind racing even as he saw that Die was answering, what would he say? To say yes would end in good sex –or so he assumed- to say no would leave him and Die alone and horny, the choice didn’t seem so hard after that. Die didn’t look like he was asking for an emotional relationship yet. Maybe with time they could go deeper, but for now if Die was just asking to have sex with him…
“Yeah, but only if you’re going to say yes,” Die winked at Kaoru; his pulse was loud in his ears, Kaoru rolled his eyes, that was a good sign…wasn’t it?
“Fine then, Die would you room with me?” there was a edge of perversion in the smile that Kaoru gave him and Die imagined little victory bells going on in his head ‘Score!’
“I was thinking more along the lines of here and now.” Die kissed Kaoru roughly again muffling his moans of resistance.
~~
“Can I sit with you?” Aiji poked his head into the other compartment earning him an extremely foul look from Kirito. Aiji flinched and slid the compartment door closed silently behind him –Kohta had fallen asleep with his head on his older brother’s shoulder, Kirito had scolded Aiji for almost waking him.
“Yeah sure, Jun said he was going to look for food some time ago and hasn’t come back yet, you can have his seat,” Takeo shrugged and mentioned for the seat next to his, Aiji sat down, “Why do you want to sit with us?”
“There are people doing things in mine,” Aiji smirked.
