Hyun Joong/Jung Min
Feb. 2nd, 2011 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozing_kittenTitle: Never is a promise
Pairing: Hyun Joong / Jung Min
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Five times Jung Min didn’t have to sleep alone. (That last time was maybe about a little more than just sleeping)
Notes: Thank you to the fabulous![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
track_04 for her indispensable beta-skills, you know I got your back at the zombie apocalypse bb.
‘And I love this place; the enormous sky,
And the faces and hands I am haunted by.
So why can’t I forgive these buildings?
These frameworks labelled home.
Headlights race towards the corner of the dining room
And half illuminate a face before they disappear.’
The Weakerthans - This is a fire door never leave open
1.
Jung Min remembered quite vividly the first time he shared a bed with another guy.
Up till that exact moment in his life, after they had turned down the sheet and awkwardly felt their way under the covers while knocking elbows and knees, he had been aware and mostly okay with his homosexuality. In fact, he could still taste the bitterness of his first love on his tongue when he stopped to think about it. By middle-school he had known that he wanted to be famous, that his life was made for something bigger and with more glamour than this small-time, day –to-day ho-hum. Meaning that they would never ever work; he couldn’t have that relationship no matter how hard the other boy’s smile made his heart beat. So when the object of his teenaged obsession finally turned around and tried to confess, Jung Min had just smiled and said, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ That had been the end of that.
So when he curled up with Kyu Jong at his back in the darkness he was sort of ‘tense’. There had been no teen-age experimentation or slumber parties. In a way then Kyu Jong was his first; in a completely platonic non-sex kind of way. No sex.
“One of these days I am going to live somewhere with heat.” Kyu Jong laughed, a soft huffing sound in the darkness and for a terrifying moment Jung Min actually thought that the other teenager was going to cuddle with him (for warmth, but that’s how it always started in books). But Kyu Jong stayed on his side of the bed and Jung Min on his own and this wasn’t such a big deal because they were just mates sharing Kyu Jong’s thin bed.
Without any lights it was easier for Kyu Jong to talk, nerves unknotted by the feeling of false anonymity that came with half-light from the street lights that spilled in through the undressed window. It seemed the darkness even muted Kyu Jong’s voice and he spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough. The shitty building with no power meant that there wasn’t the background hum of electronics to mask sound, just the occasional sounds from outside, cars and other assorted aural junk. His confessional wasn’t entirely unexpected, it was a lot for a teenage boy to carry all alone on his chest and on some level Jung Min knew Kyu Jong had been struggling.
“I’m scared that I’m not going to be good enough and that everything until now has been for nothing. I keep waiting for the day that they are just going to get fed up with me and say ‘just go home.’”
The words of comfort wouldn’t come because they all lived under that same fear and Jung Min wasn’t in the market for useless promises. He stayed quiet.
“I want to give up when you’re not here sometimes.” Kyu Jong admitted quietly and if they had been older and more familiar with each other (and they will be one day, just not today) Jung Min would have cuddled back against Kyu Jong’s chest and offered him silent support.
“I’ll have to try and be around more often then.”
“Thanks for that, it’s scary alone.” Kyu Jong laughed softly.
“I don’t imagine things would be as much fun without you around.” Jung Min laughed.
“It can’t last.” Kyu Jong sighed.
“Why not?”
“The singing instructor doesn’t like me, neither does the dance teacher.”
“First.” Jung Min smiled. “She’s an evil bitch.”
“Jung Min,” Kyu Jong said sharply.
“Well she is, she doesn’t like anyone. Not even Young Saeng.”
“I guess.” Kyu Jong sounded uncertain about this, but maybe in slightly higher spirits.
Jung Min fell asleep listening to Kyu Jong speak, which was weird because he usually got annoyed with the slightest sounds when he was sleeping but it was lulling. He forgot to worry about sharing a bed with a semi-strange man (who was he kidding-Kyu Jong was a freak, just a super polite freak) and just fell asleep. The morning after wasn’t even awkward; Kyu Jong woke up before him and was making coffee when he finally could be bothered to crawl out of the bed and into the cold mid-morning of another day of his future life.
2.
The first time he sort of shared a bed (couch-- whatever) with Hyun Joong it wasn’t on purpose. After they debuted and during promotional periods they would run mostly on caffeine and sheer will power alone until one of the two ran out. They were having a break to eat, but they had been awake the entire night before and the allure of food just wasn’t strong enough for Jung Min. Kyu Jong took the small love seat, easily curling in on himself and dropping off immediately like he’d been sleep-walking and just waiting to get vertical again. Young Saeng made a bee-line for the food and Hyung Joon was barely a step behind him, the two of them falling on it like ravenous beasts.
There was only the long couch left. Jung Min was going to crash there (not really, he couldn’t sleep with the lights on and so many people moving about, but he could close his eyes and pretend for the sake of giving his aching body something comforting). Hyun Joong beat him to it. No one could quite sprawl like Hyun Joong; he flopped down bonelessly and spread himself to the far ends of the couch in a stretch that popped his shoulder audiably.
“Hey.” Jung Min whined. He had been just about to sit down. Hyun Joong barely opened his eyes enough to look at him, giving him a long lazy stare with a slight curling tilt of his lips.
“Yes?” Even his voice sounded lazy and sleepy, like he was already most of the way there.
“I was about to sit there.” Well that was obvious, and if he wasn’t so damn tired he would find it in himself to properly let the other man feel his displeasure. As it stood, it was less displeasure and more desperation. He pushed his glasses up his nose where they were slipping. “Sit up, we’ll share.”
“No.” Jung Min managed a proper narrow-eyed glare this time. “My back hurts.” Dance was riding them rough. Before he could say something degrading and scathing at once, Hyun Joong wiggled so he was taking up less of the couch and opened his arms. “Just lie down with me.”
“I’ll fall.” That was reasonable - there really wasn’t that much space.
“Fine, find somewhere else to sleep.” Jung Min didn’t know anyone else who could shrug with their eyebrows.
“I hate you.” Jung Min hissed, but he took his glasses off and left them on the narrow table next to a home decor magazine and to his horror, Hyun Joong left his arms open with a touch of a sardonic smirk. Just to spite him at this point (and he was sure this was going to totally one-up Hyun Joong) he snuggled right there into his chest, pushing his nose into the warm and slightly sweaty smelling place where Hyun Joong’s hair met his neck. It didn’t work out so well; the older man’s arms came around him, holding him close and their legs tangled together and there wasn’t much space, but he wasn’t in danger of falling off.
This had started as kind of a gag, and he’d expected it to be less comfortable than it was, all tucked around and against Hyun Joong like this and having the other man wrapped around him like a blanket against the air-con. Between one thought and the next he dropped off; he must have been even more tired than he’d thought.
When Jung Min woke up the full two hours later, it was to Kyu Jong poking his shoulder. He was sleeping on Hyun Joong’s chest, and someone had pulled a blanket over them. His mouth felt sticky and dry and he could only be glad he hadn’t drooled on Hyun Joong’s shirt, because then it would be brought up in interviews, and he’d be embarrassed, and it would just be a mess.
“Time to go.” Kyu Jong poked him in the cheek and Jung Min wanted to whine and hide his face. “Up up.”
“M’kay.” He groaned and Kyu Jong laughed, knowing quite well what Jung Min was like first thing after waking up all squinty eyed and irrationally annoyed.
“Get Leader up too,” Kyu Jong said over his shoulder and this time Jung Min did bury his face in Hyun Joong’s shoulder. He didn’t even twitch at the movement, sleeping away like the living dead.
3.
The first time he slept in the same bed as another man and items of clothing had come off, he’d been absolutely pissed on whiskey. He was quite possibly still drunk the next morning; that was how bad it got that night.
“Are you awake?” Hyung Joon’s voice was rough with disuse and the morning. Jung Min burrowed under the covers trying to put together the horrible rolling feeling he could feel in his stomach into words and the dull spinning too, he might have some choice words about that.
“No.” He hissed, vertigo made his whole body feel like it was being suspended at some great height. Fuck.
“Good.” Hyung Joon replied and his naked shin touched Jung Min’s, cocooned under the blankets as they were. Jung Min didn’t have the coordination or the motivation required to kick him away. He’d just deal with Hyung Joon’s ugly hairy man-shin up in his space.
Jung Min fell back asleep and it was a blissful respite from the sick he could feel trying to rattle the bile acid in his stomach into bloody revolt.
The next time he woke up he felt a little more lucid, and a little less like he was going to die immediately. There was also something knocking loudly and disturbing his sleep and when he could figure out where his arms and legs were; he was going to make it stop.
“Go away,” Hyun Joon yelled and it was a little too loud for the fuzzy feeling in his head so Jung Min burrowed deeper into the piles of blankets and Hyung Joon’s limbs wishing dearly that he could be sleeping right now.
“No.” The door opened and a pretty boy walked in, even fuzzy (had he stopped to take his contact out last night? Maybe. Then where had they gone?) the family resemblance to Hyung Joon was there, but this kid was probably even better looking. “Oh,” He said blandly, even as the edges of his smile twisted in a mocking smirk. “And what are your intentions towards my brother?”
This startled a laugh out of Jung Min while Hyung Joon made a squeaking sort of noise and tried to untangle himself from Jung min as quickly as possible. They were all knotted up under the blankets like Celtic artwork and it wasn’t easy.
“Ki Bum,” Hyung Joon shrieked, trying to kick the covers off.
“I hope you make an honest man out of him!” Ki Bum was laughing as he left. “Mom says hurry up and get out of bed lazy-butt, she’s going to make pancakes.”
The door closed with a soft snick and Hyung Joon said, “Oh god,” Softly and Jung Min laughed. He didn’t even realize they were both in just their boxers until they got out of bed and stared at each other blankly.
Jung Min looked around the room and he was wearing his undershirt, but his pants were nowhere in sight. “I think my pants are in the living room.”
Hyung Joon buried his face in his palms and mumbled to himself, the only part Jung Min caught was ‘never drinking again’.
Hyung Joon’s family was lovely; his brother was snide but clearly amused by Jung Min and their mom was a sweetheart. Jung Min felt a pang that his family was never like this, laughing around a table all soft and sweet around the edges. Jung Min would have bet anything that Hyung Joon’s mom supported any decisions he made about his own future, he was a lucky kid (no wonder he was such a brat).
4.
“Do you just want to crash here?” Young Saeng yawned wide and his jaw clicked. “It’s really late.” They had been rushed in and out of their hotel room because of a flight delay and hadn’t had the time to come back here since the fan-meeting. It was so stupidly late it was almost early now.
Jung Min was exhausted, and all their luggage was spread across his bed in a huge pile of mess.
“Good plan,” he agreed, looking at the lump of stuff on his bed. Young Saeng had already fell on the other bed face first and his long black hair fanning out around his head. He went to use the bathroom, brushing his teeth and Young Saeng joined him, leaning against the counter and crowding into Jung Min’s space as he stole one of Jung Min’s clips to hold his hair back.
Years of living together in the same dorm meant that they both knew exactly how to twist and turn around each other so as not to get in each other’s way during their bathroom routines. Young Saeng twisted his hair up and out of his face so he could take his make-up off. Jung Min brushed his teeth while Young Saeng washed his face and then they traded off.
Slightly damp and ready for sleep, way too tired to worry about a shower until the morning, Young Saeng still had a smudge of toothpaste on his face. Young Saeng was so funny; he was sloppy and a little more vulgar when he got to know someone, less straight laced with a sweet face. It was like watching a switch flip and a circuit begin to travel in a different direction. Jung Min liked him better this way, less bland and more sarcastic. They all secretly thought of this as the real Young Saeng, the one who didn’t care if his smile was a little lop-sided because no one was looking at him.
“I hate travelling.” Young Saeng sighed and Jung Min let himself fall into the bed. It wasn’t the widest bed and really they should protest for better hotel rooms, but there was more than enough space for them to both have a side. “I hate foreign food.” Young Saeng continued, grumbling as he fluffed his pillow up so he could curl up tiredly around it. “I also hate aeroplanes.”
“I know.” Jung Min laughed and he was secure enough, old enough and comfortable enough now that he could reach out and pat Young Saeng’s shoulder even as they were both in their PJs sharing a bed. It was a little hysterical that at this point in his life the furthest he’s ever gotten with another person was that one time he was in his boxers and his shin had touched Hyung Joon’s. He just couldn’t risk it and some days it made him crazy. “You’re happiest when you don’t have to do anything at all.”
He could imagine the pissy expression Young Saeng was giving him without opening his eyes at all.
“And you like it?”
“I will do anything needed,” Jung Min replied and the inflection in his voice was careless, hiding the truth.
“Keener.” Young Seang shoved his arm and Jung Min shoved back scuffling half-heartedly until they called a truce and lay limp in the bed together.
“Go to sleep Young Saeng, you need your beauty sleep or you are going to get all ugly.” He laughed into his pillow.
“Fuck you.” Young Saeng giggled.
They both managed to sleep quite well despite the weird and humid air quality, and the narrow foreign mattress. In the morning Young Saeng almost spit on his toothbrush while they were getting ready and an hour later when they were having breakfast with the others Jung Min was stilling yelling about it.
5.
“This is a bad idea,” Jung Min whispered against Hyung Joong’s hair. He wasn’t going to admit that he was nervous, it was so much easier to just focus on how many ways this was a bad idea and really shouldn’t be about to happen.
“Yeah?” Hyun Joong’s face was a bit flushed, and the edges of his eyes were intent and focused in a way that he wasn’t used to at all. Hyun Joong was giving him a look like that really didn’t matter as much as Jung Min thought that it did, and that couldn’t possibly be right. This was Leader and things in his head worked a little different than anywhere else, and maybe he could just hide in there pretend that his world was reality and he could finally have this without worrying about it.
Hyun Joong’s kiss was lazy, like they had all the time in the world and Jung Min, try as he might, couldn’t up the stakes any, Hyun Joong simply pushed his tongue past his lips and drew his tongue out softly refusing to be hurried. Jung Min wasn’t sure what he wanted, after all there was a first time for everything, but Hyun Joong didn’t need to know that; he knew that there should be more, harder, faster, now. He whined low in his throat and Hyun Joong smiled against his lips, and that felt different, nice-different, but still refused.
After what seemed like an eternity of just kissing on Hyun Joong’s messy bed, reclining on his pillows and no more skin-on-skin than the edge of his thumb rubbing maddening little circles on the crest of Jung Min’s hip.
“Relax,” he said against Jung Min’s lips and they tingled like a fresh bruise; they felt swollen and he felt jittery and jumpy and too full of energy, like he needed something. It wasn’t the same feeling as watching the opening warning and ‘plot bits’ of porn, it was something deeper, more than just mindless lust. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m fine,” Jung Min hissed, kissing the corner of Hyun Joong’s mouth because it was pretty and swollen, an enticing pink that he found irresistible.
“Yeah, of course you are.” Hyun Joong kissed his reply off and so Jung Min bit his lip lightly and Hyun Joong growled against his mouth, the edge of his thumb digging into his hip and Jung Min couldn’t help the shuddery, desperate sound that he made. Things never felt like this when he jerked off alone; yeah sometimes when it had been a while he came fast and hard enough to make his spine curl, but it wasn’t this bright and sharp on the build-up. Like he wasn’t just chasing an end, he was enjoying the journey.
Hyun Joong rolled them so that Jung Min was spread out across him, legs falling open to either side of his hips so that he was straddling him. He looked down at Hyun Joong and got a fond smile in return, hands slipping up and under the back of his shirt. His hands felt warm petting down the line of his back, so Jung Min curled his legs under him, braced himself to either side of Hyun Joong’s head and leaned down for more kisses. This way he had the advantage and so he used it to kiss hard, sloppy and uncoordinated but wet and delicious and everything good about imperfect kisses.
When Hyun Joong drew his hands up he took Jung Min’s shirt with him. He had to sit back, arching up to catch the edge with his hand and drew it completely off, flinging it to the side. Like this he could feel the rise of Hyun Joong’s dick against his ass and couldn’t completely hide the flush on his cheeks and spilling down his neck. Hyun Joong followed it with wandering fingertips, following the lines down his neck and across the muscles of his chest, his expression awed. Jung Min tried to stop it, but he blushed a little harder and got a small smirk for his efforts.
“You’re unexpectedly cute.”
“Of course I am.” He dragged his short and smooth nails across Hyun Joong’s flat stomach as he pushed his shirt up and Hyun Joong’s body rolled so he could push it up further. They had lived together long enough to know what everyone looked like in varying states of undress but this time he was allowed to look, allowed to let his fingers trace the lines his eyes set. The swell of his shoulders, tripping across the sharp little hill of his clavicle down the dip along the middle of his chest to the lines of his ribs and the firm hollow of his tummy. He rolled and shifted under Jung Min’s hands and it changed the topology in new and distracting ways.
“Come here.” Hyun Joong reached up and pulled him down by the nape of his neck for another smooth kiss, letting the feeling roll back and forth between them with slick touches of their tongues. He probably could have spent the entire night like this, pulling desperate and messy lungfuls of humid air from the sliver of space between kisses. His hands slid from his neck, one to cup the back of his skull and the other sweeping in delicate lines down his back, then up his thighs, lingering around his hips.
“Oh please.” He caught himself whispering and begging against Hyun Joong’s face as his hands finally slipped down to hold onto his ass, rolling his whole body up so that they were touching everywhere in stifling waves of motion. “Please please.”
“Please what?” Leader’s voice was rough and low, pressed under his jaw and Jung Min whined softly.
“Everything.” He spread his thighs a little more, which brought them even closer, dipping and twisting his hips in time with Hyun Joong’s slow smooth rhythm.
“Greedy.” He laughed and Jung Min made an annoyed sound - it was silly to think that he’d be anything less.
With Hyun Joong pushing him down and into it, Jung Min twisted and panted; the friction and heat was at the same time too much and too little, like try to get himself off through his pants. He pulled back, fingers slipping and refusing to catch properly on the button to Hyun Joong’s jeans.
“Here.” And at least the other man’s voice sounded as breathless as his, and he was flicking the button to his own jeans, letting Jung Min focus on his own pants. They needed to roll apart to get their pants off. Jung Min hesitated at his underwear, but Hyun Joong had already pulled his off together with his pants so with a mental shrug he kicked them off.
This time when Hyun Joong pulled him on top (lazy fucker) it was miles of hot skin sliding across each other, sliding and sticking and it felt so perfect and edgy. Jung Min instantly slid down so that their chests were touching again too, and it still didn’t feel like enough; he wanted to wrap himself around Hyun Joong completely, to touch and feel him everywhere all at once. He wanted everything.
“I’m going to teach you,” Hyun Joong said against his hair, pulling him down while pushing up, and he could feel the silky skin of his dick rubbing against his hip and the too-much friction of the leaking head of his own cock rubbing across Hyun Joong’s stomach.
“What?” he gasped.
“Next time I’ll teach you what it’s like to get your dick sucked.”
Jung Min made a high desperate sound, “I’m not... it’s—“ He wanted to deny it, that vulnerable little part of him needed every broken denial. But Hyun Joong didn’t need it and he didn’t care, cutting through his rambling with nails digging into the curve of his ass and making everything catch and tangle up in his throat sharply.
“I want to,” he said, and Hyun Joong’s lips were bruised red and his face was flushed and he was just so stupidly beautiful when he smiled. “Hey.” Jung Min flicked his eyes up from his mouth to meet his eyes. “I want to teach you everything.”
He should have known that he couldn’t hide it. Jung Min tossed his hair, trying to flick some of the longer bits out of his eyes, communicating with the set of his mouth and shoulders that ‘fine, then I will be the best you’ve ever had.’ Clearly Hyun Joong knew exactly what that face meant because his smile got even wider, his eyes going all narrow with it.
They were pressed together so that every possible last bit of space was being forced out, and it was forcing his spine to flex and curve too, and he was so uncomfortable but everything wasn’t worth the movement needed to find a more comfortable way of fitting together. Hyun Joong was rolling like the tide between his thighs and Jung Min was unabashedly humping his hip and everything was fucking perfect.
“I want to teach you what’s it’s like to be fucked.” Hyun Joong growled in his ear his voice all rough and Jung Min would be embarrassed about the distinct lack of touching later, but in that one perfect moment he was caught on that mental image of himself being split apart by Hyun Joong’s thick cock, pressing inside. He was gritting his teeth against the sound that felt like it was trying to tear its way out of his chest, something caught between a groan and a sob. He came hard all over Hyun Joong’s tummy, shivering through it as his thighs trembled from holding himself up over him.
“Oh, damn.” Hyun Joong growled and even as Jung Min was still feeling all tight and jittery Hyun Joong was rolling up and pushing them over, tucking Jung Min against him so their limbs didn’t get hopelessly tangled. Breathless and sort of limp, he couldn’t seem to find the strength to move his arms lying where we was left. Hyun Joong was sitting between his spayed thighs, and his tummy was all messy with Jung Min’s come, and he swiped his fingers through it, rubbing just the tips of his fingers over the darkly flushed head, visibly shuddering as he did. Jung Min licked his lips, mouth still working too dry.
He couldn’t watch anything but the subtle play of Hyun Joong’s abdominals as he thrust into the tunnel of his fist, the way slicked with his come. Jung Min couldn’t help the small noise that escaped him when Hyun Joong twisted, his body going taut.
Watching Hyun Joong come and feeling the splashes of wet heat on his tummy felt like two completely separate events, too much for him to process all at once. Jung Min sucked in a fast breath through his teeth staring wide-eyed. Hyun Joong sagged, drooping and bending neatly (while shoving Jung Min’s legs at awkward angles out of his way) so he could press his face to the warm spot just under his chin. It was a bit like being squished by a friendly animal.
“Hyun Joong,” he whined, pushing at his shoulder without any real intent to get him to move; he just felt he should object to being a pillow.
“I mean it you know.” Hyun Joong spoke into the skin of his neck, breath ghosting damp and warm and gooseflesh crept down his arms making the hairs shiver erect.
“Hmm?” Hyun Joong’s lips were pressing delicately there, the barest hint of suction right in the skin where he could probably feel the vibrations; it made his breath catch a bit. Jung Min was finding himself surprisingly amiable to this snuggling business.
“I’ll teach you.” Hyun Joong kissed him hard, lifting himself just barely off Jung Min’s chest so that most of his weight was still pinning him there. He felt safe and comfortable in ways he couldn’t even begin to explain so he kissed back.
“How about we begin now then?” He huffed a laugh against his cheek and Jung Min pulled him down again, closer. “We’ve got the whole night.”
Pairing: Hyun Joong / Jung Min
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Five times Jung Min didn’t have to sleep alone. (That last time was maybe about a little more than just sleeping)
Notes: Thank you to the fabulous
track_04 for her indispensable beta-skills, you know I got your back at the zombie apocalypse bb. ‘And I love this place; the enormous sky,
And the faces and hands I am haunted by.
So why can’t I forgive these buildings?
These frameworks labelled home.
Headlights race towards the corner of the dining room
And half illuminate a face before they disappear.’
The Weakerthans - This is a fire door never leave open
1.
Jung Min remembered quite vividly the first time he shared a bed with another guy.
Up till that exact moment in his life, after they had turned down the sheet and awkwardly felt their way under the covers while knocking elbows and knees, he had been aware and mostly okay with his homosexuality. In fact, he could still taste the bitterness of his first love on his tongue when he stopped to think about it. By middle-school he had known that he wanted to be famous, that his life was made for something bigger and with more glamour than this small-time, day –to-day ho-hum. Meaning that they would never ever work; he couldn’t have that relationship no matter how hard the other boy’s smile made his heart beat. So when the object of his teenaged obsession finally turned around and tried to confess, Jung Min had just smiled and said, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ That had been the end of that.
So when he curled up with Kyu Jong at his back in the darkness he was sort of ‘tense’. There had been no teen-age experimentation or slumber parties. In a way then Kyu Jong was his first; in a completely platonic non-sex kind of way. No sex.
“One of these days I am going to live somewhere with heat.” Kyu Jong laughed, a soft huffing sound in the darkness and for a terrifying moment Jung Min actually thought that the other teenager was going to cuddle with him (for warmth, but that’s how it always started in books). But Kyu Jong stayed on his side of the bed and Jung Min on his own and this wasn’t such a big deal because they were just mates sharing Kyu Jong’s thin bed.
Without any lights it was easier for Kyu Jong to talk, nerves unknotted by the feeling of false anonymity that came with half-light from the street lights that spilled in through the undressed window. It seemed the darkness even muted Kyu Jong’s voice and he spoke softly, just barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough. The shitty building with no power meant that there wasn’t the background hum of electronics to mask sound, just the occasional sounds from outside, cars and other assorted aural junk. His confessional wasn’t entirely unexpected, it was a lot for a teenage boy to carry all alone on his chest and on some level Jung Min knew Kyu Jong had been struggling.
“I’m scared that I’m not going to be good enough and that everything until now has been for nothing. I keep waiting for the day that they are just going to get fed up with me and say ‘just go home.’”
The words of comfort wouldn’t come because they all lived under that same fear and Jung Min wasn’t in the market for useless promises. He stayed quiet.
“I want to give up when you’re not here sometimes.” Kyu Jong admitted quietly and if they had been older and more familiar with each other (and they will be one day, just not today) Jung Min would have cuddled back against Kyu Jong’s chest and offered him silent support.
“I’ll have to try and be around more often then.”
“Thanks for that, it’s scary alone.” Kyu Jong laughed softly.
“I don’t imagine things would be as much fun without you around.” Jung Min laughed.
“It can’t last.” Kyu Jong sighed.
“Why not?”
“The singing instructor doesn’t like me, neither does the dance teacher.”
“First.” Jung Min smiled. “She’s an evil bitch.”
“Jung Min,” Kyu Jong said sharply.
“Well she is, she doesn’t like anyone. Not even Young Saeng.”
“I guess.” Kyu Jong sounded uncertain about this, but maybe in slightly higher spirits.
Jung Min fell asleep listening to Kyu Jong speak, which was weird because he usually got annoyed with the slightest sounds when he was sleeping but it was lulling. He forgot to worry about sharing a bed with a semi-strange man (who was he kidding-Kyu Jong was a freak, just a super polite freak) and just fell asleep. The morning after wasn’t even awkward; Kyu Jong woke up before him and was making coffee when he finally could be bothered to crawl out of the bed and into the cold mid-morning of another day of his future life.
2.
The first time he sort of shared a bed (couch-- whatever) with Hyun Joong it wasn’t on purpose. After they debuted and during promotional periods they would run mostly on caffeine and sheer will power alone until one of the two ran out. They were having a break to eat, but they had been awake the entire night before and the allure of food just wasn’t strong enough for Jung Min. Kyu Jong took the small love seat, easily curling in on himself and dropping off immediately like he’d been sleep-walking and just waiting to get vertical again. Young Saeng made a bee-line for the food and Hyung Joon was barely a step behind him, the two of them falling on it like ravenous beasts.
There was only the long couch left. Jung Min was going to crash there (not really, he couldn’t sleep with the lights on and so many people moving about, but he could close his eyes and pretend for the sake of giving his aching body something comforting). Hyun Joong beat him to it. No one could quite sprawl like Hyun Joong; he flopped down bonelessly and spread himself to the far ends of the couch in a stretch that popped his shoulder audiably.
“Hey.” Jung Min whined. He had been just about to sit down. Hyun Joong barely opened his eyes enough to look at him, giving him a long lazy stare with a slight curling tilt of his lips.
“Yes?” Even his voice sounded lazy and sleepy, like he was already most of the way there.
“I was about to sit there.” Well that was obvious, and if he wasn’t so damn tired he would find it in himself to properly let the other man feel his displeasure. As it stood, it was less displeasure and more desperation. He pushed his glasses up his nose where they were slipping. “Sit up, we’ll share.”
“No.” Jung Min managed a proper narrow-eyed glare this time. “My back hurts.” Dance was riding them rough. Before he could say something degrading and scathing at once, Hyun Joong wiggled so he was taking up less of the couch and opened his arms. “Just lie down with me.”
“I’ll fall.” That was reasonable - there really wasn’t that much space.
“Fine, find somewhere else to sleep.” Jung Min didn’t know anyone else who could shrug with their eyebrows.
“I hate you.” Jung Min hissed, but he took his glasses off and left them on the narrow table next to a home decor magazine and to his horror, Hyun Joong left his arms open with a touch of a sardonic smirk. Just to spite him at this point (and he was sure this was going to totally one-up Hyun Joong) he snuggled right there into his chest, pushing his nose into the warm and slightly sweaty smelling place where Hyun Joong’s hair met his neck. It didn’t work out so well; the older man’s arms came around him, holding him close and their legs tangled together and there wasn’t much space, but he wasn’t in danger of falling off.
This had started as kind of a gag, and he’d expected it to be less comfortable than it was, all tucked around and against Hyun Joong like this and having the other man wrapped around him like a blanket against the air-con. Between one thought and the next he dropped off; he must have been even more tired than he’d thought.
When Jung Min woke up the full two hours later, it was to Kyu Jong poking his shoulder. He was sleeping on Hyun Joong’s chest, and someone had pulled a blanket over them. His mouth felt sticky and dry and he could only be glad he hadn’t drooled on Hyun Joong’s shirt, because then it would be brought up in interviews, and he’d be embarrassed, and it would just be a mess.
“Time to go.” Kyu Jong poked him in the cheek and Jung Min wanted to whine and hide his face. “Up up.”
“M’kay.” He groaned and Kyu Jong laughed, knowing quite well what Jung Min was like first thing after waking up all squinty eyed and irrationally annoyed.
“Get Leader up too,” Kyu Jong said over his shoulder and this time Jung Min did bury his face in Hyun Joong’s shoulder. He didn’t even twitch at the movement, sleeping away like the living dead.
3.
The first time he slept in the same bed as another man and items of clothing had come off, he’d been absolutely pissed on whiskey. He was quite possibly still drunk the next morning; that was how bad it got that night.
“Are you awake?” Hyung Joon’s voice was rough with disuse and the morning. Jung Min burrowed under the covers trying to put together the horrible rolling feeling he could feel in his stomach into words and the dull spinning too, he might have some choice words about that.
“No.” He hissed, vertigo made his whole body feel like it was being suspended at some great height. Fuck.
“Good.” Hyung Joon replied and his naked shin touched Jung Min’s, cocooned under the blankets as they were. Jung Min didn’t have the coordination or the motivation required to kick him away. He’d just deal with Hyung Joon’s ugly hairy man-shin up in his space.
Jung Min fell back asleep and it was a blissful respite from the sick he could feel trying to rattle the bile acid in his stomach into bloody revolt.
The next time he woke up he felt a little more lucid, and a little less like he was going to die immediately. There was also something knocking loudly and disturbing his sleep and when he could figure out where his arms and legs were; he was going to make it stop.
“Go away,” Hyun Joon yelled and it was a little too loud for the fuzzy feeling in his head so Jung Min burrowed deeper into the piles of blankets and Hyung Joon’s limbs wishing dearly that he could be sleeping right now.
“No.” The door opened and a pretty boy walked in, even fuzzy (had he stopped to take his contact out last night? Maybe. Then where had they gone?) the family resemblance to Hyung Joon was there, but this kid was probably even better looking. “Oh,” He said blandly, even as the edges of his smile twisted in a mocking smirk. “And what are your intentions towards my brother?”
This startled a laugh out of Jung Min while Hyung Joon made a squeaking sort of noise and tried to untangle himself from Jung min as quickly as possible. They were all knotted up under the blankets like Celtic artwork and it wasn’t easy.
“Ki Bum,” Hyung Joon shrieked, trying to kick the covers off.
“I hope you make an honest man out of him!” Ki Bum was laughing as he left. “Mom says hurry up and get out of bed lazy-butt, she’s going to make pancakes.”
The door closed with a soft snick and Hyung Joon said, “Oh god,” Softly and Jung Min laughed. He didn’t even realize they were both in just their boxers until they got out of bed and stared at each other blankly.
Jung Min looked around the room and he was wearing his undershirt, but his pants were nowhere in sight. “I think my pants are in the living room.”
Hyung Joon buried his face in his palms and mumbled to himself, the only part Jung Min caught was ‘never drinking again’.
Hyung Joon’s family was lovely; his brother was snide but clearly amused by Jung Min and their mom was a sweetheart. Jung Min felt a pang that his family was never like this, laughing around a table all soft and sweet around the edges. Jung Min would have bet anything that Hyung Joon’s mom supported any decisions he made about his own future, he was a lucky kid (no wonder he was such a brat).
4.
“Do you just want to crash here?” Young Saeng yawned wide and his jaw clicked. “It’s really late.” They had been rushed in and out of their hotel room because of a flight delay and hadn’t had the time to come back here since the fan-meeting. It was so stupidly late it was almost early now.
Jung Min was exhausted, and all their luggage was spread across his bed in a huge pile of mess.
“Good plan,” he agreed, looking at the lump of stuff on his bed. Young Saeng had already fell on the other bed face first and his long black hair fanning out around his head. He went to use the bathroom, brushing his teeth and Young Saeng joined him, leaning against the counter and crowding into Jung Min’s space as he stole one of Jung Min’s clips to hold his hair back.
Years of living together in the same dorm meant that they both knew exactly how to twist and turn around each other so as not to get in each other’s way during their bathroom routines. Young Saeng twisted his hair up and out of his face so he could take his make-up off. Jung Min brushed his teeth while Young Saeng washed his face and then they traded off.
Slightly damp and ready for sleep, way too tired to worry about a shower until the morning, Young Saeng still had a smudge of toothpaste on his face. Young Saeng was so funny; he was sloppy and a little more vulgar when he got to know someone, less straight laced with a sweet face. It was like watching a switch flip and a circuit begin to travel in a different direction. Jung Min liked him better this way, less bland and more sarcastic. They all secretly thought of this as the real Young Saeng, the one who didn’t care if his smile was a little lop-sided because no one was looking at him.
“I hate travelling.” Young Saeng sighed and Jung Min let himself fall into the bed. It wasn’t the widest bed and really they should protest for better hotel rooms, but there was more than enough space for them to both have a side. “I hate foreign food.” Young Saeng continued, grumbling as he fluffed his pillow up so he could curl up tiredly around it. “I also hate aeroplanes.”
“I know.” Jung Min laughed and he was secure enough, old enough and comfortable enough now that he could reach out and pat Young Saeng’s shoulder even as they were both in their PJs sharing a bed. It was a little hysterical that at this point in his life the furthest he’s ever gotten with another person was that one time he was in his boxers and his shin had touched Hyung Joon’s. He just couldn’t risk it and some days it made him crazy. “You’re happiest when you don’t have to do anything at all.”
He could imagine the pissy expression Young Saeng was giving him without opening his eyes at all.
“And you like it?”
“I will do anything needed,” Jung Min replied and the inflection in his voice was careless, hiding the truth.
“Keener.” Young Seang shoved his arm and Jung Min shoved back scuffling half-heartedly until they called a truce and lay limp in the bed together.
“Go to sleep Young Saeng, you need your beauty sleep or you are going to get all ugly.” He laughed into his pillow.
“Fuck you.” Young Saeng giggled.
They both managed to sleep quite well despite the weird and humid air quality, and the narrow foreign mattress. In the morning Young Saeng almost spit on his toothbrush while they were getting ready and an hour later when they were having breakfast with the others Jung Min was stilling yelling about it.
5.
“This is a bad idea,” Jung Min whispered against Hyung Joong’s hair. He wasn’t going to admit that he was nervous, it was so much easier to just focus on how many ways this was a bad idea and really shouldn’t be about to happen.
“Yeah?” Hyun Joong’s face was a bit flushed, and the edges of his eyes were intent and focused in a way that he wasn’t used to at all. Hyun Joong was giving him a look like that really didn’t matter as much as Jung Min thought that it did, and that couldn’t possibly be right. This was Leader and things in his head worked a little different than anywhere else, and maybe he could just hide in there pretend that his world was reality and he could finally have this without worrying about it.
Hyun Joong’s kiss was lazy, like they had all the time in the world and Jung Min, try as he might, couldn’t up the stakes any, Hyun Joong simply pushed his tongue past his lips and drew his tongue out softly refusing to be hurried. Jung Min wasn’t sure what he wanted, after all there was a first time for everything, but Hyun Joong didn’t need to know that; he knew that there should be more, harder, faster, now. He whined low in his throat and Hyun Joong smiled against his lips, and that felt different, nice-different, but still refused.
After what seemed like an eternity of just kissing on Hyun Joong’s messy bed, reclining on his pillows and no more skin-on-skin than the edge of his thumb rubbing maddening little circles on the crest of Jung Min’s hip.
“Relax,” he said against Jung Min’s lips and they tingled like a fresh bruise; they felt swollen and he felt jittery and jumpy and too full of energy, like he needed something. It wasn’t the same feeling as watching the opening warning and ‘plot bits’ of porn, it was something deeper, more than just mindless lust. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m fine,” Jung Min hissed, kissing the corner of Hyun Joong’s mouth because it was pretty and swollen, an enticing pink that he found irresistible.
“Yeah, of course you are.” Hyun Joong kissed his reply off and so Jung Min bit his lip lightly and Hyun Joong growled against his mouth, the edge of his thumb digging into his hip and Jung Min couldn’t help the shuddery, desperate sound that he made. Things never felt like this when he jerked off alone; yeah sometimes when it had been a while he came fast and hard enough to make his spine curl, but it wasn’t this bright and sharp on the build-up. Like he wasn’t just chasing an end, he was enjoying the journey.
Hyun Joong rolled them so that Jung Min was spread out across him, legs falling open to either side of his hips so that he was straddling him. He looked down at Hyun Joong and got a fond smile in return, hands slipping up and under the back of his shirt. His hands felt warm petting down the line of his back, so Jung Min curled his legs under him, braced himself to either side of Hyun Joong’s head and leaned down for more kisses. This way he had the advantage and so he used it to kiss hard, sloppy and uncoordinated but wet and delicious and everything good about imperfect kisses.
When Hyun Joong drew his hands up he took Jung Min’s shirt with him. He had to sit back, arching up to catch the edge with his hand and drew it completely off, flinging it to the side. Like this he could feel the rise of Hyun Joong’s dick against his ass and couldn’t completely hide the flush on his cheeks and spilling down his neck. Hyun Joong followed it with wandering fingertips, following the lines down his neck and across the muscles of his chest, his expression awed. Jung Min tried to stop it, but he blushed a little harder and got a small smirk for his efforts.
“You’re unexpectedly cute.”
“Of course I am.” He dragged his short and smooth nails across Hyun Joong’s flat stomach as he pushed his shirt up and Hyun Joong’s body rolled so he could push it up further. They had lived together long enough to know what everyone looked like in varying states of undress but this time he was allowed to look, allowed to let his fingers trace the lines his eyes set. The swell of his shoulders, tripping across the sharp little hill of his clavicle down the dip along the middle of his chest to the lines of his ribs and the firm hollow of his tummy. He rolled and shifted under Jung Min’s hands and it changed the topology in new and distracting ways.
“Come here.” Hyun Joong reached up and pulled him down by the nape of his neck for another smooth kiss, letting the feeling roll back and forth between them with slick touches of their tongues. He probably could have spent the entire night like this, pulling desperate and messy lungfuls of humid air from the sliver of space between kisses. His hands slid from his neck, one to cup the back of his skull and the other sweeping in delicate lines down his back, then up his thighs, lingering around his hips.
“Oh please.” He caught himself whispering and begging against Hyun Joong’s face as his hands finally slipped down to hold onto his ass, rolling his whole body up so that they were touching everywhere in stifling waves of motion. “Please please.”
“Please what?” Leader’s voice was rough and low, pressed under his jaw and Jung Min whined softly.
“Everything.” He spread his thighs a little more, which brought them even closer, dipping and twisting his hips in time with Hyun Joong’s slow smooth rhythm.
“Greedy.” He laughed and Jung Min made an annoyed sound - it was silly to think that he’d be anything less.
With Hyun Joong pushing him down and into it, Jung Min twisted and panted; the friction and heat was at the same time too much and too little, like try to get himself off through his pants. He pulled back, fingers slipping and refusing to catch properly on the button to Hyun Joong’s jeans.
“Here.” And at least the other man’s voice sounded as breathless as his, and he was flicking the button to his own jeans, letting Jung Min focus on his own pants. They needed to roll apart to get their pants off. Jung Min hesitated at his underwear, but Hyun Joong had already pulled his off together with his pants so with a mental shrug he kicked them off.
This time when Hyun Joong pulled him on top (lazy fucker) it was miles of hot skin sliding across each other, sliding and sticking and it felt so perfect and edgy. Jung Min instantly slid down so that their chests were touching again too, and it still didn’t feel like enough; he wanted to wrap himself around Hyun Joong completely, to touch and feel him everywhere all at once. He wanted everything.
“I’m going to teach you,” Hyun Joong said against his hair, pulling him down while pushing up, and he could feel the silky skin of his dick rubbing against his hip and the too-much friction of the leaking head of his own cock rubbing across Hyun Joong’s stomach.
“What?” he gasped.
“Next time I’ll teach you what it’s like to get your dick sucked.”
Jung Min made a high desperate sound, “I’m not... it’s—“ He wanted to deny it, that vulnerable little part of him needed every broken denial. But Hyun Joong didn’t need it and he didn’t care, cutting through his rambling with nails digging into the curve of his ass and making everything catch and tangle up in his throat sharply.
“I want to,” he said, and Hyun Joong’s lips were bruised red and his face was flushed and he was just so stupidly beautiful when he smiled. “Hey.” Jung Min flicked his eyes up from his mouth to meet his eyes. “I want to teach you everything.”
He should have known that he couldn’t hide it. Jung Min tossed his hair, trying to flick some of the longer bits out of his eyes, communicating with the set of his mouth and shoulders that ‘fine, then I will be the best you’ve ever had.’ Clearly Hyun Joong knew exactly what that face meant because his smile got even wider, his eyes going all narrow with it.
They were pressed together so that every possible last bit of space was being forced out, and it was forcing his spine to flex and curve too, and he was so uncomfortable but everything wasn’t worth the movement needed to find a more comfortable way of fitting together. Hyun Joong was rolling like the tide between his thighs and Jung Min was unabashedly humping his hip and everything was fucking perfect.
“I want to teach you what’s it’s like to be fucked.” Hyun Joong growled in his ear his voice all rough and Jung Min would be embarrassed about the distinct lack of touching later, but in that one perfect moment he was caught on that mental image of himself being split apart by Hyun Joong’s thick cock, pressing inside. He was gritting his teeth against the sound that felt like it was trying to tear its way out of his chest, something caught between a groan and a sob. He came hard all over Hyun Joong’s tummy, shivering through it as his thighs trembled from holding himself up over him.
“Oh, damn.” Hyun Joong growled and even as Jung Min was still feeling all tight and jittery Hyun Joong was rolling up and pushing them over, tucking Jung Min against him so their limbs didn’t get hopelessly tangled. Breathless and sort of limp, he couldn’t seem to find the strength to move his arms lying where we was left. Hyun Joong was sitting between his spayed thighs, and his tummy was all messy with Jung Min’s come, and he swiped his fingers through it, rubbing just the tips of his fingers over the darkly flushed head, visibly shuddering as he did. Jung Min licked his lips, mouth still working too dry.
He couldn’t watch anything but the subtle play of Hyun Joong’s abdominals as he thrust into the tunnel of his fist, the way slicked with his come. Jung Min couldn’t help the small noise that escaped him when Hyun Joong twisted, his body going taut.
Watching Hyun Joong come and feeling the splashes of wet heat on his tummy felt like two completely separate events, too much for him to process all at once. Jung Min sucked in a fast breath through his teeth staring wide-eyed. Hyun Joong sagged, drooping and bending neatly (while shoving Jung Min’s legs at awkward angles out of his way) so he could press his face to the warm spot just under his chin. It was a bit like being squished by a friendly animal.
“Hyun Joong,” he whined, pushing at his shoulder without any real intent to get him to move; he just felt he should object to being a pillow.
“I mean it you know.” Hyun Joong spoke into the skin of his neck, breath ghosting damp and warm and gooseflesh crept down his arms making the hairs shiver erect.
“Hmm?” Hyun Joong’s lips were pressing delicately there, the barest hint of suction right in the skin where he could probably feel the vibrations; it made his breath catch a bit. Jung Min was finding himself surprisingly amiable to this snuggling business.
“I’ll teach you.” Hyun Joong kissed him hard, lifting himself just barely off Jung Min’s chest so that most of his weight was still pinning him there. He felt safe and comfortable in ways he couldn’t even begin to explain so he kissed back.
“How about we begin now then?” He huffed a laugh against his cheek and Jung Min pulled him down again, closer. “We’ve got the whole night.”
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Date: 2011-02-03 06:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 06:33 am (UTC)I really like the way you wrote this as well your writing style in general, bravo!! My bias is Jung Min and i thought you portrayed him beautifully! Great job bb, thanks for posting <3
no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-03 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-04 07:40 am (UTC)hot. hot. hot. hot.
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Date: 2011-02-04 11:49 pm (UTC)Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-09 08:13 am (UTC)This is absolutely beautiful! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW!!!
You know, I ship HyunSaeng and I force myself to not read anything with them being paired with other members...
But this fic called to me, incessantly tapping me, telling me to click it open... AND I DID NOT REGRET READING THIS ONE BIT!
JUST ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!!
GIVE ME A SPOT IN YOUR SS501 FICS PLEASE. :P
no subject
Date: 2011-02-11 06:48 pm (UTC)No regrets :3
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Date: 2011-02-16 09:46 am (UTC)thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 02:55 am (UTC)*A*
this is so rare and wonderful and I'm in love /sobs