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snoozing_kittenFandom: JE
Pairing: Keiishikido
Title: A Tomato by Any Other Name Would Taste Just as Bad
Rating: R
Chapter: 2/?
Summary: A story that begins with a basket of tomatoes and comes round full circle. Everyone assumed that NewS would just go back to being what it was before they were put on hiatus, but the months in between had changed things in ways no one was ready for. Now they have to deal with the changes and see if maybe this time around they could get it right.
…
I am Captain YamaPi of the SS NEWS, I’m not going down with my ship- because I will not let my ship go down…
…
It wasn’t as much of a plan as it was a misshapen blob in his mind. In the very back where he kept his knowledge of algebra left over from a brief and very annoying stay in high school mathematics. Still it was something. Which was more then he could say about the rest of them.
Leaning on the post outside the Johnny’s building he let the sun beat down on his face and arms. He cast his mind back through the past, trying to let it settle on something. Flitting through memories like the pages of a great scrape book. Long wandering paths through his mind, the fleeting sensation of hands on his skin, smiled shared in the sunlight.
Koyama’s smile, only for him directed at him. Long ago before he was a man of the world he fell hard and fast –childishly so- for a beautiful boy who was too kind to say no. That was just like him though, if you tugged his hand he would fallow, not one to dig his heels into the ground –unlike so many other stupid people he knew. That’s probably what made him do it, that yearning to be a real man, and Koyama who seemed too wise for his age.
There was so much he could learn from him.
Now it was Koyama who was acting the child, and it was up to YamaPi to make it all better again. That’s what leaders did. He was the captain of this ship, and when he pushed his sunglasses up his nose it was like a sea-captain pulling the brim of his hat down –he meant business.
**
The battle lines were clearly drawn, and from the distressed look on Tego’s face the middle ground was quickly diminishing. Kusano and Shige on one side, desperate to protect the dignity of their fallen leader, Uchi on the other, prepared to give his all to protect his idol.
Tego and Massu in the middle, clutching hands and trying not to be caught between the barely suppressed hostility. Koyama looked like he desperately wanted out and Ryo was sulking. Soon the change room would turn into a timeshare and they would be separated again, mocking the fact that they were a group again.
Coughing to alert his presence as much as to break the tension he took off his coat with elaborate motions.
“Shall we get down to work then?”
“Yeah!” That was Tego, rushing forward, Massu on his heels, desperate to get out.
“Kusano, Uchi, shouldn’t you be training?” Uchi clearly looked almost frightened by the prospect of being separated.
“It’s so boring. Don’t make me go there?” Batting his eyes at their leader Kusano stuck out his lower lip. Crossing his arms over his chest YamaPi reminded himself to stand firm, he was unmovable; he was –not- going to give in to that look.
“Go, we need to practice.” Uchi looked crushed, doing his best imitation of Ryo staring moodily at the floor as if it had his answers. “The sooner you two finish training the sooner you can get come back where you belong- with us.” It seemed to work like a real leader speech and the two nodded at him, trotting off to their own training room- Kusano dragging his feet in a final act of defiance.
Ryo left the room, quiet and cold as a gust of winter wind, he had never looked so alone. Koyama’s smile faltered for a moment and he quickly stood as if to give chase, but stopped turning to Shige with one of his goofy looks.
“Shall we get down to practicing?” Turning to leave only YamaPi could see the cold angry look that came across the other’s young face.
He needed to do something about this. Slowly the plan began to take form, like a fragile butterfly crawling wet and defenceless out of its cocoon. He would need to protect it, to allow it to spread its wings. Shaking his head he was the last to exit the room. There was still such a long way to go yet.
…
For such a wise man, you really are an idiot…
…
For all the world it looked like Koyama wanted to pretend this never happened. In fact the face he gave said simply ‘I’ve already forgotten’ but his eyes. The way they had never met Ryo’s were the first give away, each screaming bloody traitor to his calm exterior.
It made Shige so mad. He was generally a peaceful sort, he didn’t like violence and liked to be able to co-exists with all mannerisms of life. But it hurt him on so many levels to see his best friend hurting like this.
It was a cold Tuesday night when Koyama showed up on his doorstep trying really hard to smile even with a bruised cheek. Horror washed over him, on the crest of a wave of worry and he ushered his older friend inside. He looked intact if not for the discolouration on his face.
One by one his mind spun scenarios that would lead to this, and promptly rejecting them. His mouth opened to ask, but the blank look Koyama was giving the wall silenced him. For a moment he was scared that something terrible had happened, but then Koyama was looking at him and speaking softly.
“Do you mind if I stay over?”
“Of course not, I wasn’t doing anything.” He paid little mind to the open textbook on his desk and the blank word document flashing on his monitor; there were some things that were a little more important.
One night bled into four and he still didn’t mind. He knew Koyama was lying to him about the mark on his face, but when the truth finally came out into the open it stung him deeply, and he almost wished Koyama would keep on lying to him. Betrayed by his own best friend, but the tears made forgiveness easy, the older man needed his compassion more then he needed his hurt.
He’d never seen Koyama eat so much ice cream in his whole life.
Since then he had begun to wonder, what else was Koyama keeping from him. How many secrets did that goofy look hide, suddenly there were a bunch of blanks where he once thought reality to be. Along with his suspicion was a burning anger towards the man who would do this to a kind soul like Koyama.
All of these new emotions eclipsed the initial joy he had felt when they announced the return of NewS, after all this whole doing nothing thing was boring him to tears. Which led him to here, dancing beside Ryo, trying not to think about how gratifying it would be to trip him. Koyama would most defiantly be displeased with him if he did something like that, besides such childish antics were usually below him- better left to Kusano.
Koyama was sitting off to the side drinking heavily from a bottle of water and watching the juniors practicing behind them. He would smile and laugh at them, their squeaky voices calling to him and cheering with unbridled glee. Without all his focus it was him who ended up tripping, the ground rushing it up fast to meet him, and how it hurt.
Pain shooting up through his hands and into his shoulder, he yelped. In a moment YamaPi who had been to his other side was crouching near him.
“Are you okay Shige?”
“I’ll be fine.” He grimaced, sitting up and looking at his scraped palm. Blood was quickly welling in the cuts and threatened to spill over.
“I’ll go get the injury box.” Ryo strode away, and it had always annoyed Shige that he down right refused to say ‘first aid box’. So much about Ryo set him on edge and he felt helplessly pissed off for a moment, completely oblivious to YamaPi’s hands stroking his back.
“You should be more careful.” Koyama’s voice, near his left ear, and he looked at his friend, he looks worried and for once not sad. A shadow falling over the three, Ryo standing looking almost –nervous- holding out the first aid box.
There was a tense silence, Shige ready to just stand up and walk away instead of letting Ryo help him. He would not let Ryo atone that easily. To his outrage he saw Koyama’s face soften a little, the barest hints of a smile forming on his lips.
“Thanks.” He said simply, taking the box from Ryo’s unresisting fingers. And it was like the whole room had held its breath for that moment. Juniors raised on their tip-toes, curious as to what happened. Ryo turned and left without really saying anything else, Tegoshi running to his side to speak with him.
He would never forgive Ryo, no matter what he did.
…
The first step was always the highest…
…
Like sun glinting off the sticky wings of his plan, he knew what he needed to do, and boy it did not look like an easy undertaking. That’s why he was the leader; he was willing to do all the hard work.
Snapped out of his thoughts by a loud squeal as a junior was being attacked by Massu, with his large tickling fingers. Brushing off the momentary distraction he went back to contemplating.
Yesterday’s practice had given him all the insight he needed to begin phase one of his plan. First off he needed an ally. He knew he could count on Massu and Tego, since they were already neutral parties, easily swayed to his will. Like a ruler he needed to think out where to move his troops and how in order to reign in peace to his land. Far to the north and cold as the ice there was Ryo, and to his south, sunny and warm as a day on the beach- Koyama.
To bring the north and south together he needed to take away the middle ground until they had no choice but to get over what happened. The glimmer of hope and chewing his lips be began to brood about the finer points on how to get his plan under way.
The first choice was obvious. Shige needed to be converted to the word of YamaPi.
“Oi! Shige!” There was only Massu in the change room, randomly bobbing his head to the beat pouring from his headphones. The dark haired boy looked up at him, slipping his shirt over his skinny chest, quickly smoothing out the mess it made of his hair. He was the type who hated when his hair looked messy, just as Kusano was the type to enjoy messing it.
“Hm?”
“Want to go out for dinner later?” He could see the decline on the end of his lips moments before he spit it out and in an effort to change his mind decided to appeal to his compassion. “… With Jin gone… I get so lonely… I really missed everyone.”
Being an actor had it’s advantageous. Lying with a straight face was one of them. Not to say he didn’t miss everyone, but truly he could give a rat’s ass where Jin stole away too.
The other benefit he could easily lie to himself.
Shige’s expression softened, with a bite of his bottom lip he smiled almost shyly. “Sure, we can do dinner. What time did you want to meet?”
“My place, at six.”
“I’ll be there.” With that same smile Shige slipped his mobile into the outside pocket of his bag and was gone. With a self-satisfied smirk YamaPi finished packing his own bag and stood to leave.
“Bye Massu.” He called.
“What?” The boy looked at him, blinking.
“Good bye Massu!” He called a little louder, hoping to be heard over the music.
“What?!” Massu called a little louder.
“GOOD BYE-“ He was cut short by Massu’s giggling, cursing to himself he stalked out of the room followed the entire way by the younger man’s laughter.
Maybe he didn’t miss them as much as he thought he did.
**
Setting the hat on his head he triple checked his reflection, the creature there –looking stunning as always- winked at him. Grinning in return he stepped back to narrow his eyes at his outfit.
After all, one must dress to succeed.
Shige was punctual, but that was a given; only heaven’s wrath –or possibly a snowstorm- could stop him from arriving at the door just as his clock struck six. He was toying with the idea of Shige showing up early and just waiting; as he opened his front door for the younger man.
“Just let me grab my jacket and we’ll go.” Slipping on his coat he slipped out into a rather damp night, Shige by his side.
“Did you mean what you said?” They were waiting on the street corner for the light to change, Shige’s black umbrella hiding his face from the light. Shifting his umbrella to the other hand YamaPi looked at him blinking.
“Mean what?”
“About missing everyone.” Before YamaPi could open his mouth to say something convincing, Shige continued on. “I missed being around everyone, but you; you had so much without us. For you there was no point in coming back was there?” The piercing truth in his eyes made YamaPi look away- after all he wanted to say no. “I thought ‘once NewS comes back, everything is going to be right again.”
“It is right.” The look Shige sent him told him simply no, and YamaPi sighed. “This is… only a phase. I mean we just got back right?”
“Everything has changed.”
“Nothing’s changed.” The force of his voice surprised even him, and started a small frail looking woman on the other side of him, smiling in an apologetic way he turned back to Shige. “We are NewS.”
“You’re YamaPi, you’ve always been YamaPi.” That stung; leave it to Shige to rub salt in open wounds. He was what he was and he always looked out for his own interests –who else would if not him? “Tego and Massu, they have their own thing now.”
“That doesn’t mean we aren’t still together.”
“I guess.” Shige’s shoulders slumped a little and for a moment YamaPi was uncertain of what to say. Comforting people was never a strong point of his, and clearly Shige needed him to say something. Something other then ‘we never really were together.’
Not like Arashi, not like SMAP, and not like V6. Last summer they were YamaPi, Tego, Koyama, Kusano, Massu, Uchi, Shige and Ryo. Now they were as divided as ever, just another accident waiting to happen.
“Shige, we would never just split up and leave like that.” YamaPi reached out from under his umbrella, reaching out to touch Shige’s shoulder was like reaching across a chasm and for a moment he was wondering if he would make it. Then his fingertips brushed the skin of his cheek softly, and he was reminded of just how young Shige was.
It was about damn time he started being the leader he said he was.
“Wouldn’t you?”
“What are you saying about your elder!?” He said it in a joking manner, but it fell completely flat between them. “We can do this. We can make NewS work, don’t you want too?”
“…” Shige looked up at him and for a moment he had the horrible thought that Shige was going to say ‘no’. To trample on his resolve, he was –going- to be a leader this time, just give me a chance. “Yes.”
“Well, lets start with dinner.” Tugging Shige along by the hand they crossed the street to the small restaurant waiting for them with a warm meal and a dry seat.
…
He’s not the sort of man I’d trust my heart to; I won’t let things happen twice…
…
YamaPi was grinning ear to ear; all but bragging about all the things he did while they were on break. Talking in a very animated manner about his single and how it made him feel, giggling about a sparkly jacket he loved dearly. He nodded like he was listening but it was going in one ear and out the other.
Stuck going in circles he thought about the street corner, about YamaPi’s intense face as he told him that things were going to work out. In a small part of his mind he didn’t want them too. He wanted to go back to the days when things had been simple, days of the past filled with smiles and laugher. Kusano and Koyama and him, wasting away youth like it would never end.
The never-ending dream of boyhood being in Johnny’s trapped them in. While he still looked young, he felt so old. Older then a pile of bones rotting away on his chair, and still YamaPi was talking.
“I worked on weights on what free time I could get… did you watch Kurosagi? The plot was so sad, but it was so fun to play…”
On and on, and Shige couldn’t help but to let his mind wander –YamaPi had that affect on people. Or on the reverse, people tended to have that affect on Shige. All the pretty words YamaPi had said to him, using the tone, of a man damned; begging for salvation. How many more people planned on lying to him?
If it wasn’t Koyama’s smile, it was YamaPi’s assurances. Kusano’s innocent face, or Tego’s welcoming arms. They all wanted something for themselves and Shige felt stupid for only now figuring out. For the first time in such a long time he felt alone. They were people just like him, capable of making mistakes or hurting someone.
Ryo was only human too.
He didn’t want to think about it, because he was angry, and there was no room for reason or logic.
“Shige? Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah, of course.” What YamaPi didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. Well, it could, and one day it probably would.
“Okay.” YamaPi scooped a small mound of ice cream onto the spoon and held it out to Shige, bait to grab his attention. With a grin he leaned forward and licked it, letting the sweet sensation roll through his mouth. “I was thinking.”
“Hm?” Shige turned his attention to his own desert, a piece of cake. “About what?”
“Everything you said. About… us.” YamaPi smiled a little, taking a bite of ice cream. “I want to fix things.”
Shige was quiet, how could he say he’d been thinking about it too, but he didn’t want to fix things. He wanted to take Koyama’s hand in his and they could run- run away.
“I need your help Shige. I don’t want everything to fall apart again.” Looking down YamaPi wet his lips, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself.
It was touching. Opening his mouth he was a heartbeat from telling YamaPi that he would help in any way he could.
“I want to get Koyama and Ryo back together.” Tenderness turned to shock, a spark of anger in his chest dormant and flaring suddenly to life.
“What?”
“I want to get them back together.” Snapping his mouth closed he narrowed his eyes dangerously. That was not an option and YamaPi should know that, he should know how helpless he had felt watching as Koyama slowly put himself back together.
“No.”
“Shige, don’t be stubborn with me.” YamaPi looked annoyed for a moment, Shige managed only barely to keep his own feelings from showing on his face. “Tell me, you know Koyama best right?”
“Of course I do.” A question like that didn’t need any thought, it was like asking him what his name was. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“If he could do something that would benefit NewS he would wouldn’t he?” That question was also laughable; Koyama the -eternal mother hen- would do almost anything to help them.
“Yes…”
“So, if Koyama got back together with Ryo, wouldn’t it help?”
“No.” YamaPi sighed, and Shige felt the beginnings of annoyance stirring in his stomach. Here was YamaPi making about as much sense as an insane man, and he had the audacity to be angry with –him?
“It’s putting a strain on us.” He looked at his ice cream. “Everything that’s happened it hurting us as a group.”
“NewS was too big.” This after all wasn’t simply the fault of just two people, that’s what YamaPi couldn’t see. Like an apple rotten at the core, you couldn’t just cut off the bruised piece; you had to throw out the whole thing. They were rotten at the core; there was just something –wrong- with them.
“No.” He said it firmly; spearing Shige to the spot with his intense look, for a second time that night Shige began to wonder if there was more to YamaPi then egotism. “There is nothing wrong with NewS, we just need to fix this.”
“I’m not getting Koyama back with Ryo.” He shifted his posture to show that he would not budge and YamaPi’s expression hardened in return.
“I need you with me, not against me.” He would not allow Koyama to come near Ryo again, he had his chance and he went wrong. End of story.
His own side story was the betrayal that flared to life when he thought about it. A small pale flame in his mind, it was uncomfortable- and yet there was nothing he could about it. He told Koyama –everything- they were best friends after all. Only in retrospect did he realize that Koyama didn’t show him that same trust, that same bond.
It must have been Ryo’s fault.
It just had to be.
“I can’t help you with that. I’m not going to let you sacrifice Koyama like some martyr.”
“Sacrifice? I want him to be happy too.” Shige made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t you think Ryo made him happy?”
“He hurt him.”
“Koyama hurt Ryo too.”
“It was Ryo’s fault.”
“…” YamaPi rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair; with a dark expression he shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.
YamaPi was acting so childish, sulking like that.
Like a bunch of children squabbling, that’s just what they were. Looking down into his own melting dessert he ate in silence.
Pairing: Keiishikido
Title: A Tomato by Any Other Name Would Taste Just as Bad
Rating: R
Chapter: 2/?
Summary: A story that begins with a basket of tomatoes and comes round full circle. Everyone assumed that NewS would just go back to being what it was before they were put on hiatus, but the months in between had changed things in ways no one was ready for. Now they have to deal with the changes and see if maybe this time around they could get it right.
…
I am Captain YamaPi of the SS NEWS, I’m not going down with my ship- because I will not let my ship go down…
…
It wasn’t as much of a plan as it was a misshapen blob in his mind. In the very back where he kept his knowledge of algebra left over from a brief and very annoying stay in high school mathematics. Still it was something. Which was more then he could say about the rest of them.
Leaning on the post outside the Johnny’s building he let the sun beat down on his face and arms. He cast his mind back through the past, trying to let it settle on something. Flitting through memories like the pages of a great scrape book. Long wandering paths through his mind, the fleeting sensation of hands on his skin, smiled shared in the sunlight.
Koyama’s smile, only for him directed at him. Long ago before he was a man of the world he fell hard and fast –childishly so- for a beautiful boy who was too kind to say no. That was just like him though, if you tugged his hand he would fallow, not one to dig his heels into the ground –unlike so many other stupid people he knew. That’s probably what made him do it, that yearning to be a real man, and Koyama who seemed too wise for his age.
There was so much he could learn from him.
Now it was Koyama who was acting the child, and it was up to YamaPi to make it all better again. That’s what leaders did. He was the captain of this ship, and when he pushed his sunglasses up his nose it was like a sea-captain pulling the brim of his hat down –he meant business.
**
The battle lines were clearly drawn, and from the distressed look on Tego’s face the middle ground was quickly diminishing. Kusano and Shige on one side, desperate to protect the dignity of their fallen leader, Uchi on the other, prepared to give his all to protect his idol.
Tego and Massu in the middle, clutching hands and trying not to be caught between the barely suppressed hostility. Koyama looked like he desperately wanted out and Ryo was sulking. Soon the change room would turn into a timeshare and they would be separated again, mocking the fact that they were a group again.
Coughing to alert his presence as much as to break the tension he took off his coat with elaborate motions.
“Shall we get down to work then?”
“Yeah!” That was Tego, rushing forward, Massu on his heels, desperate to get out.
“Kusano, Uchi, shouldn’t you be training?” Uchi clearly looked almost frightened by the prospect of being separated.
“It’s so boring. Don’t make me go there?” Batting his eyes at their leader Kusano stuck out his lower lip. Crossing his arms over his chest YamaPi reminded himself to stand firm, he was unmovable; he was –not- going to give in to that look.
“Go, we need to practice.” Uchi looked crushed, doing his best imitation of Ryo staring moodily at the floor as if it had his answers. “The sooner you two finish training the sooner you can get come back where you belong- with us.” It seemed to work like a real leader speech and the two nodded at him, trotting off to their own training room- Kusano dragging his feet in a final act of defiance.
Ryo left the room, quiet and cold as a gust of winter wind, he had never looked so alone. Koyama’s smile faltered for a moment and he quickly stood as if to give chase, but stopped turning to Shige with one of his goofy looks.
“Shall we get down to practicing?” Turning to leave only YamaPi could see the cold angry look that came across the other’s young face.
He needed to do something about this. Slowly the plan began to take form, like a fragile butterfly crawling wet and defenceless out of its cocoon. He would need to protect it, to allow it to spread its wings. Shaking his head he was the last to exit the room. There was still such a long way to go yet.
…
For such a wise man, you really are an idiot…
…
For all the world it looked like Koyama wanted to pretend this never happened. In fact the face he gave said simply ‘I’ve already forgotten’ but his eyes. The way they had never met Ryo’s were the first give away, each screaming bloody traitor to his calm exterior.
It made Shige so mad. He was generally a peaceful sort, he didn’t like violence and liked to be able to co-exists with all mannerisms of life. But it hurt him on so many levels to see his best friend hurting like this.
It was a cold Tuesday night when Koyama showed up on his doorstep trying really hard to smile even with a bruised cheek. Horror washed over him, on the crest of a wave of worry and he ushered his older friend inside. He looked intact if not for the discolouration on his face.
One by one his mind spun scenarios that would lead to this, and promptly rejecting them. His mouth opened to ask, but the blank look Koyama was giving the wall silenced him. For a moment he was scared that something terrible had happened, but then Koyama was looking at him and speaking softly.
“Do you mind if I stay over?”
“Of course not, I wasn’t doing anything.” He paid little mind to the open textbook on his desk and the blank word document flashing on his monitor; there were some things that were a little more important.
One night bled into four and he still didn’t mind. He knew Koyama was lying to him about the mark on his face, but when the truth finally came out into the open it stung him deeply, and he almost wished Koyama would keep on lying to him. Betrayed by his own best friend, but the tears made forgiveness easy, the older man needed his compassion more then he needed his hurt.
He’d never seen Koyama eat so much ice cream in his whole life.
Since then he had begun to wonder, what else was Koyama keeping from him. How many secrets did that goofy look hide, suddenly there were a bunch of blanks where he once thought reality to be. Along with his suspicion was a burning anger towards the man who would do this to a kind soul like Koyama.
All of these new emotions eclipsed the initial joy he had felt when they announced the return of NewS, after all this whole doing nothing thing was boring him to tears. Which led him to here, dancing beside Ryo, trying not to think about how gratifying it would be to trip him. Koyama would most defiantly be displeased with him if he did something like that, besides such childish antics were usually below him- better left to Kusano.
Koyama was sitting off to the side drinking heavily from a bottle of water and watching the juniors practicing behind them. He would smile and laugh at them, their squeaky voices calling to him and cheering with unbridled glee. Without all his focus it was him who ended up tripping, the ground rushing it up fast to meet him, and how it hurt.
Pain shooting up through his hands and into his shoulder, he yelped. In a moment YamaPi who had been to his other side was crouching near him.
“Are you okay Shige?”
“I’ll be fine.” He grimaced, sitting up and looking at his scraped palm. Blood was quickly welling in the cuts and threatened to spill over.
“I’ll go get the injury box.” Ryo strode away, and it had always annoyed Shige that he down right refused to say ‘first aid box’. So much about Ryo set him on edge and he felt helplessly pissed off for a moment, completely oblivious to YamaPi’s hands stroking his back.
“You should be more careful.” Koyama’s voice, near his left ear, and he looked at his friend, he looks worried and for once not sad. A shadow falling over the three, Ryo standing looking almost –nervous- holding out the first aid box.
There was a tense silence, Shige ready to just stand up and walk away instead of letting Ryo help him. He would not let Ryo atone that easily. To his outrage he saw Koyama’s face soften a little, the barest hints of a smile forming on his lips.
“Thanks.” He said simply, taking the box from Ryo’s unresisting fingers. And it was like the whole room had held its breath for that moment. Juniors raised on their tip-toes, curious as to what happened. Ryo turned and left without really saying anything else, Tegoshi running to his side to speak with him.
He would never forgive Ryo, no matter what he did.
…
The first step was always the highest…
…
Like sun glinting off the sticky wings of his plan, he knew what he needed to do, and boy it did not look like an easy undertaking. That’s why he was the leader; he was willing to do all the hard work.
Snapped out of his thoughts by a loud squeal as a junior was being attacked by Massu, with his large tickling fingers. Brushing off the momentary distraction he went back to contemplating.
Yesterday’s practice had given him all the insight he needed to begin phase one of his plan. First off he needed an ally. He knew he could count on Massu and Tego, since they were already neutral parties, easily swayed to his will. Like a ruler he needed to think out where to move his troops and how in order to reign in peace to his land. Far to the north and cold as the ice there was Ryo, and to his south, sunny and warm as a day on the beach- Koyama.
To bring the north and south together he needed to take away the middle ground until they had no choice but to get over what happened. The glimmer of hope and chewing his lips be began to brood about the finer points on how to get his plan under way.
The first choice was obvious. Shige needed to be converted to the word of YamaPi.
“Oi! Shige!” There was only Massu in the change room, randomly bobbing his head to the beat pouring from his headphones. The dark haired boy looked up at him, slipping his shirt over his skinny chest, quickly smoothing out the mess it made of his hair. He was the type who hated when his hair looked messy, just as Kusano was the type to enjoy messing it.
“Hm?”
“Want to go out for dinner later?” He could see the decline on the end of his lips moments before he spit it out and in an effort to change his mind decided to appeal to his compassion. “… With Jin gone… I get so lonely… I really missed everyone.”
Being an actor had it’s advantageous. Lying with a straight face was one of them. Not to say he didn’t miss everyone, but truly he could give a rat’s ass where Jin stole away too.
The other benefit he could easily lie to himself.
Shige’s expression softened, with a bite of his bottom lip he smiled almost shyly. “Sure, we can do dinner. What time did you want to meet?”
“My place, at six.”
“I’ll be there.” With that same smile Shige slipped his mobile into the outside pocket of his bag and was gone. With a self-satisfied smirk YamaPi finished packing his own bag and stood to leave.
“Bye Massu.” He called.
“What?” The boy looked at him, blinking.
“Good bye Massu!” He called a little louder, hoping to be heard over the music.
“What?!” Massu called a little louder.
“GOOD BYE-“ He was cut short by Massu’s giggling, cursing to himself he stalked out of the room followed the entire way by the younger man’s laughter.
Maybe he didn’t miss them as much as he thought he did.
**
Setting the hat on his head he triple checked his reflection, the creature there –looking stunning as always- winked at him. Grinning in return he stepped back to narrow his eyes at his outfit.
After all, one must dress to succeed.
Shige was punctual, but that was a given; only heaven’s wrath –or possibly a snowstorm- could stop him from arriving at the door just as his clock struck six. He was toying with the idea of Shige showing up early and just waiting; as he opened his front door for the younger man.
“Just let me grab my jacket and we’ll go.” Slipping on his coat he slipped out into a rather damp night, Shige by his side.
“Did you mean what you said?” They were waiting on the street corner for the light to change, Shige’s black umbrella hiding his face from the light. Shifting his umbrella to the other hand YamaPi looked at him blinking.
“Mean what?”
“About missing everyone.” Before YamaPi could open his mouth to say something convincing, Shige continued on. “I missed being around everyone, but you; you had so much without us. For you there was no point in coming back was there?” The piercing truth in his eyes made YamaPi look away- after all he wanted to say no. “I thought ‘once NewS comes back, everything is going to be right again.”
“It is right.” The look Shige sent him told him simply no, and YamaPi sighed. “This is… only a phase. I mean we just got back right?”
“Everything has changed.”
“Nothing’s changed.” The force of his voice surprised even him, and started a small frail looking woman on the other side of him, smiling in an apologetic way he turned back to Shige. “We are NewS.”
“You’re YamaPi, you’ve always been YamaPi.” That stung; leave it to Shige to rub salt in open wounds. He was what he was and he always looked out for his own interests –who else would if not him? “Tego and Massu, they have their own thing now.”
“That doesn’t mean we aren’t still together.”
“I guess.” Shige’s shoulders slumped a little and for a moment YamaPi was uncertain of what to say. Comforting people was never a strong point of his, and clearly Shige needed him to say something. Something other then ‘we never really were together.’
Not like Arashi, not like SMAP, and not like V6. Last summer they were YamaPi, Tego, Koyama, Kusano, Massu, Uchi, Shige and Ryo. Now they were as divided as ever, just another accident waiting to happen.
“Shige, we would never just split up and leave like that.” YamaPi reached out from under his umbrella, reaching out to touch Shige’s shoulder was like reaching across a chasm and for a moment he was wondering if he would make it. Then his fingertips brushed the skin of his cheek softly, and he was reminded of just how young Shige was.
It was about damn time he started being the leader he said he was.
“Wouldn’t you?”
“What are you saying about your elder!?” He said it in a joking manner, but it fell completely flat between them. “We can do this. We can make NewS work, don’t you want too?”
“…” Shige looked up at him and for a moment he had the horrible thought that Shige was going to say ‘no’. To trample on his resolve, he was –going- to be a leader this time, just give me a chance. “Yes.”
“Well, lets start with dinner.” Tugging Shige along by the hand they crossed the street to the small restaurant waiting for them with a warm meal and a dry seat.
…
He’s not the sort of man I’d trust my heart to; I won’t let things happen twice…
…
YamaPi was grinning ear to ear; all but bragging about all the things he did while they were on break. Talking in a very animated manner about his single and how it made him feel, giggling about a sparkly jacket he loved dearly. He nodded like he was listening but it was going in one ear and out the other.
Stuck going in circles he thought about the street corner, about YamaPi’s intense face as he told him that things were going to work out. In a small part of his mind he didn’t want them too. He wanted to go back to the days when things had been simple, days of the past filled with smiles and laugher. Kusano and Koyama and him, wasting away youth like it would never end.
The never-ending dream of boyhood being in Johnny’s trapped them in. While he still looked young, he felt so old. Older then a pile of bones rotting away on his chair, and still YamaPi was talking.
“I worked on weights on what free time I could get… did you watch Kurosagi? The plot was so sad, but it was so fun to play…”
On and on, and Shige couldn’t help but to let his mind wander –YamaPi had that affect on people. Or on the reverse, people tended to have that affect on Shige. All the pretty words YamaPi had said to him, using the tone, of a man damned; begging for salvation. How many more people planned on lying to him?
If it wasn’t Koyama’s smile, it was YamaPi’s assurances. Kusano’s innocent face, or Tego’s welcoming arms. They all wanted something for themselves and Shige felt stupid for only now figuring out. For the first time in such a long time he felt alone. They were people just like him, capable of making mistakes or hurting someone.
Ryo was only human too.
He didn’t want to think about it, because he was angry, and there was no room for reason or logic.
“Shige? Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah, of course.” What YamaPi didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. Well, it could, and one day it probably would.
“Okay.” YamaPi scooped a small mound of ice cream onto the spoon and held it out to Shige, bait to grab his attention. With a grin he leaned forward and licked it, letting the sweet sensation roll through his mouth. “I was thinking.”
“Hm?” Shige turned his attention to his own desert, a piece of cake. “About what?”
“Everything you said. About… us.” YamaPi smiled a little, taking a bite of ice cream. “I want to fix things.”
Shige was quiet, how could he say he’d been thinking about it too, but he didn’t want to fix things. He wanted to take Koyama’s hand in his and they could run- run away.
“I need your help Shige. I don’t want everything to fall apart again.” Looking down YamaPi wet his lips, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself.
It was touching. Opening his mouth he was a heartbeat from telling YamaPi that he would help in any way he could.
“I want to get Koyama and Ryo back together.” Tenderness turned to shock, a spark of anger in his chest dormant and flaring suddenly to life.
“What?”
“I want to get them back together.” Snapping his mouth closed he narrowed his eyes dangerously. That was not an option and YamaPi should know that, he should know how helpless he had felt watching as Koyama slowly put himself back together.
“No.”
“Shige, don’t be stubborn with me.” YamaPi looked annoyed for a moment, Shige managed only barely to keep his own feelings from showing on his face. “Tell me, you know Koyama best right?”
“Of course I do.” A question like that didn’t need any thought, it was like asking him what his name was. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“If he could do something that would benefit NewS he would wouldn’t he?” That question was also laughable; Koyama the -eternal mother hen- would do almost anything to help them.
“Yes…”
“So, if Koyama got back together with Ryo, wouldn’t it help?”
“No.” YamaPi sighed, and Shige felt the beginnings of annoyance stirring in his stomach. Here was YamaPi making about as much sense as an insane man, and he had the audacity to be angry with –him?
“It’s putting a strain on us.” He looked at his ice cream. “Everything that’s happened it hurting us as a group.”
“NewS was too big.” This after all wasn’t simply the fault of just two people, that’s what YamaPi couldn’t see. Like an apple rotten at the core, you couldn’t just cut off the bruised piece; you had to throw out the whole thing. They were rotten at the core; there was just something –wrong- with them.
“No.” He said it firmly; spearing Shige to the spot with his intense look, for a second time that night Shige began to wonder if there was more to YamaPi then egotism. “There is nothing wrong with NewS, we just need to fix this.”
“I’m not getting Koyama back with Ryo.” He shifted his posture to show that he would not budge and YamaPi’s expression hardened in return.
“I need you with me, not against me.” He would not allow Koyama to come near Ryo again, he had his chance and he went wrong. End of story.
His own side story was the betrayal that flared to life when he thought about it. A small pale flame in his mind, it was uncomfortable- and yet there was nothing he could about it. He told Koyama –everything- they were best friends after all. Only in retrospect did he realize that Koyama didn’t show him that same trust, that same bond.
It must have been Ryo’s fault.
It just had to be.
“I can’t help you with that. I’m not going to let you sacrifice Koyama like some martyr.”
“Sacrifice? I want him to be happy too.” Shige made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t you think Ryo made him happy?”
“He hurt him.”
“Koyama hurt Ryo too.”
“It was Ryo’s fault.”
“…” YamaPi rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair; with a dark expression he shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.
YamaPi was acting so childish, sulking like that.
Like a bunch of children squabbling, that’s just what they were. Looking down into his own melting dessert he ate in silence.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-20 10:36 pm (UTC)And I'm in a rush...so forgive the short comment. =P
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Date: 2007-01-21 05:57 am (UTC)So not forgiven. I'm angry! I said I wasn't going to post this till you did... but I got ansty, and you have exams and this was like supposed to make you happy and you did this! D=
Forgiven ^-^ Thank for the comment, I live off them.
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Date: 2007-01-21 06:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 05:59 am (UTC)Thanks for the comment!
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Date: 2007-01-21 08:16 am (UTC)Gah! I'm not making sense. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. But I'm really enjoying reading this, so I hope you don't mind this odd comment XD
Ah, lovely work, can't wait to read the next chapter!
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Date: 2007-01-21 05:53 pm (UTC)Thank you~!
No one ever said life had to make sense now did they.
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Date: 2007-01-21 08:49 pm (UTC)"I am Captain YamaPi of the SS NEWS, I’m not going down with my ship- because I will not let my ship go down…"
So I giggled when I read that...the SS NEWS. There is a ship I want to be on!
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Date: 2007-01-21 09:14 pm (UTC)Oh yes, the SS NEWS, complete with the world's ugliest uniforms (mandatory you know) =) sounds like a good time all around.
Thanks for the comment!
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Date: 2007-01-21 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-21 09:23 pm (UTC)But its a REALLY nice way to let the story unfold. yeah! Like it! XD and shige is so mean. no really.
Ryo was only human too.
Really? XDDDDDDD;